Topic: Dumb GNS jokes
Started by: Michael S. Miller
Started on: 4/5/2004
Board: Forge Birthday Forum
On 4/5/2004 at 2:10pm, Michael S. Miller wrote:
Dumb GNS jokes
How many Gamists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Depends on how many tie for the low roll.
How many Narrativists does it take to change a lightbulb?
"How far will you go to get the light that you want?"
How many Simulationists does it take to change a lightbulb?
One.
[Dodges rotten tomatoes]
On 4/5/2004 at 6:45pm, Dav wrote:
RE: Dumb GNS jokes
How many Simulationists does it take to change a lightbulb?
According to the chart, due to the phase of the moon and the average magnetic pull of the passing comets, as well as the fact that you've never told the GM that you have changed lightbulbs before (it's not on your character sheet), you fall under the Novice level of lightbulb screwing. Therefore, you require 1.3 people to change the lightbulb.
Narrativists?
There must be some reason that the light went out... therefore, let's not change the light at all and see where that takes us.
Gamists?
It only took me one roll, how many did it take you?
Dav
On 4/5/2004 at 6:56pm, Jonathan Walton wrote:
RE: Dumb GNS jokes
Riffing on In Nomine here, I present:
Gamers and Their Colas
A strongly-Gamist player, when confronted with a soda machine, will kill it and take its stuff.
A strongly-Narrativist player, when confronted with a soda machine, will look at the change in their pockets and try to answer the essential question: Do you spend or give up the pop?
A strongly-Simulationist player, when confronted with a soda machine, will ignore it completely. After all, I don't roleplay so I can enjoy imagining myself drinking soda. What kind of bullshit is that? Do you narrate your character going to the bathroom and revel in taking an imaginary dump? I didn't think so! Right, now... I want to cast Magic Missle on the darkness...
On 4/5/2004 at 7:00pm, Matt Wilson wrote:
RE: Dumb GNS jokes
Two gamists walk into a bar.
The third gamist remembers to check for bars and gets a bonus to dodge it.
On 4/5/2004 at 7:36pm, Ron Edwards wrote:
RE: Dumb GNS jokes
Heh,
I like this thread! Finish for me ...
1. A Gamist, a Simulationist, and a Narrativist are captured by cannibals ...
2. A [pick one of the three] comes to the farmhouse, and the farmer says, "You can stay the night, but don't screw my daughter," and the daughter ...
Best,
Ron
On 4/5/2004 at 7:43pm, Valamir wrote:
RE: Dumb GNS jokes
Ron Edwards wrote: Heh,
I like this thread! Finish for me ...
1. A Gamist, a Simulationist, and a Narrativist are captured by cannibals ...
One of them will be served for dinner that night.
The Gamist says "lets make a break for it, if we can get to the boat we've got a chance".
The Narrativist says "you go on. I'll stay behind and distract them, I've chosen this moment for my dramatic death scene"
The Simulationst says "I'll need to know what kind of wood they're using for the cooking fire so I can determine exactly what temperature its burning at, and how long I can survive if I cover myself with coconut oil first"
On 4/5/2004 at 7:56pm, joshua neff wrote:
RE: Dumb GNS jokes
Ron Edwards wrote: 2. A [pick one of the three] comes to the farmhouse, and the farmer says, "You can stay the night, but don't screw my daughter," and the daughter ...
A gamist, a narrativist, & a simulationist are wandering through the countryside, looking for a place to spend the night. They come upon a lonely farmhouse, where a large, gruff farmer lives with his gorgeous, shapely daughter. The farmer tells them they can spend the night, "but if you touch my daughter, I'll kill ya."
Well, wouldn't you know it, the daughter comes into the guest room & approaches the gamist. "I'm so lonely," she says. "Won't you take me into your arms & make me a woman?" But the gamist replies, "Sorry, baby, but I've calculated the odds & your father could whip the crap out of me. I'm not risking it."
