Social Context

[Jack Spencer Jr]

What isolating behaviors do you practice, in terms of all four questions?

I can't really speak for my group, but a major isolating behavior I practice is that my acquainences usually stay within the context from which I know them. That mean, my friends from work I only see at work. My friends from school I only see at school (haven't seen then for 10 years) And I only see my gaming friends when we're gaming or at least at the game store.

This is true about 90-75% of the time. I hope that helps.

[Mike Holmes]

What's backwards about it? I think everyone else has it all wrong.

Mike

[Ron Edwards]

Hi Mike,

I can't tell what you're talking about, and hence, what you're saying. Can you elaborate a little?

Best,
Ron

[Mike Holmes]

I prefer to role-play over socialize. And I am unapollogetic about it. When I am socializing with people who are potential role-players, I am usually wondering why we're not role-playing.

Mike

[Emily Care]

When I am socializing with people who are potential role-players, I am usually wondering why we're not role-playing.

Ah, but aren't we all always playing some role?  Just bring some dice to a cocktail party and make yourself an npc.  Roll to see whether you smile and nod at a banal comment, or throw a drink in someone's face.

On second thought, that's probably a bad idea. :)

--Emily Care

[Mike Holmes]

On second thought, that's probably a bad idea. :)

Yes, probably.

Note that people who've met me will probably agree with me that I'm not too objectionable when I am socializing. That is, I've grudgingly learned the skill as I realize that I do not live in a solipsistic universe, and as such I need to be able to interact with people in a manner that's, at the very least, innofensive. And, just so people don't get the wrong idea, I don't dislike socializing per se. I can have fun doing just about anything.

It's just that the compulsion to play is huge. Like I said, when I'm with people who are potential RPGers, I have to struggle to restrain myself and not suggest constantly that we go and play. In fact, to give an idea of how strong the compulsion is, I can realte it to my eating habits. Anyone who's seen me eat knows that I'm a big fan of food (pretty obvious looking at me, too; I go about 285). But I'll even give up food for role-plaing if I have to choose between the two. As for sex... all depends...

I like to play RPGs. Not just a little.  :-)

Anyhow. Where does that leave me? Am I wrong for being the way I am? I'll apollogize right now, just in case people think that's true, because I'm not going to change. I like me the way I am. A fat, anti-social gamer.

Whatchagonnadoaboudit?

Mike

[Steve Dustin]

Actually, I think this whole social boxes thing is treading on dangerous ground. It sounds like creating some kind of "game theory" to explain away socially deviant behavior. I think this is really something that should be view on a case by case basis.

I've had almost zero success into turning friends into gamers. Friends I had who were gamers didn't fit my style at all. Maybe I don't socialize enough, but I had to specifically go and search for game groups that fit my style. Now that I'm married and have an 9 month old, I choose to use my limited free time with "gamer" friends to game.

Nobody's kicked me out of their group. Nobody's told me I'm disruptive or a jerk. I just don't have time to do otherwise -- my gaming time is limited to a bi-weekly session at the moment.

Sure, there's crappy gamers out there. I don't think developing a theory around a stereotype is a good way to go about this.

Take care,
Steve

[Gordon C. Landis]

I've been on vacation the last few weeks, and it seems like the Forge is loaded with fasciniating threads.  But this one . . . well, here're my answers and a few thoughts:

1.  My main play group often includes my girlfriend, but other than her, RPGs are our main socialization - not only, by any means, but main.

2.   I've spoken with some other play groups - I've got a co-worker that plays, some casual friends who are SCA folk that know other RPG groups, and etc.  I socialize very rarely with 'em at all, and the RPG content of discussions varies from small to medium.  I do have a fairly large (14-16 people) "extended" play group (sometimes little sub-groupings will spawn a game for 3-6 months), and when we socialize, gaming will come up fairly often.

3.   Most folks I know are aware of my roleplaying, but we rarely discuss it in any depth.  My visit to Gencon this year provided the most fodder for such conversations - people I "knew" through the internet, taking a trip, Ron winning the Diana Jones . . . good conversation-starters.

4. In my rpg play history, my answers to the above have changed drastically.  My junior high/high school D&D (mostly) play was secondary to other socialization, another activity like working on the school newspaper or whatever (yup, I was VP and later P of our Dungeons and Dragons club).  Interestingly, most of the friends I've stayed in touch with from those days were big participants in the game play, though we rarely play together now.

My long and wandering college career involved many ATTEMPTS at play, but none really worked out - as socialization, it lead to me perhaps-unjustly not wanting to hang around with newly-met "friends" anymore.  The experiences were pretty negative, and while I continued to know/find people who gamed, I rarely particpated in it - occasional conversations, definitely secondary to other socialization.

When I moved out to the SF Bay area, I warily started looking again, and it took a while before I'd discuss it easily with non-gamers.

5. I think there's a pretty diverse range of answers in my main group, and a VERY wide range in my extended group.  Everything from almost too sterotypical RPG-focused folks whose socialization is all about gaming and who talk to everyone (or no one) about it, to very peripheral players who spend that one night a month with a play group and never talk about it otherwise.

I also have a group of folks that I'll occassionally play standard card games (Hearts, Wizard, etc.) and/or dominoes with, and it's interesting to compare that set to the RPGers . . . not sure that's the point of this thread, though.

Gordon