Critique my Exemplar!

[Matthew Glover]

The part of the Capes manual that I'd most like to see elaborated about is Exemplars.  I know that there are no plans for Capes II: Superhero Boogaloo, though, so I'm looking to you folks.

Everybody says allatime that Exemplars are a huuuge important part of play and I still feel like I don't have a very good grasp on them yet.  I'm not so good at building that inherent conflict and I'm especially not good at coming up with Free Conflicts.  I think what I really need is just some further examples.

This is a thread in the vein of the "You Kick, We Bang" threads:

You post a brief character idea and (more importantly) some exemplars.  I'd like to see both the conflict sentence ("Aunt Sylvie is great, but she'd be scared silly if she knew I risked my life as a super-hero.") as well as the Free Conflict.  Bonus points for extra commentary on each exemplar.

We comment on whether the exemplars are good, why they aren't as good as they could be, and how they can be improved upon.

[Matthew Glover]

By the way, I started this thread because of Sindyr's request for critique.

I'll go first:


Character:  Max Millions, millionaire playboy and high-tech crimefighter.  Gadgeteer/Charmer.  If Bruce Wayne hadn't gone through that childhood tragedy crap and had grown up happy instead of whacked and had still gone into the hero business, he'd be a lot like this guy.  (No relation to Astro City's Max O'Millions.)

Exemplars:

Justice - Sally Swann, District Attorney.  "The legal system is a great thing, but too many crooks are going free."  I have a feeling that this sentence really should be more about Sally specifically somehow.  That's probably something that's going to make coming up with a good free conflict more difficult.
Free Conflict: 
Okay, I've got a few conflict ideas here.  I'm not sure which are good.  Please feel free to comment on each of these.
Event: Someone guilty gets away scott free.
Event: Justice is not served.  (These two seem like they should be more ambivalent somehow.)
Event: Sally gets mad at Max.  (This one feels really weak.  It doesn't address the root conflict very well.)
Goal: Max convinces Sally to excuse his vigilante justice just this once.  Again.  (I think I like this one, but it doesn't feel right.)

Love - Suzie Starr, Max's girlfriend.  "I love Suzie, but I'm just not ready to commit to marriage."  Okay, firstly I'm not sure if that's good enough because it's not especially tied in to the whole superhero schtick.  Then again, a bunch in the book don't seem to specifically reference the superheroicness, so I'll go with it for this.
Free Conflict:
Event:  Suzie hints that she'd like Max to propose.  (Okay, this feels really strong.)
Event:  Max proposes to Suzie. (This feels much weaker.  I think it seems like there's less room to maneuver in resolution narration.)
Event: Max and Suzie...hrm.  I want something that can go either way.  If they're currently together, they break up.  If they're apart, they reunite.  I dunno how to do that with a single event.   Now that I think about it, that doesn't seem like a good conflict anyway.  What's conflicting about it?  What's to fight over?  Nevermind, this wasn't well thought out.
Goal: Max convinces Suzie to slow down.  (Okay, I think this is the best yet.)


Truth - Sam Sharpe, Max's girlfriend.  "Sam tells me everything, but I can't tell him everything about me."  This seems pretty good.  Maybe I'm getting better at this.
Free Conflict:
Event: Max feels guilty about lying to Sam about his secret identity.  (Bah, that is weak.)
Goal: Sam finds out Max's secret.  (Okay, this seems good but what happens the first time Sam wins this one?)
Goal: Max doesn't have to lie to Sam. (Right, this seems like an awesome one.  I'm gonna quite while I think I'm ahead.)

[Sindyr]

Will reply more detailed later, but is Max lying to Sam about his engagement to Suzie?  That would be funny - kinda like a combo superhero soap opera... hehe

You know you can create characters that aren't exemplars that are tied to each other?  That you can have Sam *and* Suzie *and* Sally all exist - it's just that only one can be the free exemplar for Max - and depending on your groups Spotlight rules, they may not all be eligible for Spotlight status, meaning anyone could pick them up and play them.