So, the daughter approaches the narrativist & says, "I'm so lonely, all alone here in the country. Won't you take me into your bed?" But the narrativist says, "You know, it's really, really tempting. But I'm taking a stand: it just wouldn't be the moral thing to do. That's my call at this moment."
The daughter sighs & approaches the simulationist. "I'm so, so lonely out here in the countryside. Won't you take me into your bed & ravish me?" And the simulationist says, "Hey, I know all about these situations. I'm very familiar with these jokes. And even though I know your dad will pound me into pulp, I know that in this situation I'm supposed to sleep with you." So, the simulationist had his way with the daughter.
The next morning, the gamist & narrativist left the farmhouse & continued on their travels. The simulationist was never heard from again.
On 4/5/2004 at 7:59pm, joshua neff wrote:
RE: Dumb GNS jokes
Okay, so that was pretty lame. But it was the best I could think of off the top of my head.
On 4/5/2004 at 8:17pm, quozl wrote:
RE: Dumb GNS jokes
Here's more to finish:
Why did the gamist cross the road?
Why did the narrativist cross the road?
Why did the simulationist cross the road?
On 4/5/2004 at 8:20pm, rafial wrote:
RE: Dumb GNS jokes
Why did the simulationist cross the road?
To see what was on the other side, of course.
On 4/5/2004 at 8:25pm, joshua neff wrote:
RE: Dumb GNS jokes
quozl wrote: Here's more to finish:
Why did the gamist cross the road?
Why did the narrativist cross the road?
Why did the simulationist cross the road?
We can never really know why they did it. What matters is how they did it & how it was socially reinforced.
On 4/5/2004 at 8:29pm, Jonathan Walton wrote:
RE: Dumb GNS jokes
quozl wrote: Why did the gamist cross the road?
Why did the narrativist cross the road?
Why did the simulationist cross the road?
That's silly. You can't know that they prefer G, N, or S play just by watching them cross the road! GNS is about demonstrated behavioral tendencies, so crossing the road doesn't tell you anything. Now, if you watched all of them cross the road multiple times, you might be able to analyze the ways in which they cross and the classify them based on exhibited preferences. Still, that would never tell you WHY; it would just allow you to predict that they might cross the road in a similar fashion the next time they encountered a road that needed crossing.
On 4/5/2004 at 9:10pm, Guest wrote:
RE: Dumb GNS jokes
quozl wrote: Here's more to finish:
Why did the gamist cross the road?
Because Rolemaster awards experience points for overland travel on a per-mile basis.
On 4/5/2004 at 9:27pm, rafial wrote:
RE: Dumb GNS jokes
Why did the narrativist cross the road?
We can such hard questions in many different ways, but we will never have a truly definitive answer.
On 4/6/2004 at 12:22am, coxcomb wrote:
RE: Dumb GNS jokes
Why did the Simulationist cross the road:
He was playing a chicken.
On 4/6/2004 at 12:39am, Scourge108 wrote:
RE: Dumb GNS jokes
A gamist, a narrativist, and a simulationist encounter a hostile group of cannibals while hiking through the rain forest, and decide to use their roleplaying skills to get out of the situation.
The Narrativist goes first, using his skills to present the moral dilemma to the cannibals. "We are all human. If you eat me, how does that make it any better than if I eat you? At what cost to your soul does this practice come?" Unimpressed, the cannibals tied him up and threw him in the pot.
The Gamist went next. "It's all about who's the best," he shouted, and leapt into combat, using all the maneuvers and tactics he'd learned from gaming. Being seasoned hunters, the cannibals easily subdued him, tied him up, and threw him in the pot, too.
"Quick, Mr. Sim," the captives screamed, "simulate something that will let you escape and get help!" After thinking it over, he knew exactly what kind of character to simulate.
"Hi, I'm a gourmet chef, and it looks like you nice cannibal-people could use my services!"
On 4/6/2004 at 12:50am, Anonymous wrote:
RE: Dumb GNS jokes
Clearly somebody in that party needed the skill "Eat spicy food".
