After a cool GenCon demo with Brennan (I made Pluto cry!!) we want to play Mortal Coil.  Here's our first theme document.  What's missing?  Is anything over-developed?

Tone:  What's the tone of the game?   Earthy, Mean, Grittty

Setting:  When and where? modern day, trailer park

Magic:  How common is magic?  Not 
                  What sorts of creatures do or don't exist? Fairies, both good and bad, but not like in the stories, and you better not call 'em fairies. 
                  Who knows about magic?  How is magic learned and taught?  Can anyone access magic, or only some people?  Only those that have been  "touched" know.  Are there places of magical power? Hell yeah, but you don't wanna go there.

Magic Level:  Magic is Low in the normal world, but High if we go "Underhill".  Will this work?

Situation:  What issues will the characters address?  What questions will the characters answer with their choices? You've been Gone for a while.  You're different, including being a bit messed up.  And, you can do weird things.  How do you go back to "normal"?  Can you?  What do people want from you, now?  What if They come back?

Villians: Who (or what) is the opposition?  What adversity will the characters face when we start playing?  Fairy tales are all lies, you here me?  I don't care what you have to read for school...it's just...it's wrong, okay?  And stay away from the creek!

Please comment, Chris Moore

Here are my thoughts on it:

I've got a good idea what this game is about: human people who have 'crossed over' and now can't interact with normal life. If that's not your group's intent, then the theme needs some rethinking. It sounds really interesting and fun, though.

That said, there are a couple of problem areas here:

Magic level: You'll have a hard time switching back and forth between the magic levels. I'd suggest instead setting the magic level in the moderate range and establishing a rule early on that magic doesn't work well in the normal world, with some mechanical consequences.

Villians: Who are the villains? Are there specific people trying to suppress knowledge of magic? If so, name them. Also, I would add some threat from the other side. What powerful fairy beings want to bring the characters back? What other plans might they have? You've implied a serious threat in the Magic section, so back it up here.

That's how I would improve it. Also, make sure that the characters are tied into this situation with their passions! The chargen text tells you to do that, but I thought I'd reiterate.

Sounds like a cool game!