Adept Press

This is follow-up to the "create a characters" thread, I am seeing enough characters to finalize the whole circle and start preparation for a session.

The minimum number of players is 3 (including the GM) so the minimal circle is formed by 6 veteran PC character. I will use the two I created here (http://indie-rpgs.com/adept/index.php?topic=300.0), the two created by Joshua here (http://indie-rpgs.com/adept/index.php?topic=301.0) and the two created by Ron in the examples in the rules draft, Meinhard and Krimhilde.

Their total is:
Meinhard: 26
Krimhilde: 22
Gebbert: 24
Dagmar: 23
Kurt: 22
Ludwig: 26

The lowest scores are the ones of Krimhilde, Kurt and Dagmar, so they get a +1 in any score the player choose (I give Kurt a +1 in Quickness, he needs it), and both Kurt and Krimhilde get a "tally item" (what is it? A Tally? Something from the tally list, that start at two tallies, though?))

Now it's the time for the adventure preparation. The rolls are:
Black Die: 3 (http://dadi.lapo.it/1395096055)
White Die: 3 (http://dadi.lapo.it/1395096064)
Red Die: 4 (http://dadi.lapo.it/1395096070)

There is a tie, on a 3, so the adventure location is: Famberge
(by the way, how do you pronounce Famberge? I can't avoid thinking about Fabergé (http://www.faberge.com) when I read it...)

The black result give me Opportunity for Rolke, adding the white result I get Rbaja interference, covert or overt, the red result would give a total over 7 so I ignore it.

As GM, I tell the players only about the first of these, an opportunity for Rolke.

And I see I have to come up with a map...

At this point, usually, in the old days I always used a gaming module, or a adventure from "Dungeon magazine". They had better maps and saved me from a lot of boring preparation work. Their big drawback was the way they often presented the material as a "story" or at least assuming some kind of crumb trail for the characters. But reading this game, what I noticed is that is practically perfect for the use of prepared adventures...
The adventure start on location, already with some sort of mission or objective, that does not depends on things like "levels" or the "adventuring party" for that matter. The amount of customization is minimal (the number of tallies, the stats of the single most problematic individual, etc) and can be done in a few minutes. A gaming module done like this could be used practically by everybody without having any premade "story" inside...

And I would gladly pay money for a product like that: you could start a sort of online magazine, like the old "Dungeon" with the adventures sent by the readers....

Anyway...

I am no good at all with names (the game need a list of places names, I suggest, and a longer list of character names...  they are used up pretty fast...), and this adventure will probably never be played (the other players are probably reading this thread right now), so I am not going to try to be original and I will do as less work as possible. In this case, the opportunity for Rolke is a possible alliance with a neighboring baron in Famberge: the old baron, that periodically raided Rolke, is dead, and his successor, it's said, is a lot less aggressive: he could be convinced to be more cooperative, in exchange for Rolke's help in securing his new rule.

The second component present a "interference": does this not go against the instruction in the chapter about not tying up the two components together? The first "interference" I can think of is that is in Rbaja's interest to have the negotiation fails... but this would mean tying the two component very strictly together...

Hi Moreno!

Let's see ...

I'm not sure if you have a question about the tallies or not, but the way your character list rolled out, whoever made up Krimhilde picks any single tally from the two lists (I'd choose the pegasus, it suits her), and whoever made up Kurt (was that Joshua?) does the same.

Currently I'm not sure whether the lists should remain the same, or if once you pick one, it's gone and the GM has to make up something cool for that number.

I'm completely in agreement with you about Famberge. I originally pronounced as in the French, with the same twinge as you regarding those silly eggs, but given the new context for the setting, it should be "fahm-BEAR-geh." Which sounds kind of cool, but I'm not used to it yet. On a similar note, "Rolke" should have two syllables, but I usually make the second one very short, almost a terminal grunt, rather than saying "rolkeh."