(this is joke that only Clinton will get)
On 4/6/2004 at 12:58am, Scourge108 wrote:
RE: Dumb GNS jokes
Why did the Gamist cross the road?
--For extra experience points.
Why did the Narrativist cross the road?
--What does it really mean to cross a road? Do you cross a road, or does the road cross you?
Why did the Simulationist cross the road?
--They were railroaded into it.
On 4/6/2004 at 1:47am, Wolfen wrote:
RE: Dumb GNS jokes
Q. Why did the Gamist cross the road?
A. To show off his Boots of Road-crossing +5
Q. Why did the Narrativist cross the road?
A. Because it was thematically appropriate as a metaphor for the changes in his life.
Q. Why did the Simulationist cross the road?
A. Because it was the road less crossed.
On 4/5/2005 at 8:20am, Nicolas Crost wrote:
RE: Dumb GNS jokes
Why did the Narrativist cross the road?
I don't know, but if you answer that question, you will definitely get theme!
edit: Whoops, this is a thread from last year isn't it... shame on me... :-/
On 4/5/2005 at 11:26am, Doug Ruff wrote:
RE: Dumb GNS jokes
Q: Why did the Gamist cross the road?
A: So he could Step On Up on to the opposite kerb.
On 4/5/2005 at 11:29am, Doug Ruff wrote:
RE: Dumb GNS jokes
Sorry, double post, but I've got a joke scenario I'd like you to finish.
A Gamist, a Simulationist and Narrativist find an old lamp in a basement, and one of them decides to give it rub.
On 4/5/2005 at 1:20pm, Lord_Steelhand wrote:
RE: Dumb GNS jokes
A Gamist, a Narritivist, and a Simulationist are out in the woods on a hike when they are forced to seek shelter in a cave to avoid rain. Inside the cave is a dead moose carcass. Ignoring the stench, they settle down to rest for the night and run a small game.
The Gamist begins his game and after a few hours, the Simulationist can no longer accept the disdain for genre and the realism of the world the Gamist is working in - he leaves the cave to get away from the game.
A few hours later, he is joined by the Narritivist. "I just couldn't stand that game any longer," exclaimed the Narrativist and explained how there was no protaginization and no premise to address. Two two of them huddle beneath a tree to wait out the night.
A few hours later they hear a noise and assume it is the Gamist. Turning to tell him to go away, they instead see the dead hulk of the moose fleeing the cave. Surprised, they rush back to the cave to check on their Gamist pal. When they arrive, he is fine but miffed as he puts away his GM screen.
"What happened," they asked their pal, "Why did the dead Moose just run out of here?"
"That Moose is a wimp," shouted the bitter Gamist, "I only threw 30 orcs at him and BOOM - off he went!"
<rimshot>
On 4/5/2005 at 1:32pm, Lord_Steelhand wrote:
RE: Dumb GNS jokes
A Gamist, a Narrativist, and a Simulationist are all in a car wreck and go to the Pearly Gates. St Peter explains that heaven’s rewards are based on a character creation system. The gamers smile and begin work on their character sheets.
The Simulationist hands in a sheet with an angel in classic style with a backstory pulled from Milton and lots of traditional angelic powers. St Pete reads it over and stamps it approved. The Simulationist is transformed into his character and enters Heaven.
The Gamist spends several hours creating a carefully-balanced and min-maxed character who is an Arch-Angel Protector prestige class loaded down with treasure, influence, and magic items. St Pete looks over the sheet, stamps it approved. The Gamist transforms and strides into heaven to meet his loyal troops.
The Narrativist sadly hands St Pete his sheet. St Pete stares at amazement and shock at what he sees. “This means, my son, that you will be a Demon of the Pit – that you will be condemned to Hell! But why?”
Looking at the cloud he’s standing on in a shamed way, the Narrativist kicks up some vapor and shrugs, “They have all the best ISSUES…”