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Started by lumpley, September 03, 2007, 09:29:53 PM
Quote from: lumpley on September 03, 2007, 09:29:53 PM If you weren't at the table with us, then some of it, the best parts? You just don't get to know.
QuoteThis reminded me of some child abuse case studies I read in a developmental psychology class.
Quote from: Matt Wilson on September 05, 2007, 03:48:55 PMOh noes!So yeah, I've been thinking ever since Gen Con if I'd want to talk about this game publicly, not because I feel bad about it but because it was kind of a personal experience. Like V says, some of it just isn't shareable.I was in this play, long ago, where I played an ugly character who raped another character in a scene. It was ugly and powerful and always left me feeling unpleasant afterward. Not regretful, but unpleasant. That's sort of how I felt about the game afterward. I was like, wow, that was powerful, and erg, it was horrible.So here's something: right off the bat I thought, I'm going to cross my own lines. I'm going to take this game to 11--the bad 11--for myself. I wrote down a name, and then thought, holy shit I can't do it and crossed it out and wrote a different name, then thought for fucks sake didn't I just say I was going to cross my own lines? so I re-wrote Cuntface as my character's name and it set the tone for my voluntary discomfort the rest of the way.There's something really unsettling, at least for me anyway, about horrible fucked-up kids (The American Me, anyone?). so I played a 14 year old, the ship's boy, and that was what everyone called him, because they were all horrible too and he was being raised by them to grow up to be horrible. It's funny, in the not-funny way, that nobody was ever in scenes with him. It's like the idea of this character as a product of all the pirating evil was best kept at a distance. Except when Rich wrote himself into CF's backstory--which holy crap did that make us all squirm. And the attempted castration scene, which actually stirred up this panic in me, like I couldn't bear to see this poor fucked up kid suffer one more thing.The part in hindsight that makes me laugh (uncomfortably, I mean) the most is when V nudges me, and without speaking points (desperately?) to the text that says "you can retire the character if he or she becomes too despicable to play." Yeah, no. There was coming of age to be had still. Horrible, horrible coming of age.