Arright, here's my first attempt at an RPG.  Up until this point, I've been writing descriptions, back stories, and novelizations of my buddy's campaigns.  Granted, aside from being the guy who comes up with cool names for NPC's or realistic-sounding ancient languages (the trick is keeping the same amount of vowels in the same types of words) I'm not really a designer.  I add the flavor, the mood...the fluff.

So, if I'm going to start not sucking at this, I'm going to need some honest feedback.  Not the "first time go easy on me" feedback, but the "you don't plan on publishing this do you?" feedback that gets people better.

My goal is simple...literally.  This system is designed to be generic so that I can use it to publish all my supplementals, compendiums, and appendices as complete games.

So, here goes...

The Dice Mechanic uses a 2d10 roll + Modifiers.  Success is determined by a rolling over a target number and the degree of success is determined by the amount the roll exceeds the target number.

The Character Template is pretty straightforward.  Three simple stats, Body, Speed, and Mind define the characters.  When necessary for deeper character development, two sub-stats are added to each of the three primary stats.

Modifiers are tiered, requiring multiple purchases under the same core modifier (called a "talent") to obtain enhanced effects with higher degrees of success, to lessen the penalties of failure, or to simply get some flexibility out of the core modifer.

That's the basics.  I've got page upon page of grand plans for the design, but that'll wait until it's been determined this actually works.  I can add flavor to any system, but if I'm going to add it to my own...my own's gotta work.

So there goes.  Lemme know where I can shore this thing up so it holds water.

Well if you want people to be heavy handed, I'd say that there are at least a hundred indie and free RPGs with 2D10+mod vs TN. Im not quite sure I follow what exactly you mean by purchasing extra modifiers under a talent, at least I dont what you mean practically. Also watch out if you do use 2D10 that the modifiers arent so small that luck of the die means more than character individuality. But thats a balancing game everyone has to play.

Hi Scott,

What often happens with that set up is that the GM and player are not engaging the same thing. The old example is of the player rushing down the dock so he can catch the boat to the city of Zin. The city of Zin is the important thing for the player. But Blongor the orc is on the dock and he has to fight him to get past. Typically what happens is that the mechanics resolve the fight with Blongor, but whether the player gets to the boat is just decided arbitrarily. You can see what was important to the player (getting to the boat) wasn't actually handled by the system. Well, if he'd died it would have resolved that no, he doens't make it. But when he wins it resolves...well, absolutely nothing the player is interested in (he's not just interested in winning fights. The boat is the important thing).

Such a system will repeatedly ignore what the player actually cares about. Usually this results in the player ceasing to care about anything. If you see it as a problem as well, tell me what it brings to mind and we can go from there. :)

Congrats on taking the steps to moving forward with your first design, first I will give a suggestion then an opinion and leave it at that for now as its getting a bit late.

I can add flavor to any system, but if I'm going to add it to my own...my own's gotta work.

Seth wrote:
Ok first the suggestion, given this statement (and I may be wrong) but your looking to work up a draft for a system to use as a way to display your fiction. Now if this is the case you may not want to focus on game development, in favor of paying more attention to your own preferred work. There are a great deal of OGL products out there that you can easily pick and choose your preferred or even provide your fiction through multiple OGL systems.

Justin wrote:
Well if you want people to be heavy handed, I'd say that there are at least a hundred indie and free RPGs with 2D10+mod vs TN.

Wow, some really good feedback.  Lemme tell you how I'm using it.

The competition from every other simple mechanic is there, but you can't really concern yourself with the competition, so long as you aren't ripping them off.  The benefit is familiarity, hopefully, it'll allow players to easily pick up the game and get into the meaty parts of it.  I'll admit that the mechanic isn't innovative, but that's not exactly my strength so I'm going to concede the point on that one and stand out from the pack somewhere else.

I'm going to try to make character individuality a part of the character being built.  The modifier system wasn't expressed in any but the simplest terms, but modifiers are built into the character as closely as their own stats.  When a skill is played, it's first modifier is the character's stat, which determines the success/failure of the skill.  Now, skills are nested under talents so dual-wielding would be under the "swordplay" talent and pickpocketing would be nested under the "thievery" talent.  By taking small modifiers, but allowing them to "stack" against the success/failure roll as well as the outcome roll, they become large modifiers under certain favorable circumstances, or negated by unfavorable circumstances.  Extremely fortunate or unfortunate circumstances can multiply outcome rolls with tragic or exceptional results.

Call down lighting while standing in waist-deep water...you might get electrocuted.  Attempt to banish a ghost by using a holy icon designed for specifically that purpose...you'll like the results.  The GM has the burden of challenging the players with situations that test their characters, but again...why buck the system where it works for me?

I'm actually considering putting GM notes in the game to steer the GM towards the way a certain module or adventure would be officiated.  Something as simple as focusing on player goals by including a "focus on player goals" note in the margins should help.  As far as disallowing the mechanic to lend itself too easily to Hack n' Slash gameplay, that's a side effect of a generic system.

Arright...here's combat.

Combat is declared, either by the players or an NPC. 
The character declaring combat is given the advantage as aggressor.
The character responding to combat rolls to determine their readiness.
The aggressors select their targets.
Responsive targets contest the aggressive rolls, non-responsive targets react to the aggressive rolls.
**Responsive targets may retreat from combat as a counter-aggressive contest**

Unless the situation is truly dire and the opponent's skill or the circumstances of combat are such that disengaging is impossible, combat is not a last-man-standing engagement.  It is handled no differently than any other prolonged engagement.  A fighter fights until either he, his opponent, or both of them are unwilling or unable to continue.  Hacking a computer network, seducing a foreign dignitary, anything that can't be resolved in one roll is handled in this way.

Wounds are tracked instead of HP loss.  Critical damage either causes a wound or increases it's severity.  Normal damage lowers damage resistance.  In a prolonged fight, cumulative normal damage would cause severe wounding even without scoring a critical hit.  In short, fighting is unhealthy, it helps to finish it quickly or avoid it.

Of course, this being a generic system, a GM or designer could just yank the "escape clause" that lets characters disengage from combat and utilize a different skill and you'd have a last man standing model if you want one.  Disengaging from combat is a skill, not a rule, so you could just yank it if you wanted your combatants to stand and fight.  Yeah, it supports the rank-and-file combat system if you want it to, but it's generic.

As far as the path I'm taking.  It's good to know I'm gaining ground.  The Forge is a crucible filled with people who do this for a living so it's good to be able to get this kind of help.  My background is in coming up with the stories and lore of a game (I'd be happy to help out with the lore of a system if you explain it to me, I'd like to contribute where I can), but I'd like to give this a shot.