[PTA] Jazz or DIE!

[Glendower]

This Tuesday was our "in between" gaming night.  One member was absent, so we decided to put other campaigns on hold this week and play cards.  After about 4 hands of Texas Hold'em, I suggest "trying out" Primetime Adventures. 

I explain the premise, and my four players eagerly began to suggest shows.  Topics and shows began to be thrown around.  Science Fiction, the Prisoner, Oppression, and "mocking a person we can't stand" were some of the suggestions.  I took some advice from the Dog Eared Designs forum, and listed what we didn't want first.  We didn't want uber-serious, and we didn't want anything at all close to Star Trek:Voyager (an odd and very specific unanimous wish).

After 15 minutes of mayhem, we came up with the following show:

Jazz or DIE!

The Premise:  A nigh-Omnipotent being known as Cee-Aich* declares Jazz as the only music for the cosmos, all other musical expression declared "noise".  He imprisons all musical talent from past, present and future upon an asteroid prison, where they struggle to work together to overthrow this evil dictator in spite of different music styles, attitudes, and eras.

I, Jon, took up the position as Director, having been the only person who really read the RPG.

Rob took up the mantle of Gusto, lead rapper of CB4.  His issue is his womanizing ways.  He and his posse Dead Mike and Stabmaster Arson are placed in uncomfortable closeness to their hated Nemesis, Wacky-D from C+C Music Factory.  Will they overcome their long feud and work together?  In moments of contemplation, Gusto thinks back to his time in Low-Cash for inspiration and support.

Dan assumed the Role of DJ V², a Cloned Vampire DJ with Psionic Powers.  His issue is that of respect, and the fact that Vampires don't get much of it.  He is constantly on the lookout for his lifelong enemy Wood, and will destroy it and it's minions at any opportunity.  When in need of inner strength, he thinks of his home, a planet-sized Speaker that uses his psychic powers to transmit the phat beats.  He has the support of his previous Clone, DJ V, and his clone of the future, DJ V³.

Dave dived into Thor-Geddin, a Cyborg Death Metal Guitarist of the Future!  He and his serrated Guitar (referred to as his "Axe") are constantly on the lookout for his hated enemy, that of shitty speakers.  Cheap Knockoffs beware!  His connections to "The Man" and Heavy D attempt to check him from indulging in his urge to destroy and Whale on the Axe.  His biggest issue is that of loneliness, there just aren't any Cyborg women around for him to "interface with". 

Lastly, Wes played G.B. Bounzah, a small furbearing guy from "Here and there and everywhere".  His extremely potent drugs can give him a wide variety of random powers, but also form the issue laden monkey on his furry back.  G.B. is described as "dashing and Daring, Courageous and caring, faithful and friendly, with stories to share."  He is on good terms with the Warden of this place, but his constant enemy is "The Man".

With the pilot episode in front of us, I narrated the opening credits, Where the mighty and evil Cee-Aich* declares all Music save Jazz to be noise, and all musicians from past, present and future are placed upon an asteroid prison.  Miles Davis plays in the background, but as we zoom to this asteroid, we hear Miles Davis get remixed, then mashed up with Public Enemy's "Fight the Power that Be" and Fatboy Slim's "Right Here, Right Now".

The first scene put all protagonists around the Ivory tower that "The Man" lived in, about to hear an important announcement.  The conflicted pitted Gusto and his posse against Wacky-D and his boys from C&C Music factory, in a bid for respect.  G.B. Bounzah tried to stop the two factions from fighting.  The other two abstained from the conflict.  I tossed in some budget, and lost, Gusto won, and G.B. Bounzah lost.  Gusto also won narration, and described Wacky-D and his boys cut down in a hail of gunfire, G.B. Bounzah's cries of "Peace and love!" falling on deaf ears.  The musicians viewed Gusto with admiration, fear and respect.

The next scene was "The Man's" big announcement.  "We have many souls here, but we only have air enough for ten..."

Rob calls out "Gusto shoots everyone around him before "The Man" finished what he's saying.  They ain't taking my air!"

Dave says "Thor-Geddin will trust in "The Man" and whale on people with his mighty axe!"

Dan says "DJ V² will attempt to get someone to eat, and stay away from the bullets. 

Wes goes with "GB Bounzah will attempt to stop the killing spree with words of love and hope!"

We deal, people use their traits, leaving Rob as the winner, Dave, Dan and Wes all losing to my draw.  Dave gets high card, and narrates. 