"Interference" for either Rbaja or Amboriyon only and solely means that the respective form of magic is seriously affecting things there. "Things" does not have to mean the other component. So go ahead and choosing anything at all from the Rbaja material that strikes your fancy and resonates with your impression of Famberge. Oh wait - it should be a major enchantment, an Rbaja zone, a demon, or a wizard. Undead are more in the "monster" category, although if there's an Rbaja zone afoot, you can expect to find a few as things move along.

Given any such creature or person, merely think about who might be targeted by it, or complicit with it, and there are your NPCs. Remember, in play, crossover between the components can happen all you want or rather, as makes sense given how things develop.

Quote from: Ron Edwards on March 18, 2014, 12:12:30 AM
I'm not sure if you have a question about the tallies or not, but the way your character list rolled out, whoever made up Krimhilde picks any single tally from the two lists (I'd choose the pegasus, it suits her), and whoever made up Kurt (was that Joshua?) does the same.

Oh, yes, it was not very clear in the text...so I can choose any item in one of the two list? (Kurt is one of mine, the Scholar-Merchant-Fence that summon demons...).

I think a Black tally is more suited to the character, and seeing that his key event was being almost killed by a Lich Lord, I would be tempted to choose 5, Acquaintance with an ancient lich who provides indirect help once per adventure with a C vs.
12 roll, failure results in it adding itself to the adventure against your efforts: but it's a little "Trollbabeism", the idea of using a personal enemy as helpful resource, I don't know if it would work in this game...

Do I have to roll the d6 for additional visible effects, or that happen only when I get a Tally during an adventure?

Quote
I'm completely in agreement with you about Famberge. I originally pronounced as in the French, with the same twinge as you regarding those silly eggs, but given the new context for the setting, it should be "fahm-BEAR-geh." Which sounds kind of cool, but I'm not used to it yet. On a similar note, "Rolke" should have two syllables, but I usually make the second one very short, almost a terminal grunt, rather than saying "rolkeh."

Do you remember "why these names"? They mean something?

Quote"Interference" for either Rbaja or Amboriyon only and solely means that the respective form of magic is seriously affecting things there. "Things" does not have to mean the other component. So go ahead and choosing anything at all from the Rbaja material that strikes your fancy and resonates with your impression of Famberge. Oh wait - it should be a major enchantment, an Rbaja zone, a demon, or a wizard. Undead are more in the "monster" category, although if there's an Rbaja zone afoot, you can expect to find a few as things move along.

This remind me about a question I forgot to ask before: the bulleted entries on the components list...  I wanted to ask if they were examples, or sub-choices, or what. 

Now, for the rest of the preparation, I have to find a map already done that will save me all the preparation work. Even if I will have to do more work to find it (the amount of work I am ready to do to avoid any preparation work is impressive)

Sharing an insight:

Something bothered me about the example scenario generated in the playest document.  A while after I read it, I kept thinking "this adventure is going to be over in 1 scene.  PCs show up, ask for dagger, chief (or wyrm) refuses, big battle, the end."  Other scenarios that I came up with in my head (while driving, I didn't have the game text in front of me) had the same problem: over in one scene.  This morning I finally got a chance to re-read the game text, and here's the important point that I initially missed:

"It is good practice not to ram all the components' features into one small spot, e.g. putting the dagger into the wyrm's collection. That is called "writing," which is to say, "And then the player-characters have to fight the wyrm!" as part of prep, and it is precisely what not to do for this game."  That's exactly the mistake that I'd made.

Don't integrate the elements of the prepared scenario too tightly.  Separate them to create tension between them.  The chief doesn't know about the dagger.  The wyrm probably senses it, or maybe has been promised it.  The guy with the dagger has plans of his own.  The PCs have several options as to how to approach the situation.  When they show up and start asking for (or covertly looking for) the dagger, they're going to set off a conflict.  It's small but just complex enough, ripe for a night's worth of drama and action.

I'm going to roll up some practice scenarios.  I'll post them here for posterity and discussion.  This thread is a good idea.

Cheers!
-J

John, that's awesome - you nailed it.

Moreno,

QuoteDo I have to roll the d6 for additional visible effects, or that happen only when I get a Tally during an adventure?

