[Circle of Hands] The Key Event

[Chris Bloxham]

Hi all,

After speaking to Ron about the Key Event, I found that I too fell into the too much story category when trying to write one.

Ron suggested posting here to discuss this.

This was the character as written when I asked for Ron's advice...

Hartmut Oswald

Homeland: Rolke
Professions: Entertainer (High), Martial (High)
Demeanor: Friendly
Feature: Emblem (The Black Wolf and Red Tipped Spear of the now extinct Hagan clan)

B: 6
Q: 5
W: 8
C: 8

Traits: Romantic, Cunning

Key Event: A travelling warrior-poet; Hartmut found himself in the employ of Gerulf Hagan of Famberge. Adored for his weaving of tales and skills in the bloody arts against Spurrish pirates, he soon earned a place at Gerulf's table. Katja, the daughter of the chief was constantly spurned by her father and she quietly despised her clan and life. Betraying the clan-hold to brigands, she sacrificed her siblings, committed suicide and invoked Rbaja to be reborn as a Lich. Ancient feuds forgotten, the fighting soon turned to living against undead. The Hagan clan was decimated. Hartmut retreated overland with a handful of Spurrish raiders, then slipped away in the night toward the direction of Rolke.

[Chris Bloxham]

Trying to refine my effort led to this...

Key Event: A travelling warrior-poet; he found himself in the employ of a clan in Famberge. The daughter of the chief betrayed the clan to Spurrish raiders and as the fight ensued, she invoked Rbaja to transform into a Lich. The dead overwhelmed the living and the clan was lost. He retreated with former enemies, then slipped away in the night in the direction of Rolke.

Still way too much story.

[Chris Bloxham]

So, after a night to think on this with some good advice from Ron, I'm starting to think that a sentence or two will really do for this...

My latest effort.

His efforts to cut through the undead massacring his clan prove futile when the daughter of the chief invokes Rbaja to become a lich. Swearing to avenge his kin, Hartmut barely escapes with his life.

Not sure if this is too sparse, but I offer it up for comment.

[John W]

I've been trying to figure out what Ron meant by "too much story, not enough scene" (in another thread).  I think the point is that the purpose of the Key Event is not to explain why your chr became a knight, but to give us an insight into his/her nature.  So, it's not a matter of word count, it's what the Key Event should show us.

Show us your chr acting under pressure, or making an important decision (that has nothing to do with the Circle).  Describe a formative moment - formative of their outlook or approach to life.

That's my guess.

-J

[Nyhteg]

Hi Chris

I'm very interested to see how this subject is expanded.

I've been drawing up some characters and Key Events (which I'm happy to post here for feedback if you like) but of course I don't know if what I've jotted down is on target or not. What I would say regarding the Event you've posted is this: what was the critical moment - the literal scene - and what aspect actually made it Key for the character?

I mean betrayal is perfect but, you know, I figure in the Crescent Land betrayal and injustice is just a fact of life mostly. People will turn on you and use you as soon as it makes sense for them. Especially people in power. If you don't plan for it, you expect it at least, I'm thinking.

So why did this act of betrayal matter more? Why this time?
Was it the fact of the betrayal itself or the means of that betrayal?
Was it specifically the betrayal of the clan or of the character himself?
Or was it the fact that it was specifically the daughter who did the betraying?

What made this event matter?
I can see an obvious possible line in the character's traits and demeanour, but that's just me.

My thinking at the moment is that one thing a Key Event has to do is utterly break something.
A view of the world is destroyed, leaving the character with a single obvious choice.
Alternately, a Key Event could serve to make everything utterly, bitterly clear, along the lines of "Oh my God. I see it now. We have to fight them both..."

Your last version of the Key Event is succinct but what I don't see in any version is why did it matter?
What did your guy have invested? What broke?

The trick is to convey and imply that simply and without saying it in an overtly dramatic, storyish way and conclude it in a single, simple scene.

So, in the example from the draft rules, we have a character using dark magic to defy social convention and risk everything to fight in her dead husband's stead for the people and place she cares about. She triumphs against the demon at the heart of it only to be betrayed by the very people she was trying to save.

So this all matters to her. It all all hurts and is unfair and unjust and cruel and full of loss and against all proper rules of heroic fiction, dammit...and I can totally imagine her recovering from her wounds, looking out over the stinking, blighted ruins of her homeland and saying: "You know what? Screw this shit, I'm joining the Circle..."

Having said that, all of this may be completely wrong headed and misguided, and there could be a far simpler and better way to think about it. 
My guess is that there definitely is and we'll find it out shortly. :)

Best,

Gethyn

[Chris Bloxham]

Thanks John. I totally agree with your statement about the nature of a character, but I also found this below under Playing My Character and the implication is to give reason as to why the character is fully committed to the Circle (and why he became a knight).

The Key Event is unique to the character. It really changed him or her, leading to total commitment to the Circle. It may be over and done with, as the character sees it, or it may be an open psychological wound which an adventure may expose. Look over that Event and remember that to the character, this is now who he or she really is.