But should I assume that you want one of those three characters to exist and the other two not to?  Or will Max be dating both Sam and Suzie at the same time? Do they know about each other?

It boggles the mind. ;)

[Matthew Glover]

I'm not trying to set up a soap opera here.  This wasn't intended to be "here's big complex situation, what do you think?" thread.  None of these are characters that I intend to use in an actual game.  I'm just trying to get the hang of creating good Exemplars.

This is more like:

Here's a character.

Here's an exemplar relationship and some conflicts, are these good or bad and why?

Here's another exemplar, totally unrelated to the first.  Forget the first one.  Here are some conflicts for this one, how are these?

Here's another.  Forget the first two, let's talk about this one. 

And hahahahah, I totally screwed up on the last one.  That's what I get for cutting and pasting.  It was supposed to be:

Truth - Sam Sharpe, Max's best friend.  Not girlfriend.

[Sindyr]

I noticed that - thought maybe Sam was Samantha....

but your way is best. :)

[Sindyr]

Justice - Sally Swann, District Attorney.  "The legal system is a great thing, but too many crooks are going free."  I have a feeling that this sentence really should be more about Sally specifically somehow.  That's probably something that's going to make coming up with a good free conflict more difficult.
Free Conflict: 
Okay, I've got a few conflict ideas here.  I'm not sure which are good.  Please feel free to comment on each of these.
Event: Someone guilty gets away scott free.
Event: Justice is not served.  (These two seem like they should be more ambivalent somehow.)
Event: Sally gets mad at Max.  (This one feels really weak.  It doesn't address the root conflict very well.)
Goal: Max convinces Sally to excuse his vigilante justice just this once.  Again.  (I think I like this one, but it doesn't feel right.)

I like your last goal - perhaps I should borrow that for the detective in the other thread?  The first one I would like better written like "Event: Someone guilty gets away scott free and Max has to clean up the mess" or something like that.

The purpose of Events is, I think, to see how and why they happen, since we know they are going to happen.  When something is in doubt if its going to happen, then a Goal is more appropriate, as I understand it.

Love - Suzie Starr, Max's girlfriend.  "I love Suzie, but I'm just not ready to commit to marriage."  Okay, firstly I'm not sure if that's good enough because it's not especially tied in to the whole superhero schtick.  Then again, a bunch in the book don't seem to specifically reference the superheroicness, so I'll go with it for this.
Free Conflict:
Event:  Suzie hints that she'd like Max to propose.  (Okay, this feels really strong.)
Event:  Max proposes to Suzie. (This feels much weaker.  I think it seems like there's less room to maneuver in resolution narration.)
Event: Max and Suzie...hrm.  I want something that can go either way.  If they're currently together, they break up.  If they're apart, they reunite.  I dunno how to do that with a single event.   Now that I think about it, that doesn't seem like a good conflict anyway.  What's conflicting about it?  What's to fight over?  Nevermind, this wasn't well thought out.
Goal: Max convinces Suzie to slow down.  (Okay, I think this is the best yet.)

This reminds me of Guys and Dolls, where Adelaide keeps trying to get Nathan to marry her.  Maybe "Event: Suzie demands Max get serious and propose" - which leaves Max trying to figure out how to wiggle out of it, or get engaged and later figure out how to keep the wedding date unchosen...

Also Goal: Max gets out having to set a specific wedding date.  or Goal: Max gets out of getting engaged.

Truth - Sam Sharpe, Max's friend.  "Sam tells me everything, but I can't tell him everything about me."  This seems pretty good.  Maybe I'm getting better at this.
Free Conflict:
Event: Max feels guilty about lying to Sam about his secret identity.  (Bah, that is weak.)
Goal: Sam finds out Max's secret.  (Okay, this seems good but what happens the first time Sam wins this one?)
Goal: Max doesn't have to lie to Sam. (Right, this seems like an awesome one.  I'm gonna quite while I think I'm ahead.)