Why do I make late-stage changes that seem so cool? It always ends in suffering.

Let's keep that reserved for later in play. Which offends my sense of rules elegance and application, but doing the opposite is front-loading the sheet too much.

QuoteDo you remember "why these names"? They mean something?

They don't mean anything. They're a perfect example of "olden times generic fantasy Europe" thinking. Even twenty years ago I groaned a little at their Hollywood sound, but I was deliberately writing  a fantasy game that didn't concern itself with the kind of scholarship I was bringing to early-development Sorcerer (the bulk of the literature review for Sorcerer & Sword was already done, for instance).

Today, I find myself reasonably impressed with the names as long as we're talking about "fantasy setting" logic.

Quotethe bulleted entries on the components list...  I wanted to ask if they were examples, or sub-choices, or what. 

Some of them are justifications, to explain why "local tensions" or whatever would be important to the Circle. Some are parameters, especially for Amboriyon and Rbaja - when you get one of those, choose exactly from the listed things. And some are merely clarifiers of what I have in mind.

QuoteLet's keep [visible effects for starting Tallies] reserved for later in play. Which offends my sense of rules elegance and application, but doing the opposite is front-loading the sheet too much.

Could always rule that, just like starting B always 'rolls' a 5, starting Tally effects always 'roll' a 3... ;)

G

Hi all, I'm working on my first Circle adventure.  Here's what I've got so far.  Comments and feedback welcome!

Location: Tamaryon

Component 1: Ordinary local power tensions at a crisis point.
[I really struggled with this.  The Iron Age is so different from present day; my first few ideas didn't make sense in this setting!]

A village divided by a small river, and more than that.  North of the village is grain fields. South is forest: a source of wood, meat, etc.  Everyone in the village helps with tending & harvesting grain, and everyone uses the forest, but people definitely think of themselves as belonging to one side or the other of the village.  They have a friendly North vs. South tournament every year after harvest (no jousting): tug of war, wrestling, wood chopping contest, etc.

The village is in Tamaryon near Famberge.  History of raiding from Famberge.  Now Famberge has enticed the North side to join them, with very generous trade terms for their grain: charcoal, wood, iron tools and meat.  The North side grows wealthy and the South side is looking at a very lean winter.

It started with fisticuffs by the grain tower.  Now there have been some deaths.  Fambergian fighters are billeting in the North side of town.  South-siders are talking about raiding the grain tower for their "share".  North-siders and their Fambergian occupiers are preparing to defend.

Village:  Riyburg.  Forest: Olfwood (wolf wood).

NPCs:

Ludolf Koloman, Chief of Riyburg – now just chief of the South (forested) side.  Gentry.  Graying warrior, once a fearsome fighter.  Big family.  Needs: to remain the chief of the South side at least.  Agenda:  Re-unite Riyburg against Famberge without intra-village violence (killing the Fambergians would be okay).  Modus: talk.  Clout: Long-time chief of Riyburg.  People still turn to him for leadership, through habit as much as anything else.

• "the generous trades make no sense. The Fambergians are just kissing the North side's asses until they can secure their hold on Riyburg."
• "Next year, who isn't dead will be growing grain for Famberge."

Ekka Olfwood (Eckehard), a South-side loudmouth.  Freeman or professional.  Bit of an outsider.  Maybe a coalburner.  He really knows his way around the wood.  Need: to be the bad-ass, to reject authority (especially Ludolf's).  Agenda: He wants bloody violence, and he wants to be chief of a reunited Riyburg.  Clout: He won the wrestling match last year in the North-South harvest tournaments.  He's known as a fighter, and some people think that's what's needed right now.

• "Ludolf's gone soft!  He's too weak to lift his axe anymore!"
• "Talking to those North-side idiots will get us nowhere!"
• "Do you all wanna starve?"

Meinrad Neufeld, Riyburg's miller.  North-side.  Professional (Miller).  Played a big part in recent trading with Fambege.  The Famberge occupiers have set up Meinrad as a puppet chief of the North side. 
Need:...  Agenda:...  Clout:...

