It is Hard to be a Player

[Yokiboy]

Hello,

I have learned that it can be really hard to be a player.

I have been game mastering every campaign I've played in for the past 21 years... until last week.

Thanks to FindPlay (which by the way doesn't resolve for me at this time), I met up with two very cool gamers in Stockholm, Sweden. I live roughly half an hour south of Stockholm, and was very excited to get to play more Story Now games.

First some background.

About two years ago I shocked six of my best, and closest friends, by abruptly ending a long-running D&D campaign. At that time I had just devoured Sorcerer, actively joined the Forge after a year or so of lurking, and was checking out every indie game I could lay my hands on.

In an attempt to appease my friends I hosted one more D&D session to tie together all loose ends and wrap up the campaign. This was kind of humorous as I finally spilled all my plots and plans, which left my players ravenous to continue playing the campaign - quite the opposite of what I intended.

Three of the six agreed to try Sorcerer with me, but I have documented how that game tanked elsewhere. I think I was much to pushy about the whole Story Now thing, didn't actually sell my players on the game, and finally tried to do the "perfect" prep. Man did this feel wrong!

I left D&D, and other "regular" games, behind in order to get away from all that time prepping without it paying off in the story department. Here I was doing the same thing again. I had to do something else.

So, I had just read FATE and knew that my players loved the FUDGE one-shots I had run for them before. So I sold four of my friends on a short FATE campaign. I used all the tricks from Sorcerer to set it up.

The game worked on many levels, but the biggest thing was that the prep work was completely effortless. I had stolen the R-Map and basic conflict ideas from a book. The players made up their own Kickers, and we agreed that since they were playing 5-Aspect characters they would also come up with five NPCs each, one tied to each aspect.

I simply took the NPCs and mapped them to the R-map and away we went. I read Sorcerer & Sword in preparation for the game and presented just the outline of a setting. This was to be one of my greatest choices ever, as the freedom of the setting opened all of us up to gaming our asses off. GM'ing the Sorcerer-way rocks!

We played about five awesome sessions of FATE, until in the last session we played we had a very anti-climatic fight scene, which sort of bummed us out. I think I was perhaps to aggressive with the scene framing or something, cutting in and out of the fight, but in hindsight it wasn't all that bad, but people decided that they didn't like the FATE combat rules. So we stopped. Boy was GM'ing still a thankless job.

Next I convinced two of the friends who I had played FATE with, to try Primetime Adventures. We designed a series that we called Seekers. Again, the prep work was unnecessary, but I still fiddled with some crap before realizing how unimportant it was. At this stage I was convinced that the Sorcerer-way of gaming was the only way to do it, so I probably messed about too much for a PTA game. Damn GM'ing is tough!

Once we got the game going, I quickly realized that beyond prepping for the opening scene as the Producer, I really just had to enjoy the ride along with my friends. The game produced one of my favorite gaming moments ever. Where my friend Lars, a self-proclaimed simulationist/realist, had a scene in which his character kicked a drug habit and it left us all breathless! Wow, GM'ing the right game, and following the rules at that, isn't so bad.

Of course it was not meant to be. In the final episode of the season we had a few scenes that went outside the Premise/Franchise of the series, i.e. what we had agreed on during the pitch. Instead of stopping the action and discussing the matter then, we played on until the three of us couldn't handle it anymore and gave up on the game. It was a shame really, and could've so easily been avoided. Yup, it's still hard to be a GM.

Now the three of invited a new guy to play The Riddle of Steel together, in a version of Paka's The Vault setting. We overcomplicated things by trying to use the ideas in Legends of Alyria on story mapping. This would've been alright in and of itself, but the first scene we played ground to a halt as the new guy got butchered, and instead of dealing with it, and allowing him a chance to pick another character from the story map, we rewound the tape. This took all the tough choices out of TROS and within an hour the game was total blah. Heck GM'ing is tough, even when you try to cut someone some slack it can go wrong.

