In Anyone got a chance to playtest yet?, Andy asked:

What's the "Blurb" for Polaris? I'm buddies with Ben, so it kind of fell into my lap, and while I've begun reading it, I realized that having a "Blurb" would help me understand the game a little bit better, and help me plug it.

How long a blurb do you want? Pithy one-sentence blurbs are never enough, I've found - I always want more information, or at least more color.

"A co-gm'd role playing game of high fantasy and tragic drama, set in a faerie court as doomed and as beautiful as a night-diamond snowflake fading before the licking flames of dawn."

best,
Em

I was thinking more of a 1-2 paragraph thingy.

Ex: Here's the Quick Blurb for Tenra Bansho Zero:

" TENRA BANSHO ZERO is a Storytelling Game of Hyper-Oriental Fantasy. On a distant world in the far future, the Sengoku (Feudal/Warring States) period of Japan is happening all over again- But this time with high-tech weapons, magically powered mecha, taoist magic masters and super-powered samurai.

The focus of the game is on the characters, their background, and their place in the world of Tenra. TENRA BANSHO ZERO was created, designed and written by Junichi Inoue and F.E.A.R. It is currently being translated into English and published by Ziggurat Builder Studio, in cooperation with F.E.A.R for a Winter 2005 release."

Quick. Dirty. Not really meaty or descriptive. Good catch copy for a promotional website, but kinda lame.

Here's the Long Blurb for TBZ: (note: Ignore the first two paragraphs if you wish, they're to introduce the game to people who have never played RPGs before)

"Tenra Bansho Zero (TBZ) is a story-telling game that you play in the real world with your friends, usually around a table. In Japan, these kinds of games are called "Table-Talk Role Playing Games", or "TRPGs". One player acts as a director of a play or movie: She sets the stage, creates the background of the story, and keeps the story moving along. The rest of the players are like actors in the play: They each play a part, interact with each other and the director, and keep the story interesting and moving along.

There is no winner in a game of TBZ. There is a definite goal though, and that is to together tell a story that is entertaining for everyone involved.

Tenra Bansho Zero is like a kabuki or western play or stage drama, but one where the actors also serve as the audience. In the game, there will be conflicts, combat, and character goals and plot goals to meet (both that the players give themselves and that the Gamemaster gives them). But at the end of the session, the point isn't to slay enemies, follow a narrow string of events laid down by the storyteller, or clear adventures and scenarios; the point is to take part in a theatrical production over a gaming table, and make it as interesting and enjoyable for everyone as possible.

Tenra Bansho Zero takes place on another planet in the far future: Having been exiled there, and left to develop their own culture for centuries, the people of Tenra have built their culture on the foundations of Japanese culture, advanced technology and magic. Samurai exist side-by-side with cyborg footsoldiers, taoist demon-summoning wizards, medicine men that keep colonies of useful 'pet' insects inside their bodies, and magically-enhanced mecha that are powered by innocent children.

The system behind Tenra Bansho Zero is fast and easy to learn. Using common six-sided dice, the players use their skills and abilities to determine their fortune. The system was designed to be easily understood by beginning roleplayers and enjoyed by experience roleplayers alike. You can understand how the game works within minutes, which is important to keep the focus of the game on the story and characters.

On top of that, a majority of the rules are designed to keep a game session of Tenra Bansho Zero working like a theatrical play: You get bonus points for Acting. The more you roleplay, the more impressive, interesting or amusing your acting is, the more bonus points you receive. These bonus points can be used to improve your character's abilities, or used on the fly to make difficult tasks easier.

Longer, to be sure, but it gives people a quick idea about what the game is about with some minor details and focus.

-Andy

Okay, let's try this for a short blurb. This is totally stolen, structurally, from Andy's TBZ blurb above:

Polaris is an RPG of tragic high fantasy for four players. Far in the north, the Knights of the Order of the Stars wield starlight swords against demons amidst the ruins of the greatest civilization the world will ever know, whilst the few surviving people fritter away their decadant lives within the handful of palaces that were spared by the apocalyptic Mistake. Yet, even as they battle the Mistaken, the Knights will become tainted by their violence and corruption, and grow deaf to the music of the stars. Will you have the courage to take up this desperate conflict?

Polaris includes a rich fairytale background and a set of innovative, story-driven, distributed narration techniques that enable all the players to tell stories of the Knights and their terrible struggle -- their triumphs, failures, passions, tragic deaths and horrific betrayals. Written by Ben Lehman, author of Over the Bar, and developed with the help of an elite international playtesting squad, it will be released under the TAO games imprint in 2005.

Andy, does this help you pitch the game?

Longer blurb to come.

yrs--
--Ben

P.S. Edited a couple of times as I think of better ways to say it.

This is purely for posterity's sake -- the first ever Polaris blurb, used to pitch it as a possible game for a session with one of the local Hong Kong gamers:

"Polaris: A tragic fairy tale game of arctic knights fighting against demonic hordes."

So your memory of it was pretty sharp, Ben.

Looking over the most recent Polaris blurb, I wonder if it would be more effective to switch the order around in the first paragraph. I'm thinking something that sets up the situation (problem) first and then brings in the PCs (solution) second.

Right now it goes "Far in the north, knights... starlight swords... demons... ruins..." and then "survivors... decadent lives... palaces." Now aside from the text being a bit dense for some reason (maybe because I have a head cold), I think it might be more interesting to say something like: "Far in the north, survivors of greatest civilization... waste away... decadent lives.. handful of palaces... demons..." and then come in with the "knights... starlight swords... courage... death and ass-kicking tragedy." Ok, that's a paraphrase. The point being, it might be more effective to establish the situation and conflict first and then show how the PCs address it.

Also, I wonder if the mentions of "the Mistake" and "the Mistaken" are too insider-oriented for a blurb. Sure, people might be intrigued by something they don't understand, but it's more likely that they just won't know what the hell you're talking about. So I'd suggest avoiding game-internal jargon in a blurb -- I think "starlight swords" and "demons" and stuff like that grab attention while stuff like "Mistake" and even "deaf to the music of the stars" are too game internal for a blurb. I'd argue it's better to sell them on the concept with the blurb, then teach them the specifics in the game.

That's what I liked about the original blurb, even though it's a bit short -- every single thing mentioned in it is immediately accessible with no prior knowledge of the game. Plus, "demonic hordes." How can I say no to demonic hordes?

Rich