[Silence Keeps Me A Victim] How to properly use metaphor.

[dindenver]

Hi!

So what is the game about?

I'm glad you asked. Well... sort of glad. It seems that every time I try to answer that simple question I say a different thing. This either means I'm very inconsistent or very creative. I'll let you figure that out for yourself.

Silence Keeps Me A Victim, is an attempt for me to draw attention to an issue that's plagued me. As a child I was a victim of sexual abuse and rape. That still causes me problems, but is really only a secondary issue for this game. The game is an attempt for me to stab at the silence I feel is pressed on me by society, with the only creative effort I feel qualified to raise, a roleplaying game.

  I'd drop the whole first paragraph, personally. I think that it is perfect for a forum post or in chat, but not so much in the printed word. Because each copy of the game will say the same thing, and by the time you publish, you will have this message hammered out I think.

  The second paragraph seems spot on. It makes the metaphor plain, without causing undo pressure for the reader to have to "get" what you are saying or to play the game your way. I do agree with Simon that if you do feel the need to punch it up, add more message in the vein that he describes (i.e., There is no wrong way to understand this and/or play this game). But you have a solid foundation for that very message and if you don't change it, it is still a good, clear message.

  Kudos to you for making this game and finding the courage to talk about this in a open and frank matter! Keep up the good work man!