In the two examples magic is learned, enemies are fought and/or vanquished and in the case of Krimhilde, she is left for dead after betrayal.

It seems like there needs to be a flashpoint; a trauma or upheaval to push the character towards the Circle. A moment, if you will...

Still not sure if I'm on to anything - just throwing this out there as it comes to me.

[Chris Bloxham]

Wow Gethyn! That's given me a lot to think about. I'll post a little later as I need to digest your insightful words and perhaps have another go at the scene.

[Ron Edwards]

Thanks guys - one of my to-do items today was "start thread about Key Event," and here it is already! And welcome to the forum, Chris!

Looking over the posts, I think rather than go through them by person and point, I'll summarize a bit and see if any questions pop up.

The Key Event should include:

1. One visually-described situation - a location, persons in it, something happening.
2. As the writer sees it, it's the precise moment which motivates the character to join the Circle.

It is not:

1. A back-story with an extended narrative and cast of characters. (It may include a brief contextual buildup but I recommend erring away from this, rather than toward it.)
2. An explicit explanation of the character either in terms of motivation or current attitude.

The 1 & 2 correspond between those two lists. With #1 (across both), you see something happen, but there's little or no motivational or rising-action based arc. The idea is that the reader sees only a climactic moment and knows this must have been such an arc. With #2 (across both), there is no author-to-reader communication. Whenever I write one, I am always strongly motivated to finish it with something like, "Now he fights with the Circle to prevent such a fate falling upon others," or "Now her rage against both sides of the magical war is an unquenchable fire." Don't do it!!

Why not? Because remember, you may not even be playing this character! If it's not the first one you choose, then there's no guarantee you'll ever play him or her, or if you do, whether someone else does so before you. In many other games, writing the character's back-story is a signal to the GM or other players about what you want to do and to see done to this character. In this game, however, the equivalent text is mere raw material for anyone and everyone, with you included but non-privileged. Let every person who plays this character 'finish' the Key Event how he or she wants, and you'll see that with multiple ... hands ... involved, and if played with respect for prior-played details, the whole thing becomes amazing.

You see what I did there?

[Ron Edwards]

P.S. Gethyn nailed it so hard and so centrally I'm going to quote that post directly right in the rules text, with attribution.

[Chris Bloxham]

That's great! Gethyn's post has certainly put me in the right direction.

[Chris Bloxham]

It would be great to see some of your Key Event ideas, Gethyn.

[Nyhteg]

It would be great to see some of your Key Event ideas, Gethyn.

Here you go. These are some characters I rolled up earlier this week.
All thoughts and feedback welcome. They're still a bit flowery and story-ish, but I think they're clear, grippy and cool enough and are left totally open for other people to pick up and play however they want:


NAME: Gernof Luttman
B: 6  Q: 5  W: 8  C: 7
TRAITS: Brave & Ambitious
HOMELAND: Spurr
PROFESSION: Artisan (Smith); Martial (high)
SOCIAL RANK: Professional
GENDER: Male
DEMEANOUR: Fierce
FEATURE: Emblem - mark of village leader
KEY EVENT: Gernof killed an Amboriyon Guide when it manifested in his village and started asserting its powers. Over the ensuing days, however, his people were systematically obliterated - initially through the enthralling glory of the resurrected Guide's cleansing presence, then completely when a local Lich and his retinue rolled up in force up to reclaim the area for Rbaja. The last thing Gernof saw as he fled by river with a handful of survivors was his home and village collapsing in flames into a smoking, foetid haze.


NAME: Oswald
B: 7  Q: 6  W: 7  C: 6
TRAITS: Brutal & Romantic
HOMELAND: Rolke
PROFESSION: Martial (low); Priest
SOCIAL RANK: Freeman
GENDER: Male
DEMEANOUR: Formal
FEATURE: Blaze
KEY EVENT: Oswald was sole witness to the terrifying battle between a Manticore and a Lammasu in the high forest of the Rolke-Famberge border lands. Each of them mortally wounded, the creatures fought to total exhaustion. A wild-eyed Oswald emerged from the splintered treeline to stand over the bodies of the ruined beasts. He took his knife and with a trembling hand drew open each of their throats as they lay breathing their last in the blood-soaked mud.


NAME: Ida
B: 6  Q: 5  W: 4  C: 4
TRAITS: Brave & Cunning
HOMELAND: Tamaryon
PROFESSION: Farmer
SOCIAL RANK: Peasant
GENDER: Female
DEMEANOUR: Friendly
FEATURE: A piece of bright clothing
KEY EVENT: Ida's local nobleman chose to call a pair of Unicorns down from the Cloud Citadels to protect his land from Spurr raiders. They saw off the raiders easily enough, but straightaway turned their attention to the peasantry. Ida's father was killed in the fields before her eyes - stabbed through the throat as he pleaded for his daughter to be spared. The Unicorn shook the dead man from its horn and turned away to join its mate without a backward glance. Ida fled.


