[center]VAGRANT STORIES
The Pie in the Gutter
And other Amazing Tales[/center]

This is a game about bums. Not your run-of-the-mill, hard-up, dime-a-dozen schmucks, but the senile sods who’ve lived on the streets so long that they’ve forgotten their own names; who’ve drunk themselves to the brink of the abyss and stared the darkness down; who’ve learned more cuss-words than could fit in any modern lexicon but can’t string two sane words together to save their lives.

They’re also the keepers of the world, holding together the fraying fabric of human civilisation. The greed, apathy and despair of the rabid body public breeds all manner of monsters (metaphorical and otherwise) that slink through the dark and curtained spaces outside of public view. But those spots have already been taken by the homeless, and they’re not about to share. It’s their job to keep the evilness back – not necessarily because they’re good at heart (though some are), but because they were here first.

[center]Flaws[/center]

Bums are unappealing sorts. They’re old, smelly, cantankerous and foul-mouthed, not to mention bat-crazy. Coincidentally (or not), those are their stats:

Old
Not one of these bastards is younger than forty, and many of them would (if only they could remember their age) put the Guinness Books to shame. Old applies to any situation where seniority, experience or physical inability would come into play. It’s also useful for getting people to feel sorry for you (and give you munny).

Seasoned
Frail
Wasting
Decrepit
Deathly

Smelly
It’s hard to stay clean without the basic amenities afforded most everyday folks, but some folks take it a step further. They reek. And it’s not just a temporary thing: the smelly stat reflects how bad they smell after only a full day unwashed. The smelliest bums can work psychological magics of aversion, confusion and fear with their stink, but they’re also not very pleasant to be around.

Malodorous
Stinky
Repugnant
Putrid
Vile

Cantankerous
You probably wouldn’t guess it, but these guys can fight like demons. They’re uncoordinated, sure, but they’re loud, angry and they’ve got a massive score to settle with the world. Cantankerous deals with causing chaos: kicking out patrol-car windows, laying the hurt down on the ungrateful youths and smashing up the scenery.

Grumpy
Cruel
Vicious
Inhuman
Monstrous

Foul-Mouthed
Most hobos are pretty civil when in public. It’s hard to get munny when you’re tossing expletives like candy on Fat Tuesday. But when the occasion calls for it, oh lordy how they cuss! Foul-mouthed governs diplomacy and intimidation. It’s also useful for making nuns blush and kiddies weep. (Note that just because they’re uncivil that doesn’t necessarily make them mean-spirited. That’s governed by Cantankerous)

Uncivil
Crude
Profane
Godless
Unholy

Crazy
Live out in the cold away from friends, family and generally good company for as long as some hobos, and you’ll see why they’re so often out of their damned minds. Either the loneliness eats away at you until you can’t remember what “you” even means, or you fill that social void with a fantasy of your own. All bums are kooky to some extent. Some are downright insane.

Weird
Senile
Loopy
Demented
Insane

Flaws are what the hard life has heaped upon you. They typically represent the way other people see you, not necessarily your self-image. In fact, you might consider yourself an entirely different person, but that’s largely irrelevant.

[center]Aptitudes[/center]

These are the good things you’ve picked up from your time on the streets. The bad news is, unlike your flaws, these are in limited supply.

Gumption
You’ve got balls. You’ve seen a lot of weird things in your life, and you’ve been emboldened by the experience. When you do something bold, impetuous or downright defiant, add some gumption to the task.

Charm
You’re frail, funny looking, you don’t smell real good and people have a hard time understanding what you’re saying. Nevertheless, you have this way of getting what you want. Stack this on top of Smelly when you want to gross people into avoiding you (or cantankerous to intimidate them). Stack it on Old to induce pity, and so on.

Sneakiness
For all-round skulking and hiding purposes. Be one with the city. Disappear.

Mojo
This is used to increase your sorcerous powers.

[center]Perks[/center]

These are the unique traits you had before you became a vagrant, or that are simply part of your nature. Some examples are:

Fought in the war
Cunning old bastard
Still knows a little soft shoe
Voice of an angel
Down-and-out pugilist

You can theoretically have bad perks, as stupid as the idea is.

[center]Dark Majikc[/center]

Sometimes the supernatural terrors nipping at your ankles get a little too much to handle. At this point, maybe it’s time to fight fire with fire. Dark Majikc is the unholy art of corrupting human intentions and unshackling the ravenous Beast beyond the Curtain. There are five flavours of darkness:

Necromancy
Communicating with the dead, raising corpses, preserving bodies and possibly even resurrection. The older you are, the better you are at necromancy.

Terror Magic
Inspiring fear, disgust, doubt or contempt in another human being are all the provinces of Terror magic. Smelly people are good at Terror Magic.

The Ancient Zen Art of Flipping Out
Putting the rage on, causing massive chaos and just being a general all-round arsehole are all part of the Ancient Zen Art of Flipping Out. Cantankerous folk are good at this.

