All,
  My game is inspired by Harry Potter and other such magical fantasies.
You can see my working Draft here:
https://docs.google.com/document/pub?id=1EsslLQ4dSs8CwzH6bkV9XJg0W5nFDlqM8cUm5Wv4naY
I am finishing up the first draft tonight (hopefully).

Thoughts?

Also, I need a better name for the game.
I was thinking Journeyman Magi and the Unexpected Mystery, but it seems a little too cliche...

Could you give an example or a diagram of the dominoes thing. I was confused, and though I didn't spend a long time trying to puzzle it out, I doubt if its intended to be that opaque (of course, could just be me).

Edge of Magic would be a cool name, IMO.

I am not good at art, is this sufficient?
[img]https://docs.google.com/drawings/pub?id=1jt2f249t6XcD6H-p6LBQ-h8JJoYypBTtwG0hHHUytRI&w=252&h=100[/img]

Yes. I would totally include something like that in your rules text. I was trying to force the way you actually play dominoes onto what you were doing, which was totally my mistake, but one i could see other people making.

Thanks for the feedback.
Any ideas about these terms:
Story Tokens: These are used to solve the Mystery
Unassigned Pool: These are where the Tokens live until they are awarded
Tokens Value: This is the side of the domino assigned to Token Rewards
Narration Value: This is the side of the token assigned to Narration rewards.
Unplayed Domino Pool: This is a pool of dominoes that are not in a player's hand.
Narrator: The GM, I want a more Potter-esque term...

They are all so dry, I want to spice them up if I can. I think these are the big sticklers. Let me know if you have any suggestions?

Are you asking what I think about the mechanics or what I think those things should be called? If its the later I'm always torn on this in my own design, do I give the element in question an evocative name or a clear one? I mean, Token Pool is pretty unambiguous, but also bland. As soon as I get the updated version of my game out I plan on really looking and commenting on as much of other people's material as I can manage, so I'll give it another read through then and see if I can't suggest some alternate name.

As an aside... I love the use of dominoes, very clever and its always neat to have something to new to play around with.

Nolan,
  Thanks. Yeah, I want new names. I "think" the mechanics are pretty tight. But the names are so vanilla.
  I don't even have good ideas for improved names yet. When you post yours, I will give it a goods read though.

I know it doesn't matter what I think, really, but I prefer vanilla names.  Some of the more 'colorful' names for things like this just seem gimmicky and make me roll my eyes. 

Anyway, obviously it's important to write stuff you like.  But you know, if you don't get around to it, or don't come up with anything you like, I've just provided an excuse.

I'll send you across my domino font if it'll make things easier for you...

Mike,
  Thanks. Also, do you know of a good online tool for dominoes? the only playtest group I can muster this week is over skype...

Darla,
  I only like stylish names, if they are still functional, like Fate Points or Hero Points, tells you a lot about what the points do, right?

dindenver wrote:
Also, do you know of a good online tool for dominoes?

While I have no attention span right now and can't process long text, I love your use of dominoes. I just got a set and was wondering what I could do with them!

Shreyas,
  Thanks, it was inspired by the few times we played otherkind together. Originally, I was just going to have one side be offense and the other defense, but that seemed to detract from the key points of mystery and comradery I was building into the game.

Mike,
  I did find a decent solution, VASSAL and the piecepack module. It let's you play dominoes anywhere on a virtual table and deal out however many you like to different players. I only got a short time to monkey around with it last night, but it seemed well suited for our purposes.