Component 2: Hidden Knowledge.
[Still thinking about this one.]

***

I think my Needs are too linked to the Agendas.  Do you think they need to be different/independent?
Other thoughts?

I'll write more tomorrow.  For now, must turn in...
-John

Hi John,

I think the needs and agendas are very good as they are.

As I recall, you only need two NPCs for each component, and if the third isn't coming too easily, I'd say abandon him. You're almost certain to be ascending at least a couple new NPCs during play anyway.

I do think you're reaching a bit and, well, you're "writing" too much. No one has to be as completely detailed as you're making the characters. That's might also be why you're struggling with the second component; you may be trying to work it all together like a Swiss watch. Go back to the setting as a whole and decide what interests you the most for hidden knowledge, then work outwards from there, to NPCs and so on.

Minor point: no one refers to another person or group by region, like "Fambergians," nor can "Famberge" be described in any way as an entity with a policy. It's mere geography and a distinctive accent. People would be referred to by local geography or a community name, and everyone would simply know those things are in Famberge without mentioning it or tagging it in any way.

Heyas,

Slightly non sequitur: Does this harkening back to an older use of the word 'adventure'? Perhaps something like a series of events that could be quite tragic or miserable? Adventure seems a loaded term in this day and age - Adventure holidays, for example.

Hi John,

I was thinking more about this, in the shower this morning if you must know, and I think my post wasn't on target.

1. Hidden knowledge is a little harder than the other components, for sure. I've settled on these as my main uses for it:

i) Technology as in the text example - this could be textiles or architecture or anything else, either old or foreign
ii) Ordinary written work, whether a manual relevant to (i) above, or perhaps literature that illuminates history (well or badly doesn't matter), or hell, even piece of known literature but translated into a different language, allowing for reverse translation
iii) A map!

When I first made that list, I had more grandiose ideas, like magic wells and other mystic things, but later I realized that muddied the waters of #6 and #7. Maybe my current construction is a little too much like "opportunity for Rolke," but there's at least a little difference in that "opportunity" is supposed to be overtly political and trade based.

2. Everyone has a different process in preparing NPCs. Yours isn't flawed - I tend to keep most of what you've written internal, not even writing it down or writing down codewords as prompts to use during play. But what's in the post is all good material.

Best, Ron

Thanks for the feedback Ron.  And if you're going to share what you think about in the shower, let it be about gaming!


Ya I do tend to write a lot of details in my prep, so that later I can remember what I was thinking.  You saw my Dictionary of Elric (http://www.indie-rpgs.com/forge/index.php?topic=30991.0)... ;-)  (Sorry I never came back to tell you how that game went.  I still have a file folder of session notes...).


I'm conscious of not writing in the ending of the scenario while I'm setting it up.  I.e., I make sure I can see at least 2 meaningful choices in the opening scene, at least 2 ways that the PCs could start approaching the problem.  I don't plan for any of them, though.  I don't plan how it will end, of course.  So although I'm verbose, I believe I'm not constraining the players.



For the record, it was only the "Ordinary Local-Power Tensions" that were giving me trouble, initially, because things like inherited titles and powerful houses don't fit this setting.  And I couldn't figure out how a Romeo & Juliet romance would turn a Saxon village into a battlefield.  But I think I now have something that'll work.  I look forward to seeing what others come up with.  I did have an idea for the Hidden Knowledge, and just as you said, it was a magic cave in the woods on the South side (tripwire: the Fambergians find out about it, and so try to take the South side by force), and I was a bit concerned about the potential overlap with Amboriyon Interference.  Maybe it would still work...


Except I'll stop calling them "Fambergians," I'll give the aggressor village in Flamberge a name, and the Tamariyons-- err, the people of Riyburg will refer to them by that.


Callan: I agree, "adventure" has the wrong feel to me.  I've been calling the session prep "scenarios" (have done ever since running Trail Of Cthulhu last year), but reverted to "adventure" here because that's what's in the game text.


