Thanks again to everyone who commented on my last thread.  I have posted the current draft of The Big House here--although not all filled in yet, I think there's almost enough for a decent playtest (hopefully I'll get a chance to do so soon).

Other than being open to any and all comments, I've got a few specific questions as well:

• So I've given cursing and slang a try--is it working?
• Currency issues--does anything seem over- or under- costed? Any mechanics that don't make sense?
• Endgame issues--am I overlooking any obvious strategies embedded in the mechanics that could disrupt the play experience?
• Do the options present in The Lockdown cover enough ground? Do any of them seem dramatically inappropriate?
• Player characters cannot actually die except during The Lockdown--is this a problem?
• The Gangs & The Guards--I'm thinking of providing templates for different archetypes (the vicious head guard, the compassionate guard, the rookie, the gang leader, the small fish, etc.) and dividing NPCs into named and unnamed characters (Feng Shui-style). In order to have a conflict narration with lasting effects on a named character, players would have to spend extra successes. Thoughts? Too many damn options for extra successes?

Thanks for reading. And a special thanks to Tim Kleinert.  The Mountain Witch has been my nightly reading over the last couple weeks and is inevitably having a huge influence as I develop this game.

I'm beginning to wonder whether I've gone about this all wrong. I don't want to overwhelm folks and end up with no feedback. So I'll focus on two things:

• How can I better present core mechanics, etc. to get thoughtful feedback on different parts of them?
• Does the text so far communicate the prison atmosphere I'm looking for--including evocative use of slang and obscenities?