Need some critics over my new project

[Valamir]

Have you seen JAGS-Thirteen Colonies

It is very much along the same flavor of what you are trying to do in creating a mostly modern world where certain technology stopped in the 1940s and other technology stopped in the 19th century or even earlier.  The catalyst for this unusual development in Thirteen Colonies was magic*, but I think there is some REALLY great stuff in there that you could be inspired by as far as tracing how development of such a world might have gone, even if you come up with a different catalyst for it.  Its a free download at the above link.  I highly recommend checking it out.  Its some of the best alternate history I've seen in an RPG.


*Specifically magic existed in small and scattered quantities throughout human history.  The Inquisition succeeded in finding and stamping out almost all such instances of magic and permanently removed the magic from the world by concentrating it into a storage device that would be hidden away in a remote location where it would never be let back into the world again.  Until a couple of centuries past, someone found the device and whoops magic tidal wave.  Being magic the tidal wave progressed without regard to linear time and actually changed the course of human history prior to the actual time when it was let loose...(love that time fluxing stuff).  Anyway, interesting stuff.  Not necessarily the angle to go for this project, but if another suitable catalyst is substituted that has largely the same net impact on technological develeopment than many of its postulations would come in quite handy.

[xechnao]

Thanks for the link.
But let me say that I don't want to use or have magic in the setting.
If you like this kind could I suggest you arcanum, the computer game? Even the shadowrun setting mixes magic with technology but with technology at more advanced levels from the modern one.

[Valamir]

But let me say that I don't want to use or have magic in the setting.

Yes I understand that.  Thirteen colonies does use magic as the catalyst for limiting technological development but then uses some very well thought out and plausible extrapolation to develop what society might look like within those parameters.

Where this would be useful for you I think is NOT in the specifics of the magic but the specifics of the extrapolation.  Whatever catalyst you come up with as a reason why certain areas of technology did not develop past a certain point and others did would be substituted for the magic bits of thirteen colonies.  But the extrapolation as to what the world might look like as a result I think would be a very useful source for you to draw upon.

[xechnao]

I have been giving a look of Thirteen-Colonies and by far seems done well.
But the fact of a different story of the evolution of technology is a different story path of history and society.
So on my setting is a bit more complicated. Take also in mind that I am implementing more races such as humanoids and lizardmen. I also have put "monsters" very powerful in certain terrains that indicate humans are not the masters of every country.
As I said geneaology wil be a bit alternative. For example humans maybe initially were slaves to another, different race that used them as we use labour horses and at some extent they made a revolution or prevailed over the other race or maybe the other race went down.

[Mike Holmes]

How much do you have written so far?

Mike

[xechnao]

Give you an example of a try to begin developing the setting.
(Note: Names of things are likely to change)
Prologue I:

In some place and time of the universe there is a planet whose name in the most spoken language of it's inhabitants is "Erena".

Erena is a planet that resembles earth in many aspects. It's physical and chimical properties are very similar to earth's and much like earth has a natural satelite and is lighted by a star. We can say that the day and night skies of the planets look alike a lot with a glance of the human eye.

But Erena is unique to earth. A testification of this is the major difference they share in terms of geography. Erena's land and sea are disposed in a manner that leaves any earth map useless. And this is not important to say only for finding your way around. The deal between land and life has been different.

The deal of land's resources and living beings on Erena leads to the exotic look to us of many things around there along it's times. But still there are ages that could carry something familiar for our feelings. The following chapters describe one of this ages.

[Mike Holmes]

So, you don't have anything written so far other than what we've seen so far?

Mike

[xechnao]

Well I can't post all of it over here in this thread. Indeed right now what troubles me is how could I present it and what.

[dragongrace]

Well I can't post all of it over here in this thread. Indeed right now what troubles me is how could I present it and what.

You could always use the old standby of: an existing inhabitant who is a history /philosophy buff leaving notes to another generation.  From this model you can describe things in the voice of a character who exists within the world trying desperately to describe the current world in an objective manner.  

example:
"I often feel as if there was something missing from the old wars, some way to outclass our enemies so that casulties aren't quite so outstanding.  Of course the porcelin shards littering the ground from teh resulting clashes serves as a faitful reminder of those who enter into the bloody conflicts but, history is often soon forgotten and repeated.

"We've grwon accustomed to the porcelin fired means in which we build our weapons and our armors.  The tanks that suffer under the piercing power of the stone bolts.  The swords that shatter unless glossed by Jarum Hellwater's chemical formula for strengthening the composition of the porcelin in-kiln..."

You get the idea.  In this way you can describe any number fo elements in the game world and generate the atmosphere you think would suit it best.

JOE--

[Mike Holmes]

Well I can't post all of it over here in this thread. Indeed right now what troubles me is how could I present it and what.

You totally misunderstand me (or I'm not getting what you're saying). I'm not asking to see anything. I just want to know how far you've gotten so far.

How many words or pages of material do you have written down at this point on the setting?

Mike

[xechnao]

I still have to go some way to arrive to a point I want. I want to present an adequate list of some states and the relationships of their activities. I also need to present the civilization and cultural standards of those. Some work it is done but it's not finished.

[xechnao]

Pages I have written plenty(about 300) but the valuable material to be presented don't exceed the 10% of the one they contain.

[xechnao]

Elves have fewer surface than dwarves. So should elves be the population of the desert while dwarves those of the North*(most propably)? What do you think?

Norse, viking style if get what I mean

[Mike Holmes]

I'm getting dizzy.

So you have 300 pages of material. I'm not sure what the next sentence means. That you think that only 10% is good?

Your last post was (to me at least) not understandable as you wrote it. Are you asking if Elves could live in a desert and if it's appropriate for dwarves to live in a wintery northern climate?

Mike

[xechnao]

So you have 300 pages of material. I'm not sure what the next sentence means. That you think that only 10% is good?

Correct! No need feeling dizzy :)

Are you asking if Elves could live in a desert and if it's appropriate for dwarves to live in a wintery northern climate?

I am asking if elves and dwarves were to be considered normal biological organisms that were being evoluted on the planet where they would be?
For instance black men are in the tropical and equator zones while white men norther or souther. Camels are found in deserts while yaks and polar bears on the icy fields. This is what I am asking.
Where it would be more propable to find or place dwarves' and elves' home setting (as eg for black men we could say hot climate sunny africa I was asking if elves would be found on the desert due to their slim stock and dwarves where vikings were due to their hairy and heavy stock).