Fun stuff!
-John

Ooops, why is my post all spaced out.  Sorry, not intentional.  -J

Here's a new scenario I've worked out.  Any comments and feedback will be welcomed - thanks.  Also, feel free to use it.  I'll post some comments of my own below.

---------------------------------

THE SIEGE OF ROSKILDE

Location: Rolke.  The village of Roskilde.

Intro:
The chief's son Kaspar continues to leads raids on the neighbouring villages, even though the new king has forbidden raiding within Rolke.  The old chief has no control over his son.  The townsfolk are angry about a recent raid that went very badly; several village men, conscripted by Kaspar, were killed.  The villagers are openly protesting Kaspar, and the chief for indulging him.  Things could get bloody, fast.

Component: Ordinary local-power tensions at a crisis point

By the time the Circle knights arrive at Roskilde, the village's palisade is surrounded by a host of armed men.  In his latest raid, Kaspar has kidnapped the daughter of Chief Wolfram of Leck.  Wolfram and the men of Leck have come to Roskilde to demand her back.  Kaspar will only offer to allow Wolfram to attend his daughter's wedding.  Kaspar's father, the chief of Roskilde, can only plead for calm.
The townsfolk, nervously clutching their spears and peeking over the wall, greatly resent bring embroiled in this needless conflict for the ego of their chief's reckless son.  Rallying behind Gebhard, they are just about ready to kill Kaspar and throw his body over the wall.

Friedeman of Gerold, Chief of Roskilde.
Need: to protect his son, to protect his villagers, to keep the peace.
Agenda: to talk his son into giving up Leck's daughter.  Else, to talk Leck into accepting the marriage.  In any case, to solve this crisis through talk.
Clout: he's the chief.  Everyone in Roskilde but his son listens to him.

Kaspar of Gerold, son of Chief Friedeman.
Need: To win every conflict.
Agenda: To hide behind the palisade, and his father, until his  enemies go away.  To continue raiding and defying the new king.  To be the next chief of Roskilde.
Clout: He has 5 men-at-arms who enjoy being part of Kaspar's gang.  They will follow his orders and they have his back.

Wolfram of Egon, Chief of Leck.
Need: To rescue his daughter Ingrid unharmed; to protect his village from Kaspar's raids.
Agenda: To secure Ingrid's return by threat, wits and patience.  He knows that he has the upper hand except in an attack on the palisade.
Clout: He bought 30 fighting men, plus support people.  The king's law is on his side.

Gebhard, Roskilde villager (Freeman: Farmer, Martial (low)). 
Well respected, a natural leader.  He speaks with the conscience of the village, and the people will follow him.
Need: To prevent an attack on the village; to stop Kaspar from conscripting village men for his misadventures.
Agenda: To get Friedeman to control his son.  To show the gentry that the people are united and will no longer die for their folly.
Clout: most of the villagers are behind him.  He speaks for them.

Ingrid: Wolfram's daughter.

Confusing/Dangerous map: The village, the palisade, the grounds outside (partly forested), the besiegers' camp, a secret tunnel under the wall.

Tripwire: If Kaspar is hurt or killed, Friedeman will order an all-out attack – regardless of the likely consequences.

Component: Amboriyon Interference

Friedeman recognizes that he no longer has any influence over his son, so he has summoned someone to help him.  The new "priest" in the great hall – berobed and pleasant, so inspiring to some, so annoying to Kaspar – is a Guide, a White eidolon. 

Hathomas, the Guide (White eidolon). 
Summoned and enchanted by Friedeman.  Friedeman enlisted the eidolon to the cause of saving his son by swearing a White oath: to save his village without recourse to violence.
Need: to convert people to follow Amboriyon.
Agenda: simply to offer suggestions to Kaspar until he repents and embraces the light.
Clout: His suggestions must be followed unless a successful C vs.12 roll is made (unnamed NPCs get no roll).  If wounded, gains Calm Elements and Inspire Throng effects.  If killed, returns the next day.

Confusing/Dangerous map: The chief's many-roomed hall.  If the eidolon is wounded, that room becomes an Amboriyon zone, with all the attendant dangers.