A couple of us would meet to play TROS, and I think our enthusiasm got the interest of our old D&D buddies. So we got the whole D&D gang back together and converted their characters to The Riddle of Steel. We had so much fun actually thinking out Spiritual Attributes for a gang of rather bland D&D characters (my opinion). Damn did they come to life in TROS! My life as GM was good!

I did neglect to see one thing on the horizon though. The fact that some of these players were completely happy with the way we had played D&D - a heavily drifted sim nightmare. They turtled up in face of all the hard choices that TROS brings to the forefront. We had several outstanding moments, but in the end we had one bad session and when we tried discussing why it all broke down. Now I was confused.

Then we didn't game for a while. We talked, e-mailed, I occasionally ran into one or two of them, but we didn't game. Until my friend Lars (the self-proclaimed sim/realist guy) once again got the urge to game and contacted me. His friend that had joined us for TROS also wanted to game. I contacted one of our D&D buddies that had voiced interest in trying some Story Now games, and he brought his brother along.

We had a meet-and-greet, and bounced game ideas of each other. I was shocked and ecstatic when the gang settled on Dogs in the Vineyard! So I was to GM DitV for two friends, and one guy I had just met once, and another whom I had played one failed game with. It sounded intimidating.

Vincent's wonderful game design came to the rescue! We played 12 hours of Dogs! 12 frickin' hours! It was the best gaming of my life!

Lars and I were walking back home at 3 AM in the morning, and we were both floored by how the system forced story out of us. There was just no escaping. It was a great experience and this whole Story Now business just seemed to click for me finally. Perhaps gaming will be easier from now on?

Well, one guy moved. Another got a new job and a girlfriend in another town. Lars picked up paintball again, and I always have my family to consider. In short gaming looked like it just wasn't on the horizon.

This is when I heard from Anders and Jonas through FindPlay. Anders and I exchanged a few e-mails, which resulted in a face-to-face meeting at a neutral setting. We had a great chat. It was awesome talking indie RPGs and theory with two cool guys who actually understood all my ramblings. We decided to get together and game.

The first game was to be Primetime Adventures. The series was called FALL. Sadly this is when I learned that being a player can be just as damn hard as being a GM, but I'll cover that in my next post.

TTFN,

Yoki

[Yokiboy]

Hello again,

I am about to follow up on my monster post of a background story.

For those of you who are skipping ahead (I don't blame you), I can summarize the above with the following: I have had a somewhat frustrating trip down Story Now lane, but am enjoying every experience and cherishing every glorious scene. I have also concluded that GM'ing is hard no matter what Creative Agenda you have, it is just hard in different ways.

So now I met with Anders and Jonas. We met and Anders' home and he was kind enough to treat us to dinner. We had a great meal and chatted about games non-stop throughout.

Afterwards Anders wished his kids a good night, and we started pitching Primetime Adventures show ideas. Anders was the Producer. Holy cow! I was actually going to be playing, not game mastering!

We ended up with a series that we called FALL. The premise was summed up as: Ex-convicts struggling with the temptations to fall back on their old ways.

For some reason I couldn't really picture in my head what a given episode would be about, but even more shocking I didn't make this point clear. Ugh, gaming shouldn't be this hard.

I was psyched about my character, Harry Tomko, and really enjoyed Jonas' Kyle McMillian character. Yet, the show Franchise was not clear to me. I'm not sure if it was because of some stupid, "I don't want to be burdensome" feelings that I didn't raise my concerns, but I didn't. Stupid me.

We met a week later to play the first session. Harry had Screen Presence 2, and Kyle 1. Anders set up a great opening scene with my connection Bobby Young. Bobby and the Milton Kid where sitting in an alley opposite of Harry's bar, Dark Horse, in a stolen car. In any event the scene sparked, and led to a few follow-up scenes that were brilliant.

Meanwhile Kyle got off the Greyhound bus and had a few cool scenes himself.

Now I got this crazy hang-up that we weren't really playing a series with an ensemble cast, and started thinking of what our Franchise really was, etc. Basically I was scared shitless of being a player!

