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Author Topic: [S/Lay w/Me] Settings!!!  (Read 3257 times)
Meme
Member

Posts: 14


« on: May 18, 2010, 10:17:37 AM »

Hi!

I'm Meme, and i Played like 15 Adventures with this game, in 5 days! :O
Each Adventure was in a different Location, and so i tried all of them.

Well, i like this game a lot, and so i made(with the help of some friends) some settings for it.

Settings:
The Primal Pool, where gods are Forged / The Hydra's Den, in which ravines legendary creatures tread / The Submerged City, its people sleeping in the deep / The Western Seas, in which every island holds a threat and a treasure / The Limbo, where the Nowhere fills everything / The Syrial Waterfalls, flowing with a moan / The Magnificent Alexandria, clean and wondrous on the outside, foul within / The City of Machines, where math rules/ The Dark Forest of Oblivion / The Platinum Spire, house of the last Warlock / The 3000 Years-long Warfront, where two peoplehave been fighting each other for Aeons / The Shadow Temple, in which obscure adepts study the lost arts / The Fallen Devil, whose dormant body forms a valley.

I thought that they could be interesting for you, am i right? Cheesy

I hope that you can enjoy them with this awesome game!

And, Ron... Do you think that they can work? I will like to read your answer ^^

Ah, and as always, sorry for my terrible english, i'm italian ^^

Read you soon!
Meme

P.S.: We are making some characters too, stay tuned! ^^
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Emanuele Borio, I'm italian, and my English sucks, beware.
Meme is my real Byname, not a Nickname ^^
Ron Edwards
Global Moderator
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Posts: 16490


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« Reply #1 on: May 18, 2010, 10:30:13 AM »

Hello,

Wow. I am not sure really what to say, except thank you!

At first glance, half or more of your location descriptions don't add enough to the location name. For example, the title and phrase for the Hydra's Den are saying the same thing. The Limbo could also probably use a different description, perhaps, "Limbo, where no one may exist" or something equally philosophically-bent. The Western Seas don't add anything that we don't already know from the basic game rules.

As I see it, The Primal Pool, The Submerged City, The Syrial Waterfalls, The Magnificent Alexandria (although I'd change the name to something ahistorical), The City of Machines, and The Fallen Devil are all ready for play. For the others, I'd change the phrases either to a key visual element or to an inhabitant or event which is not obvious from the name itself.

Best, Ron
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Meme
Member

Posts: 14


« Reply #2 on: May 18, 2010, 11:01:14 AM »

Yay!

Thanks for the answer, Ron, is so much useful!

Ok, understood. I will try to change something shortly.

Thanks a lot!

Read you soon!
Meme
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Emanuele Borio, I'm italian, and my English sucks, beware.
Meme is my real Byname, not a Nickname ^^
Meme
Member

Posts: 14


« Reply #3 on: May 18, 2010, 12:04:08 PM »

Ok, let's see. We tried to change something, I hope that this is better ^^

The Western Seas, as clear and dangerous as the eyes of a beautiful woman / The Hydra's Den, among which ravines legends tread / The Limbo, where nobody may live / The Syrial Waterfalls, flowing with a moan / The Magnificent City of Genotha, clean and wondrous on the outside but foul within / The City of Machines, where math rules/ The Dark Forest of Oblivion, where the fairies dwell / The Platinum Spire, house and grave of the last Warlock / The 3000 Years-long Warfront, its soil soaked with blood / The Shadow Temple, in which obscure adepts study the lost arts and virgins die in sacrifices / The Fallen Devil, whose dormant body forms a valley.

Better? Cheesy

Read you soon!
Meme
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Emanuele Borio, I'm italian, and my English sucks, beware.
Meme is my real Byname, not a Nickname ^^
Ron Edwards
Global Moderator
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Posts: 16490


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« Reply #4 on: May 18, 2010, 05:25:58 PM »

Oooh, almost perfect! Here's the single change I'd suggest:

The Shadow Temple, in which virgins study the lost arts and obscure adepts die in sacrifices

Best, Ron
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Meme
Member

Posts: 14


« Reply #5 on: May 19, 2010, 03:37:19 AM »

Yay!

