Armaggedon: First Draft

[Elishar]

Every game creator thinks their game is good, otherwise they wouldn't have put all the time and effort into it.  However, like a parent who has an ugly baby, a game creator often can't see the flaws in his own game.

That is the purpose of this thread.  I feel like I've reached a point where I've written enough that the members of this board can comment on my work but not to much that I am going to feel as if I have wasted my time if everyone can find tons of errors in it.

What I'm looking for with this thread is some feedback on this very rough draft of a game.  Does it sound interesting?  Do I explain the game well?  How do you like the game mechanics?  What do you feel the game is missing?

My game, in essence, is a modern gothic game in which demons exist.  The players in the game can choose to play one of three factions: The Hunters, The Marked, or The Demons.  The Hunters are the enlightened humans who know that demons exist and have dedicated their life to fighting them.  They use intense discipline and a wide variety of gadgets and weaponry to defeat their superior demonic foes.  The Marked are humans who have been infected by the demons.  All human have a bit of evil in them and demons exploit this by supercharging that evil side of humans with demonic energy.  This grants the human demonic powers.  With these powers the human can do things beyond his wildest dreams but with each use of the power the evil within him grows until it consumes him completely and he becomes a demon.  The final playable faction are demons themself.

The game revolves around the same basic rule-set but each faction plays very differently.  Hunter games are more action and investigation oriented with a strong sense of horror and suspense.  Marked games are filled with character conflict and difficult choices.  Demon games revolve around manipulation, cunning, and ambitious planning.  Overall, I feel it has a little bit of something for everyone.

You can read more about my game at my website, which is the first link below.  The second link is a direct link to my game.  Note: The game is nowhere near completion.  Many of the sections and even a few of the chapters have yet to be expanded upon more than a title.
http://ianhardey.googlepages.com/home
http://ianhardey.googlepages.com/Armageddon1.0A.pdf

[Caldis]

I looked at your game and while it looks fine I have to ask why would I play it instead of Vampire?  Sure it's demons and such instead of vampires but in essence it seems very similar with just different names and powers. So what do you feel sets it apart from White Wolf's fully supported line of products with color pictures and detailed books on every different clan and creature you could possibly meet?  I'm not trying to be insulting or demean your work but I do have to say that it has the feeling of definitely been done before and new powers or even intricate webs of demon clans isn't really going to make it feel new.

What I really want to know is what you want to achieve with this game you've designed?  Are you looking to simulate the powers and abilities of demons and see how they interact in the game, something it looks like you've devoted a lot of space in your rule book to, or are you trying to do something else with this game?  What interests you about these demonic creatures and their existance in our world?

[Elishar]

I looked at your game and while it looks fine I have to ask why would I play it instead of Vampire?  Sure it's demons and such instead of vampires but in essence it seems very similar with just different names and powers. So what do you feel sets it apart from White Wolf's fully supported line of products with color pictures and detailed books on every different clan and creature you could possibly meet?  I'm not trying to be insulting or demean your work but I do have to say that it has the feeling of definitely been done before and new powers or even intricate webs of demon clans isn't really going to make it feel new.

What I really want to know is what you want to achieve with this game you've designed?  Are you looking to simulate the powers and abilities of demons and see how they interact in the game, something it looks like you've devoted a lot of space in your rule book to, or are you trying to do something else with this game?  What interests you about these demonic creatures and their existance in our world?

A very good question.  I'm a big fan of vampire myself but I really find the system lacking.  I hope to retain the feel and the flavor of vampire and add an intense combat system that sends your heart racing as much as the horror and suspense that leads up to the combat itself.

I decided on demons because I originally had a variant setting for a superhero game that I created in which superpowers came from demonic origins.  That idea sparked this game.  Demons also seem to be a lot less pronounced in the RPG world then other creatures of the night.

Yeah, in Vampire you feed off humans very much like demons feed off the evil caused by humans.  However, my games goes so much more deeper then just finding a lone person and sucking their blood.  Playing a demon is about driving humans to commit greater and greater acts of evil through manipulation, use of your powers, and role-playing.  It takes evil to a whole new level.

Likewise, in Vampire you can fight your thirst very much like a Marked can fight their demonic soul.  However, there's no reversing the transformation in Vampire.  My game adds an added element of hope to those who wish to fight their curse.  A vampire fighting his thirst can use his powers if he needs to in a pinch without falling deeper into the web of the vampires.  That is not the case with the Marked.  This adds a whole new level of complexity to playing an anti-hero type character.  What if the Marked character is attacked?  Does he use his powers and risk succumbing to evil or does he try to fight or flee using normal human abilities?

Playing a Hunter is also more intense in my game.  In Vampire, you can only be turned by being bitten.  In my game, a Hunter can be corrupted by simply being in the presence of a demon.  Plus, demons have no weaknesses.  They can blend in perfectly to normal society.  That means that Hunters face far more deadly consequences for killing demon because demons need not hide from society like most vampires.  Demons in my game can be fathers, bosses, friends, and lovers of humans.  That makes the call for justice from the human population that much more strong, which makes the job of a Hunter that much more difficult.

[matthijs]

Elishar,

Is this game for publication, or just for the private use of you and your friends? If the first, you need to ask yourself who your target audience is. Because if I read you correctly, the game is in many ways an improvement on Vampire, as a reaction to things you're dissatisfied with.

From my experience as a game store owner, I know that sort of game is very hard to sell. Here's why.

- People who don't play Vampire, aren't going to pick it up.
- People who play Vampire and like it, aren't going to pick it up.
- People who are dissatisfied with Vampire, but not really enough to be bothered with learning a new system, aren't going to pick it up.
- People who are dissatisfied enough with Vampire to change system, will probably have done so already, since there's several other games out there that can help them - GURPS Vampire, Nightlife, etc.
- Of the people that are left - interested in Vampire, dissatisfied with the system, ready to change, and not already committed to another system - there will still be a large percentage that don't share your reasons for disinterest in Vampire.

So you're left with a very small target audience. If you want a bigger audience, make sure the game can stand totally on its own. If, when you explain it, you find you need to refer to Vampire - it's probably not its own game.