NAME: Emmerich of Werther
B: 7  Q: 6  W: 2  C: 4
TRAITS: Brave & Brutal
HOMELAND: Tamaryon
PROFESSION: Martial (high)
SOCIAL RANK: Gentry
GENDER: Male
DEMEANOUR: Formal
FEATURE: Mismatched Eyes
KEY EVENT: Emmerich, in an audacious flash of genius, decided to gain control over a local warlord by learning the spell to furnish him with a summoned Doll. The drug-like aspects of the arrangement were working out perfectly - until a White Wizard discovered the warlord's secret addiction. The next time Emmerich rode out to pay the warlord a visit he found the whole village and its surrounding farmlands had been converted into an Amboriyon zone. Nearly two hundred men, women and children had died there in a single night. Emmerich counted every gleaming, smiling corpse with his own hand.


To me, we see Gernof raw and incandescent with fury, horror and regret; Oswald experiencing an out-and-out, honest-to-goodness conversion to blazing zealot; Ida as a study in shattered innocence; and Emmerich as a noble idiot brought to earth with a sickening thump. But of course, as Ron points out, it isn't actually up to me... :)

G

[Nyhteg]

I'm going to quote that post directly right in the rules text

Wooo! I'm liking this game more all the time... :)

So in creating a Key Event I can see three considerations, in terms of thought process:

1. The change that happens in the character;
2. The specific moment which forces that change;
3. The crystallising of that moment simply and cleanly on the character sheet as a Key Event.

I was starting to compose a post breaking this down in a long, finely grained, thrillingly fascinating sort of a way, but then I had a better idea.

I wonder if this is good advice for coming up with an effective Key Event without getting drawn into story:

1. Write it backwards, one step at a time.
2. Stop writing the second it stops being cool.

So by this I mean, look at the character in the whole - their traits, details, profession, stats, status, everything - and see what kind of single, totally awesome image comes to mind that challenges or reinforces any or all of those. One devastating, emphatic and climactic moment.

Write that down in a single, ridiculously simple sentence with the absolute, most stupid, minimum of information, using the present tense.

Then start stepping back along the logic - what must have just happened -  one element at a time, keeping it stupidly simple, and stop writing the instant it starts to suck.

So as an example, let's have a young, Brave, Romantic, peasant farmer called Ingrid.
She's Shy and Tattooed.

So her courage could be tested. Her social status could be asserted or shaken apart. Her sense of life-as-narrative could be reinforced or broken down. Her reticence could be forged here or, indeed, acted against. The social challenges of her gender could also be central.

Here's the first image that springs to mind.

"Ingrid plunges the knife up to the hilt in the man's chest, turns and walks from the room."

Right. Interesting. What coolness has to have happened just prior to that?
So, how is this event significant?
One step backwards. Minimum information.

"The sacrifice is the chieftain's own daughter."

Wow, cool, where'd that come from? Another step needed...

"The chieftain commands Ingrid to assist him by slaying the sacrifice while he casts the spell."

Ooh. And suddenly...

"Ingrid's chieftain plans to summon and enchant a demon to protect the village from the attacks of a local White Wizard."

Liking it. Any more context needed?

"Ingrid lives in a ---" Nope.
"The chieftain of Ingrid's village is a cruel and brutal--" Nope.
"Over the past few years, the fighting between Amboriyon wizards and the local--" Nope.

Well. I believe we're done.
Bit of spit and polish, bit of smoothing out here and there, and here's Ingrid's Key Event in final form:

"Ingrid's chieftain plans to summon and enchant a demon to protect the village from the attacks of a local White Wizard. He commands Ingrid to assist him in the ritual cave by slaying the sacrifice while he casts the spell. When the cloth is thrown back, Ingrid sees that the sacrificial victim lying in the bone circle is the chieftain's own daughter, bound and weeping. As the chief closes his eyes and lifts his voice in chanting, Ingrid turns and plunges her knife up to the hilt in his chest. She cuts the daughter free without a word and walks out of the cave."

That'll do.
Does that method work for anyone else..?

G

[Nyhteg]

Oh and there's this one too, which is nothing but scene:

NAME: Swanhild
B: 7  Q: 7   W: 6   C: 5
TRAITS: Brave & Brutal
HOMELAND: Rolke
PROFESSION: Outdoorsman, Wizard
SOCIAL RANK: Freeman
GENDER: Female
DEMEANOUR: Fierce
FEATURE: Blaze
KEY EVENT: Flies buzz lazily around Swanhild's head in the flickering torchlight as her gaze moves between the four tight, sunken, grey faces. Lifting her chin she wipes a hand roughly across her eyes, takes three steps backwards out of the doorway and tosses the firebrand onto the thatch.

Enough of me, though. I want to hear other people's take on it.
Chris? What have you got?

G

[Chris Bloxham]

Hey Gethyn,

It will probably be tomorrow. Expect a post of my first and another character!

Chris