Thanks, Ron. Now we have a lot of settings to explore Cheesy

Well... With the book's Settings i can play indefinitely, but a longer list is better ^^

Read you soon!
Meme
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Emanuele Borio, I'm italian, and my English sucks, beware.
Meme is my real Byname, not a Nickname ^^
Christoph Boeckle
Member

Posts: 455

Geneva, Switzerland


WWW
« Reply #6 on: May 20, 2010, 03:27:06 AM »

Nice! Good job Meme.
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Regards,
Christoph
Meme
Member

Posts: 14


« Reply #7 on: May 20, 2010, 09:47:58 AM »

Thanks, Cristoph!

I'm happy for that! Cheesy

Well, here are adding characters:
I am a poor ploughman, attuned with the rhythms of nature, but my family has been imprisoned by the king / I am the daughter of a mighty queen, womanly and charming, but I can freeze your heart with a mere gaze / I am the temple warden, I see past and future alike, but the woman of my life lives only in my dreams / I am an angel cast on earth, my touch can return one's life but I will never be able to reach again the heaven I came from / I am a vampire, my gaze can conquer countless maidens, but I long for the warmth of sunbeams on my flesh / I am a sea dweller, bearing jewels made out of pearls and coral, but outside of the water I would choke in an instant.

Read you soon
Meme
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Emanuele Borio, I'm italian, and my English sucks, beware.
Meme is my real Byname, not a Nickname ^^
Mauro
Member

Posts: 3


« Reply #8 on: May 20, 2010, 01:40:53 PM »

Hi Ron!

I played S/Lay w/Me with Meme this evening, and I really enjoyed it; I hope to be able to play it again tomorrow or on Saturday.

Here my two cents:

Locations:

The Mirror Lake, where persons forget their sorrows  ? The Crystal Mask, where nothing is as it looks like  ? The Stone Forest, whose inhabitant disregard each other  ? The Ancient Factory, where mechanics rules over life  ? The Outer Zone, where a girl is lost  ? The Sun Court, after the Slaying of the Queen  ? The Moon Court, waiting for his King  ? The Eclipse Court, mourning his Prince  ? The Memory Dome, in which Halls all is retained, and all is forgot  ? The Halls of Life, where death is spread  ? The Lost City, broken by Civil War  ? The Green Planet, whose King was overthrown  ? Under the Unending Rains  ? The Dancing Hall, where it seems everybody is enjoying themselves  ? The Green Lands, where the Sun shine over an impending threat (next location!)

Characters:

I am a young men, attractive and skilled, but I don't dare to open my heart  ? I am a Demon Prince, a Kingdom under my rule, but I crave human warmth  ? I am the daughter of the Moon, blessed by her gifts, but I'll never be able to see her again  ? I am the Herald of the Sun, strong with his brightness, but my hands burns the life  ? I am a waylander, knower of the lands, bu no one trust me

Soon I hope to post the actual play of my game with Meme.
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Meme
Member

Posts: 14


« Reply #9 on: May 20, 2010, 01:44:33 PM »

Yay Mauro! Thanks!

Oh, Ron, he is the Mauro of INC, do you remember him? Tongue

Our game was very funny, with the Montser's daughter leaved with him at the end ^^

I will write the Actual Play shortly, don't worry Cheesy

Read you soon
Meme
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Emanuele Borio, I'm italian, and my English sucks, beware.
Meme is my real Byname, not a Nickname ^^
Ron Edwards
Global Moderator
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« Reply #10 on: May 27, 2010, 06:47:37 AM »

Hi guys,

I am going to be a bit harsh this time, with any luck in a helpful way. There are a lot of problems with your proposed lists, and I think you're getting a little bit distracted by the standards of previous fantasy role-playing games, especially the concepts of races and skills.