I think your last one rocks!  That's a great one.

Just some feedback. Hope it helps.  Hope other people come back from the weekend and post on both of our thread to get a wider range of feedback.

[Hans]

Justice - Sally Swann, District Attorney.  "The legal system is a great thing, but too many crooks are going free." 

How about "Sally always plays it by the book, but I won't if a criminal will go free."

Event: Someone guilty gets away scott free.

Nothing specific here, but I want to say a word about the value of "someone/something" events.  I have a friend who is the master of these, and they absolutely rock.  "Event: Someone finds out what is in the briefcase."  "Event: Someone is about to fall to their doom."  "Event: Something happens to Hero X, which changes his life forever."  My experience is that, if used sparingly, these Events are story makers in and of themselves, and people pile on them like you wouldn't believe, because they are so open-ended.

Event: Max and Suzie...hrm.  I want something that can go either way.  If they're currently together, they break up.  If they're apart, they reunite.  I dunno how to do that with a single event.   Now that I think about it, that doesn't seem like a good conflict anyway.  What's conflicting about it?  What's to fight over?  Nevermind, this wasn't well thought out.

How about "Event: Max and Suzie find out something deep about their relationship"?

Truth - Sam Sharpe, Max's girlfriend.  "Sam tells me everything, but I can't tell him everything about me."  This seems pretty good.  Maybe I'm getting better at this.

Is it just me, are are the genders here a bit confused.  Now, if it was Sam Sharpe, Max's Boyfriend, then we are getting into some fascinating territory...

Goal: Sam finds out Max's secret.  (Okay, this seems good but what happens the first time Sam wins this one?)

This one seems really cool, because based on the Comics Code chances are it is gloatable big time.  People will be all over it. 

[Hans]

Is it just me, are are the genders here a bit confused.  Now, if it was Sam Sharpe, Max's Boyfriend, then we are getting into some fascinating territory...

Missed where you addresed it, although I still think the boyfriend angle is by far the most interesting narratively.  It could make another free conflict VERY interesting:

"Event: One of Max's big secrets is about to be exposed" 

but which one?  Will someone gloat over the secret identity, or will Sam finally out Max publicly and point out his womanizing is all a sham? 

[Matthew Glover]

Hans, all of this is exactly the sort of advice I was hoping to get.  All of your suggestions were right on target.

I may do another character/exemplar set tomorrow.  Hopefully some other people will chime in as well.

"Event: One of Max's big secrets is about to be exposed" 

Man, that's good stuff.

[Tuxboy]

Event: Max and Suzie...hrm.  I want something that can go either way.  If they're currently together, they break up.  If they're apart, they reunite.  I dunno how to do that with a single event.   Now that I think about it, that doesn't seem like a good conflict anyway.  What's conflicting about it?  What's to fight over?  Nevermind, this wasn't well thought out.

How about Event: Max and Suzie's On/Off relationship flip-flops again.?

[Matthew Glover]

Yes, that's just what I was trying to say. 

[Tuxboy]

I can see that being a real pain as his mobile goes off and Susie wants to talk about their relationship as he is desperately trying to foil a nefarious plan ;)

[Sindyr]

That sounds funny! ;)

[Matthew Glover]

New character, new exemplars.  I think I'm gonna do this one at a time.

Thomas Mercenary, product of a government experiment in tapping into psionic potential.  Left The Project on bad terms.

Exemplars:

Power - Agent Seymour Roth, assigned to convince Thomas to return to The Project.  "Agent Roth has the information I need to understand my abilities, but wants me under the Project's control."
Free Conflict - Event: Thomas decides whether to trust Roth. 
Free Conflict - Event: Roth reveals information about Thomas.
Free Conflict - Goal: Convince Thomas he needs us.

All of these seem okay, but not very strong.

[Sindyr]

I assume that in actual play you would only choose one of the above, since as I recently found out, we only get one free exmplar per character, not per drive.