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I've been writing Delta over the past few weeks, which is the name I've given to a game I first mentioned here:

http://www.indie-rpgs.com/viewtopic.php?t=5452

This is the text of my introduction section, which precedes the first chapter.  I plan to post the draft of the first chapter (which gives an overview of the basic concepts before proceeding with the rest of the game in later chapters) by this time next week, depending on availability, my own timeframe for revision, etc.

Pardon any strange formattings below.  I'm copying it out of a PDF, since I don't have my editing copy on hand right now.  I've tried to clean it up as best as I can.

Quote
What is Delta?

Delta is a role-playing game about ideals in conflict.  It is about the struggle between darkness and light, good and evil, technology and nature, magic and science.

Delta is a game about the effects of conflict on those who take part in it. It is about the price of fighting for your beliefs. It is about the responsibilities and consequences of power. It is about bitter enemies who, in spite of themselves, become more like one another as they struggle sword to sword.

Delta is about the three sides in a war — the side of light, the side of darkness, and those who find themselves in the middle.  It is about those who hang in the balance, and those who enforce that balance, trying to live outside of the conflict.  It is about those third parties deliberately playing each side off the other.

It is a game where you might play one, two, or all three sides of that war.

One Theme, Many Settings

Delta is a high concept game, built to tell a specific kind of story — the three sides of a war.  As such, Delta can be referred to as a single-theme game, which distinguishes it both from single-setting games and from "universal" games.

The actual setting you bring to this game is your own, and can fit almost any vista in which this theme might play out.

Your game might be set in the far future, with two ancient alien races moving toward war — with mankind and the other younger races fighting to survive it.

Or it might be an epic modern-day battle for souls fought by angels and demons — with an ancient Illuminated Order struggling to preserve the free will of men.

Or it could be a story of the mundane kingdoms at war, only to discover that a greater conflict between fire and ice is at hand.

Or...any of a number of other ideas.

Pure Purpose Mechanics

Since Delta has a focused, single notion of theme, it is able to zero in on providing only (or at least primarily) the mechanics necessary to support and extend that theme.  This provides a few advantages.

Delta's mechanics are not vast.  You won't find yourself flipping through page after page of rules, and it won't take you or other members of your playgroup very long to digest the essentials of the game.

Delta's mechanical concepts are simple.  Since they by and large tie into a common thematic idea, they'll be easier to remember and quicker to play.  The system will accommodate the addition of a house rule here or there without breaking obscure rule number twenty two.

Delta's themed mechanics can also help to keep the story on track, and add some deep character-focused dimensions to it, as they act in support of the theme — since any game that uses Delta as its system necessarily has that theme.

And finally, since the system has a single, pure purpose, it will do its best to get out of the way of your story — except when it shouldn't.

I have a few questions here:

Does this adequately introduce the game?  

Does it generate interest in the rest of the text?

Based on this alone, what would it take for this to be a game you'd be willing to spend, say, $5 or $6 on?  (Admittedly, this is a thin bit of text to base such an answer on, but I'll be asking this question again when I have more of the text to share)

Thanks!

Reminds me a bit of the themes of Paladin by Clinton Nixon, with the addition of playing at the balance point!
Sounds interesting to me, but then I'm already interested in games with such themes.
What would I need to spend $5-$6 on.
Mechanics and play style that support the premise.
Contrasting-type character set up is good to show off play intent.
Just enough Setting stuff to show what you would expect to need as a minimum to start play. Any particulars that you really need to pre-make, or just keep in mind, to support the major styles of play you expect. (For instance, some games don't require an elaborate pre-made plot and encounters, but do need a lively set of NPCs with relationships and conflicting aims in order to get play really going)
An example scenario would be nice as a general guide. Comments and pointers gleaned from actual play are always welcome.

Paladin was, indeed, a strong influence (which I believe I mentioned in the other referenced thread), and some similarities will doubtless be seen when I start posting the other stuff.  Thanks for your feedback!

To get back to the introduction:

Nice. Tight. Informative. Works for me.

It depends. If its for people whom you know are already quite versed in rpgs on an intimate level, or for other posters in a game design forum, its great. If its intended for mass consumption, for Little Johnny or "Fang" to pick it up and leaf through it because it has an interesting cover or idea on the back, I personally feel that these:

"One Theme, Many Settings

Delta is a high concept game, built to tell a specific kind of story — the three sides of a war. As such, Delta can be referred to as a single-theme game

---

Pure Purpose Mechanics

Since Delta has a focused, single notion of theme, it is able to zero in on providing only (or at least primarily) the mechanics necessary to support and extend that theme"

are tremendously arcane for 'most gamers' who are not designing their own game. High Concept game? Who says? What does that mean? Is that good or bad? Do you have to be super smart to run/play it? Single theme? As in...? Pure Purpose Mechanics? That doesn't even mean anything. I just feel its a bit 'brain-nerdy', for general interest...

Quote from: Dr. VelocityIt depends. If its for people whom you know are already quite versed in rpgs on an intimate level, or for other posters in a game design forum, its great. If its intended for mass consumption, for Little Johnny or "Fang" to pick it up and leaf through it because it has an interesting cover or idea on the back, I personally feel that these:

(snip)

are tremendously arcane for 'most gamers' who are not designing their own game. High Concept game? Who says? What does that mean? Is that good or bad? Do you have to be super smart to run/play it? Single theme? As in...? Pure Purpose Mechanics? That doesn't even mean anything. I just feel its a bit 'brain-nerdy', for general interest...

This is a good point, and one I'll have to chew on for a while before I figure out what to do about it.

However, it does give rise to the question as to whether or not that sort of language is fine for an electronically published game (PDF), but wouldn't be for a print version.  Thoughts?

And another question: Does anyone have suggestions for how to take the above language and turn it into something that conveys the same message, but makes it less "brainy"?  I'll be tackling that question myself after my soon-to-arrive houseguest departs, but if anyone has some thoughts on this in the intervening days, they'd really  help to ground me where I need to be when I come back to the rewrite.