Tripwire: If the eidolon's Inspire Throng power is activated, it quickly (perhaps starting the next day) gathers enough followers to overcome and restrain Kaspar and his few loyal men, and proselytizes at them until they are brainwashed.  Freideman summons more avatars and eidolons.  The village will be on its way to becoming one big Amboriyon zone.

-------------------------

I'd really like to hear how you (yes you) think this can be improved, or where its weak points are.

Some notes:
- I know, I have linked the two components together, against Ron's advice.  Still, I think this scenario can work... probably  The local-power crisis needed a few extra NPCs, and the Amboriyon component didn't really need any.
- this was my second attempt at coming up with a scenario using these two components.  The first one, perhaps I'll post it later for workshopping, I abandoned after I wrote it because I realized that it had one clear bad-guy; which meant there was one "right" solution for the PCs to pursue.  It can be tricky to come up with an ordinary crisis that doesn't have an obvious "right" solution.
- maybe it's not necessary to call out each NPC's Need, Agenda and Clout, but I'm an engineer and I like a formula to follow.
- for place names, I'm looking at Denmark in Google Maps.  To name the eidolon, I googled for a list of angel names.  I'll probably keep both handy during play, along with the names list in the playtest doc.

Thanks,
-John

1. The "needs, agenda, clout" material is not a laundry list requirement. Not all NPCs have to have all three. Those are prompts to come up with something worth playing per NPC, that's all.

2. The components can be linked; in many ways they have to be because they're in the same place, after all. The instructions are not to double-dip NPCs, locations, or tripwires across the components, or to create extra/tightening links between them.

Example: If you have two components, requiring two NPCs each, you need to end up with four NPCs, not with (for example) three because one of them "counts for both."

3. I still think you're doing way too much verbal/visual prep, but that's probably a personal style thing. From my perspective, it almost looks like verbally rehearsing what you're going to say and do at the table. From yours, it may simply be your way of thinking about it, in which case never mind me.

Thanks Ron.  So, by "too much," you mean "more than is necessary," not "this adventure would probably play better if you wrote less," right?

Hoping for comments (and adventures!) by others as well - let's have a conversation about creating scenarios.

Cheers,
J

Quote from: John W on March 25, 2014, 10:13:31 PMI know, I have linked the two components together, against Ron's advice.  Still, I think this scenario can work... probably  The local-power crisis needed a few extra NPCs, and the Amboriyon component didn't really need any.

Ron's clarification above, that the main thing to watch out for is using the same NPC for multiple components, was illuminating to me. I can see how that would obviously limit the number of prepared NPCs, which means less interactions with the PCs and a risk that the PCs won't get sucked into the scenario, as well as remove a set of possible conflicts. By putting all components with a single NPC there's no other NPC for that single NPC to ally with or to fight.

But keeping the components further separated increases the number of options in play. One thing I like about the scenario in the playtest document is the discussion on why the dagger[1] is not already with the wyrm.

One way to this in John's scenario is to say that it's not Friedeman that has summoned the guide, but it's been summoned by someone else in the community. One benefit of that is that how Friedeman reacts to the presence of the guide is determined in play. He could still think it's a good way of disciplining his son, but he could also resent the intrusion into the current situation. Also, if Friedeman has summoned the guide, he's a white NPC wizard with everything it entails, and not "just" the chief. I don't see anything about that in his description. The risk with adding a new wizard NPC is that having three sides in the village (Kaspar, Friedeman, Gebhard, and a white wizard) and one side outside the village (Wolfram) may be too confusing. I rather like the scenario, though, with or without a separate wizard.

[1] By the way, Ron, the list "Professions and social rank" on page 20-21 includes some entries that "The absolute rundown" on page 4 says doesn't exist, for example daggers, short swords, longswords, and so on. Also, I guess that you will use the terms "sword" and "bow" throughout the game, with an explanation that there are no short swords, longswords, or longbows? I like the simplicity of that terminology.