Demagoguery
This is the magic of subliminally convincing people to do what you want them to do. They invariably think it was their idea – after all, who listens to homeless guys? The fouler your mouth, the better you’ll do with Demagoguery.

Nihilomancy
The Abyss gazeth back. This is the sinister art of parting the Dark Curtain and beholding the Unhappy Face of the Cosmos. It’s also a sure-fire way to send yourself and others irredeemably nuts. Naturally, crazy people are good at this.

[center]The Life of a Bum[/center]

These are the miscellaneous activities you’ll be performing in your daily task of keeping yourself alive.

Restraint
This is how you reign yourself in and adopt some pretence of normality. Scrub yourself for a few hours and temporarily reduce your stink. Remind yourself of the principles of “civil living” and reign in your filthy tongue. Listen to a busking violinist play Claire de Lune and calm your cantankerous nerves. And so on.

You lose both the benefits and drawbacks of any reduced flaw.

Begging
Spend a few hours begging for change. This’ll get you enough munny to get drunk, or eat a subsistence-level meal.

Spending Munny
At the end of a day’s begging, roll a d6. On anything other than a 6, you get to do what you want your money. On a 6, you must spend all of the money you’ve saved on booze. This is probably the reason why you’re still a bum.

Getting Drunk
A single point of Munny will buy you enough booze to get drunk, which is how you aggravate your flaws. For every point of drunkenness you possess, roll a d6. The results are as follows:

1-Get older
2-Get smellier
3-Get more cantankerous
4-Get more foul-mouthed
5-Get crazier
6-A fellow player selects the aggravated flaw and you roll again.

If you keep rolling sixes, it’s entirely possible that you’ll drink yourself into oblivion from a single bottle of low-grade liquor. But booze has its own special magic:

Communion
The drunker you are, the closer you are to the Gods. For every three levels of drunkenness you reach, you can Commune with one spirit or get one Brilliant Idea. Oh, and you also gain a poison level (see below). That’s the price of enlightenment.

Fine Dining
If you spend all of your money on booze, then you’ll have to scrounge for food in dumpsters and the like. You always succeed, but depending on the quality of the food you can count on being Poisoned or Dead. Roll a d6:

1-The food is bad, but harmless. You’re no better or worse than you were before.
2-This is gross. 1 poison level.
3-Ugh! 1 poison level.
4-It’s hard to slide it down without gagging. 2 poison levels.
5-You puke about half of it back up. 2 poison levels.
6-This must be what hell feels like. 3 poison levels.

Poison levels take effect the next day. Every day you lose a poison level (but you might also gain new ones if you eat more shitty food). If you ever reach ten poison levels, you’re Dead. The more Poisoned you are, the less effort you can commit to tasks.

Taboos
A bum is always unemployed. They can do chores to get themselves a little munny on the side, but it’s only ever enough to keep themselves alive (or get drunk; see above), and it’s never official work (or legally sanctioned). Whoever’s paying you is always taking advantage of your labour and short-changing you. You never come out on top. If you ever stop being a vagrant, you’re out of the game.

NOTES:
It should be pretty clear that I’m missing a lot in the way of mechanics for this game. The idea behind flaws is that they’re the ugly side-effects of homeless life, but they’re also the way folks get things done in this sordid underworld. The characters sort of bumble through their lives, and the same things that can hinder them (muttering unintelligibly) can help them (making thoughts incomprehensible to mind-reading aliens).

So what this game needs is a mechanic for using each flaw in both positive and negative ways, and for the expenditure of Aptitude. I have some ideas, which I’ll post in the first update, but until then I am eager to hear what y’all think.

Inspirations
My first inspiration for this very silly game was a documentary about the homeless that I saw recently. Though a serious topic, the blatant melodrama and sensationalism of the piece made it impossible to connect with the issue; all it did was give me this stupid idea. My main RPG inspirations are the following totally awesome games:

Unknown Armies
Panty Explosion

Enjoy!

A few extra titbits...

This game isn't about a White-Wolf style world of darkness.  It's about the monsters engendered by civilisation's own ill mind: demons of lust and material gain, cosmetic zombies, angry telekinetic welfare moms (think Carrie, only 35 and a mother of three), unholy solicitors from beyond the stars... the bums are looking out for the society that crushed their spirits, saving a materialist world from itself.

And amid all that, they've got to deal with their own shitty lives: the drugs, the booze, the kids who never answer their calls, and a thousand other vexations that put any trashcan killbot to shame.

Essential to any vagrant is their history.  Basically, why they're a bum, what they love more than anything, what they hate with a burning passion, what their 'knack' was (the special something they had before they lost everything; something they'll never get back but which is reflected in their perks), and what has tied them to the supernatural war against the Beast beyond the Curtain.

This might not be too worth while, but there's a video RPG done by Square called Vagrant Story... You might want to change the name to something else.