As mentioned over in the AP thread, I need to develop an island for the kids to play through. This is my first attempt at such a thing, so any advice or suggestions would be appreciated.

Basically, we have a world with a lot of seaside action -- mainly for my daughter -- giant intelligent animals, and common use of fire magic. Probably has a strong Celtic flavor.

DESCRIPTION

The Isle of Nightmares wasn't always. It used to be a beautiful grassy isle famous for its blue skies and unique pottery, fired from rich clay dug from deposits in a canyon at the base of a lonesome, wooded mountain near the isle's center.

Today, it rains almost constantly and no one goes outside unless they have to, and never at night. Everyone is afraid of meeting the Wytchthing. Ships have stopped coming to the island's one port because there is no pottery to trade, and because of terrifying rumors about what happens on the island at night.

For some reason, everyone who sleeps on the island suffers from terrifying nightmares. People don't want to sleep anymore. This makes them cranky and angry, and they can't think straight. Everyone blames the evil wizard who lives on the mountain.

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Ok, I tried to figure out what was what here, trouble-wise, but I can't fathom how to split these things up. So here's the situation I need some help with:

The canyon from which the islanders retrieve the clay for their pots is considered sacred ground by the mountain's animals. The islanders used to be respectful of the canyon and mined as little clay as possible for their needs, but Derrick -- the tribe's head potter -- decided the old rules don't apply to his clay miners anymore.

Derrick is not observing the old rituals, and he's taking more clay in order to increase his profits, because "they're just animals" and thus their "stupid rites" don't matter. So he's letting Derrick's miners go out to the canyon to get as much as he wants.

The town's aged chieftan, Aulf, agree with Derrick. He thinks the animals' concerns aren't worth addressing, that the clay belongs to to his tribe because they're using it and they need it for their pots, which bring more money and supplies to the island.

In retaliation for the defilement of their sacred ground, the bear-wizard who lives on the mountain has cast a nightmare spell over the island to try and drive the tribesmen off. This means no one can sleep well.

Angry at the animals for creating problems, some hunters have begun trapping the mountain's animals. It hasn't escalated beyond animals getting hurt, but it's only a matter of time before one of them gets killed. A sailor abandoned here by his ship is desperate to get off the island, and is hunting the bear-wizard to kill him and end the evil spell.

Everyone thinks the Wytchthing is something else the evil wizard has conjured up to torment them, but really, it's something that was released by the clay miners when they were digging around without paying proper respects to the animal's land. It wants the old rituals to be observed and the stolen clay returned to the canyon.

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Ok. What's Injustice/Conceit/Disobedience/etc? Any other suggestions?

May I give it a shot?

CONCEIT
Derrick (and some of the other humans) have decided that they're better than the Kingdom's Animal citizens.

INJUSTICE
The human islanders have been taking more clay from the canyon than their agreement with the Animals permits.

DISOBEDIENCE
The bear-wizard has broken the king's laws by enosorceling EVERY human on the Island, innocent and guilty alike.

OUTLAWS
Hunters have begun capturing Animal citizens, which is kidnapping. Animal citizens are citizens!

UNREST
Every human citizen is cranky all the time, nobody works well together and a lot of people wonder why it's an off-island sailor and not their own chieftain who seems most energetic about stopping the evil wizard.

LOSS OF LIBERTY
Jealous of his status, Chieftain Aulf has forbidden the sailor to set foot in town.

THE PEOPLE INVOLVED
Derrick wants the Princes to kill the Wytchthyng so it's safe to dig clay again.

Aulf wants the Princes to destroy the wizard before Yarken, the crazy sailor does.

Yarken wants the Princes to get him off the island so much he'll abandon his quest to destroy the wizard if they'll provide his escape.

Several hunters want the Princes to commend them for their efforts in defending the Humans.

A captured Lizard citizen wants the Princes to let him go.

The bear wizard, Mathghamhain, wants the Princes to bound Aulf and Derrick over to the Animals for punishment.

The Wytchthyng wants all the humans to leave the Island forever.

IF THE PRINCES NEVER CAME
The humans would go crazy nuts from lack of sleep. Some would start following Yarken. Derrick would press-gang other human Islanders into mining the canyon in force. There would be a war between the Animals and the humans, which the Animals would win because they've got magic and the humans hardly know whether they're awake or asleep any more. The Animals themselves would survive quite nicely.

NOTES
That's one provisional take, FWIW. Also FWIW, as I read your description, it seems like the "primitives" - the animals and wytchthing - get off pretty light in the moral culpability department, so I deliberately sharpened their hostility beyond what the description strictly requires. I think it was in the writeup of Clinton's first Dreamation playtest that Sydney Freedburg talked about "softness" in the way GMs write up and play what the US courts would call "members of suspect classes" in Dogs/Princes. If I had a single suggestion for changing your writeup, it would be to swap the Who Captures Who? Make it animals capturing humans. I'd probably make the Wytchthyng implacable.

If the previous is not to your taste, you can throttle back the bloodthirstiness and obstinacy I gave the critters as suits you. (Like, when I say the bear wants them for "punishment," I mean dinner! ;) )

Best,

Jim

Supplanter wrote: May I give it a shot?

That's one provisional take, FWIW. Also FWIW, as I read your description, it seems like the "primitives" - the animals and wytchthing - get off pretty light in the moral culpability department

If I had a single suggestion for changing your writeup, it would be to swap the Who Captures Who? Make it animals capturing humans. I'd probably make the Wytchthyng implacable.

greyorm wrote:

Please! That's why I posted asking for help!

greyorm wrote:

And these look good; though, honestly, I still don't get how to divide the situations up this way.
I'm always asking myself, "Is this injustice or conceit? Is it disobedience or rebellion?"

Thanks for the tips, Jim! I will try those for the next island.