Meme

I am a poor ploughman, attuned with the rhythms of nature, but my family has been imprisoned by the king - too situational; this is front-loading a specific Goal into the character's definition. Perhaps "... but I can no longer shut my eyes to injustice."

I am the daughter of a mighty queen, womanly and charming, but I can freeze your heart with a mere gaze - the first problem is that the definition is gendered, which is an absolute no-no for this game. The second problem is that there's no inherent tension. She's a princess, she freezes hearts, big deal. Without that tension, there's no adventurer.

I am the temple warden, I see past and future alike, but the woman of my life lives only in my dreams - the second phrase is too closely tied to the concept of a Lover, which should be left open for play and individual adventures. Solution: "... but my true desires live only in my dreams."

I am an angel cast on earth, my touch can return one's life but I will never be able to reach again the heaven I came from - get rid of the first phrase, and begin with "My touch ..." That'll work well, especially since the term "heaven" is now left open for interpretation.

I am a vampire, my gaze can conquer countless maidens, but I long for the warmth of sunbeams on my flesh / I am a sea dweller, bearing jewels made out of pearls and coral, but outside of the water I would choke in an instant. - both of these are boring, for several reasons. First, they are standard fantasy races. Second, the "but" statements are mere physical limitations, and worse, they are exclusive to story. For instance, if the sea dweller is in water, then the limitation means nothing, and if he is outside the water, then he's choking and is hence unplayable. (I said "he" to keep my sentence structure readable; put "or she" in mentally).

Mauro

Quote
The Mirror Lake, where persons forget their sorrows ? Under the Unending Rains ? The Dancing Hall, where it seems everybody is enjoying themselves ? The Outer Zone, where a girl is lost

All of the above are excellent:

Quote
The Crystal Mask, where nothing is as it looks like ? The Stone Forest, whose inhabitant disregard each other

These aren't bad, although I think that the first should be renamed (there's already a Crystal Court) and the second's qualifying phrase might be better re-written, perhaps, "where everyone is alone."

The Ancient Factory, where mechanics rules over life - too straightforward. It'd be better without the second phrase, retaining merely the first three words.

Quote
The Sun Court, after the Slaying of the Queen ? The Moon Court, waiting for his King ? The Eclipse Court, mourning his Prince

This combination is too clever without much content, resulting in the typically diverse but ultimately uninteresting setting found in modern fantasy. ("Seven kingdoms!" "Ten lands!" "Fifteen dimensions!" all of which indicate that the author cannot do one thing well). If you must have this, then combine into one location called the Celestial Court and have the family or social system be dysfunctional, phrased in a more general way. "The Celestial Court, where poison brews behind every smile."

The Memory Dome, in which Halls all is retained, and all is forgot - a bit too abstractly philosophical, I think. I can see how it could be made strong, but also how it could easily slip into nothingness.

The Halls of Life, where death is spread - the contrast here is probably too obvious.

The Lost City, broken by Civil War - neither term really jumps out as something interesting, nor do they combine well. If it's lost, who cares if there's a civil war? I've seen this done well in fiction (e.g. "Red Nails") but I think it probably arises from different colorful starting concepts.

The Green Planet, whose King was overthrown ? The Green Lands, where the Sun shine over an impending threat (next location!) - first, the Green and Green present the same redundancy as the Court phrases, and second, I don't think that any location should have any link to another location - it becomes a preliminary encounter rather than an adventure of its own.

Characters:

I am a young men, attractive and skilled, but I don't dare to open my heart - too much Lover conflict. Whether he "opens his heart" or not is an adventure-specific, location-specific, Lover-specific question that should always be left open for play. I think this description should be abandoned.