Hell's bells it's not as easy as I expected! And in fighting my game master instincts I basically clammed up. Instead of voicing my scene ideas, cool plot twists, and concerns with things that didn't work for me, I shut the fuck up about it! Damn, I should've read the stupid book again prior to the game; it is all laid out there in black and white.

Unfortunately I didn't even go home and reflect on the game before sending Anders and Jonas an e-mail containing my frustrations with the way I played the game. I honestly had a very good time playing with them, even though I vented my frustrations in the wrong way and made it sound like I just hated PTA – emphatically not the case!

As becomes evident from this thread I can be quite wordy, so I quickly confuse and frustrate the hell out of Jonas and Anders. FALL is dropped as a game, but they're at least nice enough to suggest a game of Polaris.

I hope I can be a better gamer all around next time. Not just a better player, nor GM, but a gamer. Listen to the others' ideas, and voice my own. Pay attention to the game we're playing and most of all have FUN!

I can be much too serious in my gaming.

Perhaps Anders and Jonas will voice their own views on what transpired. My previous gaming buddies don't frequent the Forge, but I will send them this thread, and perhaps...

I'm not sure I'm after any specific kind of feedback, but it has been damn therapeutic to document this. If you want to share your own experience in starting out with indie games, that would be cool. If you have questions or comments go ahead, I'll do my best to reply.

Thanks for reading.

TTFN,

Yoki

[Yokiboy]

Hello,

In conclusion I can definitely say that Story Now gaming is what I've always wanted, and tried to get out of my roleplaying. Unfortunately the Gamemastering Seminar that I attended at Gen Con as a teenager, along with every GM's advice section hasn't exactly helped.

I still have a long way to go in order to unlearn how I've played for almost 20 years, and even if the road is bumpy it is so totally worth it. I now have games that are so cool even my wife, dad, and other people that have previously shown no interest in roleplaying are asking me about the cool books.

I am amazed at how well designed Dogs in the Vineyard is and learned that restrictions really breed creativity. This is also why I believe that a well-designed PTA show will work a lot better, as long as everyone is on the same page with the pitch.

TTFN,

Yoki

[James_Nostack]

Yoki, if it's any comfort, it is hard to be a player in these games, especially if you're used to GM'ing.  In most of these Story Games, a large part of play consists of hammering the players with uncomfortable situations. 

I was a player for the first time last November, when we started a PTA game.  Every time it was my scene, I choked up, and felt a ton of stress.  I cared so much about my character, and I dreaded the things we would need to do to her in order to get the best possible story. 

[Yokiboy]

Hi James,

Thanks for the post, and yes, it is comforting.

I didn't react quite the same way, but even though I knew we were playing a Story Now game, I sat there thinking "hmmm... what's the Producer up to, should I run after the McGuffin?" It was weird, and hard to put words to, but I felt conflicted. I was guessing at the Producer's plot, when we were all creating it together.

You're absolutely right about liking the character a lot, perhaps too much. I too fell in love with my character, and I think I started playing him on paper prior to the game. This is probably normal as it was my first personal character in a campaign in 21 years!

Have you had more play experiences since? How did the PTA season shape up for you, did it get easier?

TTFN,

Yoki

[James_Nostack]

Unfortunately the PTA game fell apart due to unrelated issues. 

My only other experiences being a player came from an on-line game of the Shadow of Yesterday, where something mildly similar happened--a really likeable character who ended up going through a mid-life crisis, which I found distressing but also kind of entertaining.  (I suspect the "coldness" of on-line play made it easier to take.)

I also played Trollbabe for a session, and didn't run into the problem at all.  I liked the character and think she was pretty damn cool, but didn't identify very strongly with her. 

I suspect part of the problem with games about personal "issues" (which is what PTA and SOY are) is that the player has to perform a couple of contradictory tasks.  The player must be the actor, portraying the role.  The player is also a screenwriter, shaping the story.  And the player is also the audience, enjoying the show.  Sometimes, we really enjoy seeing a likeable character get embarrassed or emotionally hurt--but when you're creating, suffering, and savoring the distress all at once, it can get a little overwhelming.

