Forking the Build and Social Context

[JamesDJIII]

From thread http://indie-rpgs.com/viewtopic.php?t=11705...

Last night I agreed to return to and continue to GM for our Thursday night group. I made several statements earlier to the group about my desire to try out some other games on another night.

Simply put, the sort of games we have been playing, the CA requirements of some of the current players, and the unwillingness to try the new stuff was beginning to chap my hide.

In the pre-game chit chat, one of the player spoke up and said that unless we ironed out our differences, the group would be rended apart.

I was struck by his subtext: as a group of friends we would be finished.

Most recently I expressed a desire to leave the group for gaming reasons, and the idea that the group would disentegrate as friends was staggering. Obviously, the idea that gaming is friendship is alive and well. I have not made any attempt to talk to this person about why he feels this way.

But the whole idea just seems, well, very odd to me, now, sitting where I am.[/b]

[ADGBoss]

James

Were you all friends before gaming? Did you become friends through gaming? Did you become de-facto friends because you felt that gaming with the same five people every Thursday MADE you friends?

If gaming was the crucial element in creating these friendships then I do not think it all that strange that the relationships disintegrate without the lynchpin of gaming to keep it together. As an example, in the BDSM community a couple who participate in these Adult activities might "fall in love" or even evolve a D/s relatiosnhip. So they marry. A few years down the line one or the other gives up the lifestyle and the marriage ends. Why? Because one person obviously associated BDSM so closely with the marriage that they could not imagine the relationship continuing.

Now if you were friends BEFORE gaming and gaming has become a huge part of people's lives, then I would say it is more knee jerk reaction then premonition of disaster.

Perhaps the person who said is taking it all a bit too personally or really does not have much in common with the group outside of gaming.

Obviously I would think a long discussion by the group about the group might be in order.


Sean

[JamesDJIII]

BDSM... er... I think I know what that means. And I can make some interesting mental bridges to what's happening now.

To answer your question, I met all but one of these guys through the current gaming group.

However, I have substantial interaction outside the Thursay night game with most of them, and less so with 2 of them. But the point is, we do have outside, friendship affirming activities. In fact, long ago, I insisted that we do these things to keep us from becoming too concerned about just this kind of "group destruction."

[ADGBoss]

BDSM... er... I think I know what that means. And I can make some interesting mental bridges to what's happening now.

To answer your question, I met all but one of these guys through the current gaming group.

However, I have substantial interaction outside the Thursay night game with most of them, and less so with 2 of them. But the point is, we do have outside, friendship affirming activities. In fact, long ago, I insisted that we do these things to keep us from becoming too concerned about just this kind of "group destruction."

Uhm well in case there are under 18's on here I will not spell out the acronym. lol

Anyway I think it was pretty forward thinking of you to insist on out of game activities.  This being the case my read is that more then likely the player feels frustrated by the game breaking up or possibly breaking up. He (or she) may not be totally comfortable with the current prospects.

Sean