I am a Demon Prince, a Kingdom under my rule, but I crave human warmth - this isn't bad, but I think it'd be better without the Kingdom phrase, leaving the meaning of "demon prince" entirely up to interpretation. If you want him to have a kingdome, then introduce one when you play the character. Also, "prince" is gendered in English, so anything similar that doesn't include that implication would be better.

I am the daughter of the Moon, blessed by her gifts, but I'll never be able to see her again - it's gendered. Fix that to "child," and it's great!

I am the Herald of the Sun, strong with his brightness, but my hands burns the life - the "but" phrase is boring, a simple physical limitation. You could change it to anything emotional, like "... but I hate him," or "... but I love my family more than him," or anything situational that doesn't front-load the story too much, like "...

I am a waylander, knower of the lands, bu no one trust me - this is effectively empty of content and should be abandoned.

Let me know what you think! I am not sure whether my logic in constructing this material is fully apparent, and although I consider it consistent at the creative level, I have not yet articulated it formally for myself.

Best, Ron
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Meme
Member

Posts: 14


« Reply #11 on: May 27, 2010, 10:27:37 AM »

Thanks Ron!

Your answer is great!

I will work on those which aren't good ^^

Read you soon
Meme
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Emanuele Borio, I'm italian, and my English sucks, beware.
Meme is my real Byname, not a Nickname ^^
Mauro
Member

Posts: 3


« Reply #12 on: May 29, 2010, 12:32:04 AM »

These aren't bad, although I think that the first should be renamed (there's already a Crystal Court) and the second's qualifying phrase might be better re-written, perhaps, "where everyone is alone."
I didn't remember the Crystal Court; you're right, so...

The Silver Mask, where nothing is as it looks like ? The Stone Forest, where everyone is alone.

Quote
The Memory Dome, in which Halls all is retained, and all is forgot - a bit too abstractly philosophical, I think. I can see how it could be made strong, but also how it could easily slip into nothingness
Any idea about how put that strong in the wording? If not, I'll discard it until something better comes in mind to me.

Quote
The Green Planet, whose King was overthrown ? The Green Lands, where the Sun shine over an impending threat (next location!) - first, the Green and Green present the same redundancy as the Court phrases, and second, I don't think that any location should have any link to another location - it becomes a preliminary encounter rather than an adventure of its own
I explain this better: "next location" was (badly) referred to my game with Meme; in our game the Monster was Lover's father, and the Lover said that, since her father was still alive, she wasn't free. So, I thought that for me it'd cool my character getting back home (Green Lands) with a menace that could be that Monster. If it'll be... it depends on what Meme'll decide, and I'm looking forward to knowing this!

For the "Green" you're right; so, the Red Planet.


"The Celestial Court, where poison brews behind every smile." - absolutely cool; I definitely take your suggestion, it's way cooler than the three separate settings.

The Lost City, broken by Civil War - "The Central City, broken by Civil War" would make more sense?

I am a Demon Prince, a Kingdom under my rule, but I crave human warmth - I am a Royal Demon, but I crave human warmth.

I am the daughter of the Moon, blessed by her gifts, but I'll never be able to see her again - I am the child of the Moon, blessed by her gifts, but I'll never be able to see her again (cool you like this, I really love it).

I am the Herald of the Sun, strong with his brightness, but my hands burns the life - I'll go with your suggestion, "I am the Herald of the Sun, strong with his brightness, but I love my family more than him".
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Hans Otterson
Member

Posts: 17


« Reply #13 on: May 31, 2010, 12:39:45 AM »


Quote
The Memory Dome, in which Halls all is retained, and all is forgot - a bit too abstractly philosophical, I think. I can see how it could be made strong, but also how it could easily slip into nothingness
Any idea about how put that strong in the wording? If not, I'll discard it until something better comes in mind to me.

I'm getting a very dream-like vibe from this, something like...

"The caverns of Morpheus, where all is forgotten yet everything remains."

ehh, still doesn't feel strong to me, but there's a kernel of something worthy there.
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