[Alan]

Hey Yoki,

I was producer for an early play-tested of PTA.  Back then I hadn't run many low-prep games.  After each episode, I decided to prep even less than I had for the prevous one.  Games worked better with less of my old-fashion prep ideas.  In fact, I recall disapionting Matt (as player) when I actually used the old fashioned "GM withholds NPCs agenda technique and keeps a plot twist secret" technique.  The more I played, the more I realized it was better to just tell players my suggestions for complications.  The less I kept secret as GM, the better the episodes seemed to run.

Use the scene requests and conflict system to assert your own vision (or those player's suggest).  Oh, and invite input from others when you find yourself stuck.

[PrimeTime Adventures]: Spacehunter -
http://www.indie-rpgs.com/forum/index.php?topic=10716.0

[Web_Weaver]

Hi Yoki,

I am only just starting on this path myself, so I read your post with interest, in order to learn from other peoples mistakes.

But I just have to say something, you even touch on this in passing in a slightly different context:

Pay attention to the game we're playing

From your GM post I would say:
It is easy to pick and choose bits that appeal from various games, especially when they are self contained modules that can be moved into play easily. But, it is wise to playtest a new game before tinkering with the rule set no matter how subtly. It usually takes multiple sessions to fully realise the way the rules work, without complicating them with added modules or preconceptions from other similar games.

From your player post:
You are far too hard on yourself, these threads can encourage self reflection and introspection, but remember how long it took you to fully appreciate D&D rules and style.

The Story-Now games appear simple - they are not, they are just efficient in design. Take Polaris, I have just read the "simple" rules and I figured hey this is easy, then I listened to the recorded sessions over at http://havegameswilltravel.libsyn.com/ and realised that the game was full of complexity that I had not seen. (They take over 4 sessions to "get it".)

Good luck with the Polaris game, but don't expect it to click straight away, and try to avoid comparisons with other games.

[Yokiboy]

Hello,

Web_Weaver, you're correct. Nice post, and I am aware of being too hard on myself. I am a detailed-oriented perfectionist and control freak. Sounds like someone you'd enjoy being around huh?  :D

Honestly, I found that the hardest thing with playing with my new friends Jonas and Anders is that they're old friends, while I have now met them four times. It is very difficult to roleplay with people you don't know, or trust 100%.

With my personal friends, and hometown gaming buddies the atmosphere is a lot more relaxed, but as we've known each other for over 20 years, that's a given. With Anders and Jonas I still don't quite know what's acceptable or not, and get frustrated with myself for not hitting them with bangs out of some sense of f'ing politeness.

The first session of Polaris was awesome! We had a pretty intense discussion regarding some rules, specifically regarding how to use "But it was No Matter" and "We Shall See What Comes of It", and transitioning into a conflict. We cleared it all up though and it worked just fine afterwards.

I too was actually pleased that it could take Paul Tevis' group 4 darn sessions before groking the rules. It made my progress and difficulties seem much more normal. Thanks Paul!

If things keep on progressing on the same pace as it has over my first three sessions with the new group, we will be just fine. I really can't wait to play the second session of Polaris, and hope to get some time to prep a couple of bangs.

TTFN and thanks for posting guys,

Yoki

[Web_Weaver]

Glad Polaris worked out OK, I am envious, hope to play this very soon but not sure who to get involved as it is very different to my normal group's style. I am tempted to start with non-roleplayers. I have a feeling that it would work well, a little like the card game Once Upon A Time which I find some gamers just don't get but others, including children, get instantly.

Would love to see an actual play post of your Polaris session (no pressure, just interested). Specifically the style of game played and which phrases were emphasised.

[Yokiboy]

Hi Web_Weaver,

I will try to do an AP write-up, just need to find the time.

I think Polaris should work really well as an introductory game for curious parents, relatives, and friends that have no previous RPG experience, or think D&D is too geeky.

Best of luck,

Yoki