Social contract stuff Diaries of a Dysfunctional group

[brianm]

Status Quo

When I arrived for the game Friday the tension could be felt a bit, no one said anything about the issues, after 30 minutes of chit chatting about movies and video games it was obvious the game was about to start as usual, and no one was going to say a word.  So I started discussing stuff with the GM, what I hoped would be a group discussion was mostly a 2-hour dialogue between the GM and me.  The discussion should have happened 6 weeks ago at the switch of games.  A little was accomplished I have a slightly better idea of how people feel.  The only topic not discussed was the GM’s girlfriend.  I didn’t bring it up because it was a lose, lose situation for me.  She is very angry and has decided that I am the bad guy and that I do not exist.(she completlt avoided me).

Things are OK I guess, I will make a point to bring up small issues as they come along before they become larger issues and because no one else will.  The downside is I have fairly thick skin and I don’t even know about many of the problems.

As for “You can't reason with unreasonable people.” Thanks your right and I will try and keep that in mind.  Members of the group are sometimes unreasonable, sometimes in denial and many of them will avoid a confrontation at all cost.  Making problem solving difficult.

[Alan]

Hi Brian,

Everyone seems to be stuck in their role.  

One trick from transactional analysis is to displace the current dynamic - it may be as simple as sitting in a different chair - or as complex as having someone else GM.

A great way to start such a change of dynamic would be for you and Jack to commit an act of leadership: start your own game.  Invite everyone from the group and let them edit themselves out.  

Another bit of wisdom: don't get stuck on trying to make other people change.

[Jack Spencer Jr]

A great way to start such a change of dynamic would be for you and Jack to commit an act of leadership: start your own game.  Invite everyone from the group and let them edit themselves out.

Problem is, there's only one other person that I'd let in my house if it was raining outside. ANd I have my doubts if I'll be able to get him without causing a row. I'm not necessarily looking to do that. yeah, yeah. avoid conflict at all costs....

[Mike Holmes]

Problem is, there's only one other person that I'd let in my house if it was raining outside. ANd I have my doubts if I'll be able to get him without causing a row. I'm not necessarily looking to do that. yeah, yeah. avoid conflict at all costs....

One person in the world?

See, this is where it seems problematic. If these folks aren't people who you consider friends, then why are you playing with them at all? How did you get in this situation? Why don't you just tell them that you're not interested, and start another game with entirely other folks?

Steal that one good player, too. What do you care if they complain, just ignore them. They aren't your friends. I mean they can't be with that description above. So who cares what they think.

Mike

[Ron Edwards]

What Mike said. In full, with four-part harmony.

Best,
Ron

[Jack Spencer Jr]

Well, one person from that group, anyway. Two of the players I really have no feelings about, period except for a vague uneasiness. One I am indifferent about, but he was the GM's college roommate. The one player I would take is the minor. Jerry is very good at ingraciating himself to parents, or so it seems to hear him talk. It's a bit stickier a situation in that case, I think.

And I have left the group and really haven't said anything to Jerry since the email I mentioned above. I don't have many friends, but, eh, I can find other friends, I think.

I think I'd better reduce to lurking on this thread, should it continue. It's way to easy to slip into vent mode.