And his narration is golden.  He describes how Gusto cuts down Renaissance Pianists, taps Ringo and Paul in the back of their messy heads, and how the bullets strike Thor-Geddin's mighty axe, causing him to miss, but the bullets ricocheting into a famous Digeree Doo player nearby.  He describes GB Bounzah dancing between hails of gunfire while using his words of love and hope, and DJ V² losing the lunch he latches onto when several bullets get pumped into his "man-sandwich".  He then goes on to finish off "The Man"'s narration with:

"Ten thousand people, so we should be ok so long as we are careful with....  No wait, don't kill each other, it's not... wait... oh shit.  Maybe I should have phrased this better.  Damnit!  Oh hold on, Is this thing still on?  Where's the damn off button, ah here we go.  Nope, that wasn't it..."

We're all in tears of laughter at this point, as our show has now passed the point of sanity into something completely random.  We imagine the people at Sci-Fi and Fox watching this pilot, and Fox going "...well, there is that gun battle.  That's not bad." and Sci Fi shrieking in anguish, freezing the Film in carbonite and burying it upside down at a crossroads with the words "For the benefit of humanity, do not open" written on it.

DJ V² decides to take this new scene to travel to the top of the Ivory Tower, but is opposed by "The Man".  He decides to mind-control "The Man" and get access to the Ivory Tower.  We resolve the conflict (Does DJ V² used his mind control trait to access the tower and gain it's sercrets?) with DJ V² winning and controlling the narration.  He describes a long ride in an elevator to a huge room filled with turntables, where his DJ powers allow him to rock the house. 

It was decided at this point by Dan that the Pilot is doomed, so he has Dolph Lundgren arrives in a space helicopter with a huge machinegun, and says a pithy oneliner of "You go in pieces!" before opening up on the protagonists.  Thor-Geddon turns to the screen and bellows "we are so cancelled!"

Roll credits. 

The next episode is a test pattern, which DJ V² offscreen declaring the "Boooooooo" sound to be a phat beat, and begins to remix it.  The Test pattern begins to spin around like a record, and "booooo" becomes "Boo boo boo bo oob!" for about 10 minutes.  Then there's a scuffle and silence.

I laughed until I cried during this session, and so did everyone else.  We were able to get some really creative and hilarious scenes done, and though we didn't exactly frame each scene, and weren't too serious about the game in general, everyone agreed that it was a great time.

It was suggested that next time we try for something Semi-serious, and give the rules a little more careful look, perhaps spend longer than 10 minutes on the premise.  But the goal was to get the group bitten with the PTA bug, and I believe I was successful! 

Once I told them tha they had free hand in what happened if they get the high card, so long as it followed the conflict stakes, I had instant understanding and awesome narration from several people in the group.  This game got me so pumped! 

Jazz or Die!

* Our omnipotent bad guy mocks a certain someone. 

[Judd]

Could you describe how and when fan mail was thrown around?

[Glendower]

In the initial conflict, I spent big to put a full five pieces of fan mail onto the table.  Rob got fan mail from Dan for the "They ain't taking my air!" comment.  Dave's narration of the second conflict got him a fan mail from Dan, and Dave gave Dan a fan mail for suggesting the "Man-sandwich".

Dan was given another fan mail by I believe Wes when he mentioned the Dolph Lundgren ending, and Dave was handed a fan mail from either Dan or Rob for the "we are so cancelled!" comment. 

Fan mail flew thick and fast, and I'm likely missing a few exchanges.  I made sure everyone knew the "one fan mail from a person per scene rule" and it went crazy from there.

I was very glad I spent a pile of budget right away to get the ball rolling, and put a pile of bright red poker chips (our fan mail tokens) in the middle of the table.  This was suggested to me in the Dog Eared Design forums, and I'm glad for the suggestion.

I forgot the rule of where spent fan mail that comes up red earns me a point of budget, but we only ran 3 conflicts (showdown with Wacky-D, the "Air Supply", and DJ V²'s rise to "the Man's" level) so it's not like I needed it.  I'll remember the rule when we run something a little less insane.

A few comments after play: 

Me: I wasn't sure you'd want to try it as it is so different from roleplaying.
Rob: What do you mean?  This was ALL roleplaying.
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Dan: I think it would be a lot more fun if we tried something semi-serious.  Semi-serious is about the best we can get with our group.
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Me: It had to have been fun, an hour went by without a single World of Warcraft reference!
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It made for a memorable evening!

[Matt Wilson]

Way cool! Thanks for playing, and thanks for posting!