Disclaimer: I've been lurking here for awhile now, signed up for an account a little while ago, and am now finally posting something. If I dropped this in the wrong place I'll gladly accept any chastisement and issue a formal apology.

Summary: I just put out the 3rd Version Draft of Danger Close, an espionage game I designed, and am looking for more feedback.

History: About six months ago I started writing a hack for John Wick's Wilderness of Mirrors. That hack quickly grew out of control and shaped into a game all its own. After the first version was done we ran a play-test session and then promptly changed half of the system. We then play-tested that and changed another fourth of the system. I'm on the third version now and am more confidant that I've cleared out the glaring faults. As such, I'm curious to hear what you chaps have to say about it. I've also already talked with John about potentially stepping on his toes and he didn't have any problems with what I was doing.

Goal: I ran into Ron briefly at GenCon and he encouraged me to bring my game over for him and Vincent to look at. I then got busy and never managed to make it back to their booth. I figured I'd at least bring my creation over to the Forge and see if I can't get some more insight here. I'm just hoping to get more feedback.

Game: You can get the latest version of Danger Close on my blog or just download it directly here.

Hello and welcome,

No apologies necessary! Nor chastisement. (boy, that's scary; what is this, the Red Guard? anyway)

It just so happens that this thread is better suited to the Connections forum, and I'll put it there after a while. This is not a big deal.

I'll check out the game for sure.

Best, Ron

Allow me to hang my head in shame. Failed on my first post.

Thanks though. I'm really curious to see what some more experienced designers and critics have to say.

Welcome, nice to see you again.  I was Jagash over at Shadownessence.

Anywho, I don't have the brainpower at this point to critique the mechanics or descriptions, but I can at least give one layout tip.  White space seems a tad scarce in your draft.    The big chunky paragraphs full of goodness seem crowded in places.  The dedication/inspirations page in particular needs some kind of gutter between the columns, else they blur into illegibility.   

I don't mean to be overly critical, just that on the flip test my first impression of the game is overly complex and claustrophobic.  Once I get a chance to read it over and analyze the game in more detail, I will provide some more constructive feedback.

Cheers!

Jason wrote: Welcome, nice to see you again.  I was Jagash over at Shadownessence.

Jason wrote: Anywho, I don't have the brainpower at this point to critique the mechanics or descriptions, but I can at least give one layout tip.  White space seems a tad scarce in your draft.    The big chunky paragraphs full of goodness seem crowded in places.  The dedication/inspirations page in particular needs some kind of gutter between the columns, else they blur into illegibility.   

I don't mean to be overly critical, just that on the flip test my first impression of the game is overly complex and claustrophobic.  Once I get a chance to read it over and analyze the game in more detail, I will provide some more constructive feedback.

I understand completely; I have relatively little layout experience myself as is made evident by my Game Chef entry.  Your use of icons is particularly handy/appropriate though.