ideas to complex for first thoughts but not developed enough for playtesting

[Adam H.]

First Thoughts for Operation Newborn.

Operation newborn is an R.P.G. that takes place in a small country inside of a large crater on an unknown planet. The setting is mid-evil times and the plot is as follows; your mother was a fighter and your father was a wizard. You never really knew your parents because they died when you were in infancy. They died fighting an evil and powerful warlord that has the ability to summon legions of mythical creatures to do his bidding. When your parents died you were found and raised by the village priest and were not told of your parents valor and bravery. What you do know is that for some reason you have excellent fighting skills and the ability to cast magic. Now is the time to put your skills to the test, the village to the west is being attacked by zombies you must do something. The story escalates from there.

   Operation newborn combines a very exiting element of story telling and a very unique style of game play. The fights are designed to be epic and action packed. The most unique angle to the fighting is that if the creature you are fighting is large enough than you can mount it as you fight it to gain an advantage. E.g. if you are fighting a protector, which is a giant reptile-like creature you roll a d20, and based on your ability score and what you rolled you would see whether or not you mount the creature. Then turn by turn you have to re-roll to maintain your foothold and roll to attack. However for this to be successful your storyteller has to be good at telling an exiting story or this gets boring after a while.
   
An example of a character sheet.
Character name

strength   Dextarity   intelegence   wizdom   charisma   
Exp.
Hp.   Mp.

Pack holds 20lbs of equipment
_________________________
Weapon
Weight      dmg.     Speed         type

Secondary weapon
Weight      dmg.      Speed         type

Armor
Type      def.      weight                       Durability        special attributes.

Shield
Type      def      weight           durability        special attrributes.

Belt
Holds 6 small items, ideally potions
Spell book
I'll put out a full list of spells in due time.

That's all for my character sheet for now. This is my first game that I have actually made and played on paper and it had a few ticks and I would like everyone to be honest and critique this as needed and put out ideas that could make this first thought better I would appreciate it all.

Best,
Adam H.

[Ron Edwards]

So you've played this? Yes or no.

Thanks, Ron

[Adam H.]

yes and no. this game is loosely based on a game that i threw together in about a half an hour about 3 months ago, and it is the only idea that i have as of now but i want to develop it more and make it fully playable  without fixing ticks and making up rules as we play. i would use the actual game that i had started to create\play but i don't know where it is and i don't know where to start looking for it.

Adam H.

[Ron Edwards]

OK Adam, send me a private message and I will help you work out what to do.

No posting to this thread until we figure that out; it'll be moved either to Playtesting or to First Thoughts when we do.

Best, Ron

[Adam H.]

sorry Ron but i cant seem to figure out how to send a private message. i checked the help menu and every thing on there about private messages didn't help. should i send you an email instead?

Adam H.

[Ron Edwards]

Click on my name, which will send you to my profile. Then look toward the bottom of the page. You'll see a link that says something like "send this person a private message."

Best, Ron