Thanks Jonas, good point about who summoned the Guide.  I went back and forth on that a bit.  My main concern was that adding a White wizard really changes the whole power balance.  Would all these chiefs suddenly unite against the threat of a wizard in their midst?  But... I'm thinking of wizards as being an order of magnitude more powerful than non-wizards, and I probably shouldn't be.  Wizards are limited by having to spend B to cast; and as the book says, wizards who are not buffered by non-wizards don't last long in a fight (I may be paraphrasing ;-)).  Also, how long has this White wizard lived in the village, and why isn't the whole area an Amboriyon zone by now?

Also, I'm liking the idea that a regular person can access magic in a moment of extreme anguish.  This happens in many mythologies: a parent turns herself into a bear to protect her children; someone turns himself into an otter to escape certain death (these transformations are usually permanent); a spurned lover's heartbreak unintentionally summons a helpful(?) demon; etc..  This sort of thing, if allowed, (a) is only available to NPCs, and (b) permanently changes the person in some way.  So I was thinking that the old chief summoned the Guide without actually being a white wizard before that moment.  But maybe that's too much of a stretch of the setting as written...

Still, I like your point about separating the elements of the conflict to create more potential in play.  I will put a White wizard into the mix and see what happens.

Thanks,
-John

My advice.

1. Don't put in a white wizard. "Amboriyon interference" is sufficiently met with a Guide. You really, really should not be locked into immediate plausibility for stocking your adventure, i.e., "But how did the Guide get there," or anything like that. Someone could have summoned it years ago, and enchanted it to stay, and it's been wreaking havoc elsewhere ever since. So there's no reason you have to justify its presence with recent, local causes.

Only put in a wizard if you want a wizard, first thing, the main thing, for the Amboriyon interference. You lit upon the Guide and said, "ooh, I  want one of these," and that is what matters.

2. Try the technique with the cards that I described. I know it seems obvious and unnecessary, but it's neither. It really makes a difference.

You have two components, so that's six cards. Put them in two rows of three. Label every one of the top row "Local power tensions," label every one of the bottom row "Amboriyon." Left to right, the cards of each row are labeled NPCs, locations, and tripwires. Now write in the details for each card.

i. Nothing should be the same vertically. No NPC is found in both rows, et cetera.

ii. If one card is chock full of tiny small writing and another is empty, vague, or seems weak by contrast, then you know you're off balance.

I can see that off-balance from here. You have too many NPCs with too much detail apiece. One of your locations is very broad and vague, being pretty much "everywhere" as far as I can tell.

(Man, five NPCs in one of the components, that is crazy heavy for this game.)

Thanks for the feedback Ron.  Good point about not having to fully justify the starting conditions of the scenario.  I was letting that block me in a lot of places, I realize, not just with respect to the Guide.

I'm re-configuring this adventure in my head, but have had no time to write down the next version.  Ack, real life interfering with gaming.  My plan was to quick-generate a half-dozen or so adventures for practice and discussion before kicking off our playtest on Tuesday.  But Life had other plans!

I'll post again soon.  Cheers,
-John

Here's a rewrite of the last adventure I posted.  Thanks for everyone's feedback, I think it's a lot more usable now.  But I'm still frankly stuck for one of the dangerous environments...

The Siege of Roskilde
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The village of Roskilde, in Rolke. 

The chief's son Kaspar continues to leads raids on the neighbouring villages, even though the new king has forbidden raiding within Rolke.  The old chief has no control over his son.  The townsfolk are angry about a recent raid that went very badly; several village men, conscripted by Kaspar, were killed.  The villagers are openly protesting Kaspar, and the chief for indulging him.  Things could get bloody, fast.

Component: Ordinary local-power tensions at a crisis point

By the time the Circle knights arrive at Roskilde, a host of armed men is encamped outside of Roskilde.  In his latest raid, Kaspar kidnapped the daughter of Chief Wolfram of Leck.  Wolfram has come to demand her back.  The townsfolk, nervously clutching their spears and peeking over the wall, greatly resent being embroiled in this needless conflict.  They are just about ready to kill Kaspar and throw his body over the wall.

