Topic: A Eurmali Myth
Started by: Moah
Started on: 5/16/2004
Board: HeroQuest
On 5/16/2004 at 4:06am, Moah wrote:
A Eurmali Myth
This is being a little quiet, so i'm quickly (and probably badly) translating a myth i've written for a recent game.
“Eurmal was exhausted from having supported his best friends's efforts for so long, and had decided to enjoy a well deserved rest. To that goal, he had stopped in a neighbouring village, where he fulfilled his earthly desires with young women who were sad and lonely. These were infinitely thankful to him for his affections they had been so obviously denied.
“Unfortunately, the village’s chief, who wasn’t very affectionate himself, but very jealous, came to hear about Eurmal’s performance. Raging that he didn’t have such capabilities himself, and unable to equal Eurmal’s popularity, he caught the trickster by surprise while he was honouring the most beautiful woman in the village.
“Blinded by his hatred and anger, he let out all hell over the body of our unfortunate hero, whom he tore into forty-nine parts that he threw everywhere over his tula to never hear of again.
“Eurmal’s heart had survived, however, and was saddened by so much hatred. Hadn’t he, after all, brought joy and seed where only sadness and barrenness had been? It all seemed perfectly unfair, which is why he resolved to find his lost bits, with the help of his faithful tagalongs.
“Eurmal first called he servant, whom he had duped into signing a fool’s contract, his pet and him who thought he knew everything (whom he could certainly make fun of). Unfortunately, they didn’t see the benefit into gathering Eurmal, and did not even agree to the injustice made against him. First the trickster had to cajole them. Then he had to threaten them. Then he had to make them laugh. Finally, he got them drunk so they would follow him.
“The first body part Eurmal hunted was his left leg. He had developed a tremendous love for that limb, especially as it was itching so much since their splitting. There is, after all, nothing worse than an itch you can’t scratch. Said limb was at the Wolf King’s, who was gnawing it as if it were a mere bone. He probably didn’t even notice the superior quality of the meat. As these beasts are simple minded, and of a proud nature, it wasn’t hard for Eurmal to trick their king into a hunting contest. Since other occupations were calling Eurmal, he let his pet take care of that lowly work.
“Once in possession of his limbs, Eurmal had to find his stomach because he was getting hungry. He smelled his stomach down to an inn, where he ordered it in sauce with garlic. The owner wouldn’t sell it though, as he needed a name and a sign for his inn. Eurmal then offered a food contest that he won handily. He left, giving a name and sign to the inn that had celebrated him.
“Having fed and drank, he had to empty his bladder. Two morons were using it for some idiotic game. Eurmal, who couldn’t find an ounce of interest in such low entertainments, let his servant fix the problem and went for his brain.
“Some petty king was on the point of boiling Eurmal’s brain. Eurmal ridiculed his laws and customs, mocking him-who-thinks-he-knows-everything as he was speaking, and showing his bottom to the gathered court. The court, destabilized by Eurmal’s behaviour gave him his brains back, thinking he would calm down. Eurmal thanked them promptly by impregnating the ugly daughter of the king.
“Finally, Eurmal went back to his original clan and offered to fix his wrongs through a talent contest, that would bring glory and good luck to the clan. Once the chief convinced, Eurmal’s talent impressed everyone so much they wanted to name him chief. Fortunately, he had already run away into the night.”
On 5/18/2004 at 8:15pm, Mike Holmes wrote:
RE: A Eurmali Myth
Cool. Looking for feedback of any particular sort?
Mike
On 5/18/2004 at 9:04pm, Moah wrote:
RE: A Eurmali Myth
Sure, feedback is always welcome. Note: this is quite short, as I used this as an "Heroquesting 101" for my players.
On 5/20/2004 at 8:33pm, Mike Holmes wrote:
RE: A Eurmali Myth
LOL
What I meant was, what sort of feedback would be useful to you? What would you like to discuss about the myth? Or is it just here to share?
Mike
On 5/20/2004 at 10:06pm, Moah wrote:
RE: A Eurmali Myth
It was mostly here to share, but i'm interested in what people think of it.