Friedeman of Gerold (Gentry), Chief of Roskilde.
Friedeman supports the new king's reforms, and desires to live peacefully with his neighbours.  He hopes to resolve this crisis without violence.  He is well-liked in Roskilde; at least he was until very recently.  He is too indulgent of his son, and has no control over him.

Kaspar of Gerold (Gentry), son of Chief Friedeman.
Kaspar is young, strong, competitive and egotistical.  His gang of half a dozen similar young men follows him faithfully and profits well from his leadership.  He has no intention of giving up Ingrid or his "right" to raid.

Wolfram of Egon (Gentry), Chief of Leck.
Wolfram wants his daughter Ingrid back unharmed, and will do anything to achieve that.  He tires of parlaying with Friedeman and Kaspar across the palisade.

Wolfram and his two-dozen armed men and supporters from Leck are encamped in the forest outside Roskilde, and are waylaying anyone who goes in or out of the palisade gate.  They are not an army, and they don't have the village surrounded, but they are effectively controlling ingress and egress.

Dangerous/Confusing Location:  The forest outside of the village, in which Wolfram & Co are encamped.    The men are spread out so that they can't be easily surprised or surrounded.  They are distributed throughout a bit of an area, amongst trees, rocks, steep hillsides, mounds, gullies, a stream, there's a cliff nearby, probably some wild-animal lairs... make a map.  Fire pits and tents too.  Running through here would be dangerous, especially at night.

Tripwire: If there is an attack on Wolfram, Ingrid, or the camp, then all of the Lecks attack and won't stop until Wolfram and Ingrid are secure or Kaspar is dead and the village is ablaze.

Component : Amboriyon interference

An Amboriyon Guide (eidolon) arrived a few weeks ago, barefoot and in simple robes.  It occupies the old priest's cottage in the south end of the village.  By advocating for peace, it is galvanizing people's anger towards Kaspar and the chief.  By now, it is inspiring non-violent resistance. 

The chief's men killed the Guide yesterday.  Now he has come back, wounds streaming with inspiring rainbow light.  Almost half the villagers are its zealots, and its desire to prozelytize is now focused on the chief and his inner circle.  The priest's cottage is shrouded in clouds and silvery light.

Hathomas, the Guide (eidolon).
Eloquent and conversational.  Focuses on people with Black colour points.  Seeks to induce people to embrace peace, forgiveness, etc..  It already has quite a following.  It desires an audience with Friedeman and Kaspar, to talk them into releasing Ingrid (and giving up raiding, and etc.).

Falk (Roskilde, Freeman: Outdoorsman).
Falk blames Kaspar for the death of his son in the recent raid on Leck.  The Guide has twisted Falk's grief and anger into manic, imperfect devotion to Amboriyon.  It hasn't erased Falk's desire to kill Kaspar; it has only made it righteous.  Where the Guide's rebellion is social and peaceful, Falk's is individual and violent. 

Things the Guide might do:

• seek an audience with Friedeman and/or Kaspar, to talk them into releasing Ingrid (and giving up raiding, and etc.).
• exhort the villagers to follow Falk instead of Friedeman, because the former has sworn an oath to uphold peace between villages
• exhort his apostles to open the Palisade gate, or break down a section of its wall

Dangerous/confusing Location: The old priest's cottage is shrouded in fog and silvery light.  The surrounding streets are a warren-like maze and the huts are full of the Guide's supporters.  The priest's cottage itself is an amboriyon zone that hasn't yet ascended to the clouds.  If the Guide or any of its supporters are attacked in this area, people will spontaneously summon unicorns and/or Valkyrie to come to their defense.*

Tripwire: If Falk is slain, if the Guide or its supporters are openly attacked, or the Guide is expelled bodily from the village, the Guide's supporters attack en masse.

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* The rulebook says that non-wizards can spontaneously summon eidolons (not avatars) near an Amboriyon zone.  But I think having unicorns and valkyrie popping up suits this situation better than more guides, lammasu or silver dragons.  Anyway, I'm just not sure about the dangerous map for the Amboriyon interference component, but I can't think of anything better.

-John