Here's a link to the current draft of my game chef game. The layout is... well, I'm having a friend step in and help me.

I'm curious if:

You have a better name for this thing.

What seems fun to you.

What seems unfun to you.

If you think you could play this just by reading the lines at the beginning.

If you think you could play this by reading all the text involved (basically, do you have any questions not explicitly answered by the text).

Any thoughts you could give me would be eaten by a hungry feedback monster (me).

http://www.mediafire.com/view/?rvi2h7kn76ygzc0

Excuse the nasty mediafire thing.

I'm om a mobile device right now and can't view the file ATM, but the name is evocative enough to get me interested.  But honestly, the name never matters as much as the game itself.  Can you briefly tell me what the game is about?

Peace,

Troy

hey, I've just read your game and I found it really enjoyable!

the name it's ok, honestly right now I can't think of something else.
the game looks fun to play and the way you set the tone really sucks you in, so you just want to play at once.
after reading the premise I felt like I was really into something and all the part concerning the mechanic just felt "natural".
I mean, at that point, you are completely in the mood to play the game, so you just go with the flow: you really think you are the fox/dog/wolf/coyote talking about people. You left the "player" outside to dip yourself into the story you are going to create.

I hope my comments will be in someway useful to you, anyway as soon as I set up a session I'll provide you a deeper feedback about the mechanics (at first glance they seem serving fine the purpose).
keep on!
(sorry for my baaaaaad english)
L.

Four masks will make us Fox, Dog, Wolf and Coyote. A flashlight will be our lantern. Gathered around the fire at the end of the world, we will watch the stars go out and decide what the best thing about people was. Coyote won’t talk. Mostly.

Make it dark. Everyone grab a mask and put it on. Light a few candles. Give Coyote the flashlight. Read the pitch above about the end of the world. Get everyone a copy of the lines and start reading them.

Docere Fox: You’re right, Coyote. Now that people are gone, only our shared memories of them matter. We will mix those in a story to teach what the best thing about people was.

Dog: I loved people; I’ll mimic one and show Fox how great they were. I’ll lift off my face and talk as a person and describe their actions so you can learn firsthand the great things about people.

Wolf: I hated people; I’ll mimic one too and show you all how rotten they were.

Coyote: I always liked people. One time I-

Wolf: (Interrupts) Hold on. If Coyote liked people, then I’m not doing this. Stories always go Coyote’s way.

Docere Fox: Then Coyote won’t talk. Is that fair?

Wolf: Yes.

Docere Fox: Since I’m still neutral about people, I’ll start and end the story. I’ll show at least two people, at one time, at one place, in a common situation. First Dog, and then Wolf, will transform into one of the people and explain who they are. I’ll transform to mimic anyone else necessary. The three of us will lift off our faces and we’ll talk just like people and describe our person-like actions. I’ll let you all know when I’ve heard enough.

Wolf: And Coyote won’t talk.

Docere Fox: Right. Coyote won’t talk. All agreed?

Dog: Yes.

Wolf: Yes.

Coyote: (Stands up and moves behind Fox, shining the flashlight on the top of Fox’s head). Coyote will just use the lantern to present the thoughts of others out loud.

Wolf: That’s cheating, Fox!

Coyote: Coyote won’t be talking. That was what we agreed. (No longer shining the flashlight on Fox, Coyote takes his seat).

Docere Fox: We’ll begin after a moment of silent respect for all those people. (Nice long pause. Fox then reveals a place, a time, at least two people and the common situation they find themselves in).

Dog: (Lifts his face off to look more like a person and then explains the first mimicked person).

Wolf: (Lifts his face off to look more like a person and then explains the second mimicked person).

(The Story begins. Dog, Wolf and Fox talk and describe their actions. Coyote uses the flashlight as a lantern to broadcast the thoughts of Fox, Dog and Wolf and their mimicked people, but does not talk as a person or describe any actions.)

…………………

Docere Fox: I’ve heard enough. Stop mimicking and put your faces back on. (Pauses to let all replace their masks).

Coyote: (Douses one candle ).

Docere Fox: People had flaws, but the best thing about them was ____ (Fox explains what was learned from the story). However, there are still a few stars left (Gestures at the remaining candles). Maybe we could try again. Since I’m still neutral about people, I’ll start and end the story. I’ll show at least two people, at one time, at one place, in a common situation. First Dog, and then Wolf, will transform into one of the people and explain who they are. I’ll transform to mimic anyone else necessary. The three of us will lift off our faces and we’ll talk just like people and describe our person-like actions. I’ll let you all know when I’ve heard enough.

Wolf: And Coyote won’t talk.

Docere Fox: Right. Coyote won’t talk. We’ll begin after a moment of silent respect for all those people. (Nice long pause).

(Continue to tell stories in the same manner, with Wolf, Dog and Fox mimicking, and Coyote broadcasting thoughts, until there are no more candles lit. Then stop and do something else. )

Troy, I just posted the first couple of pages for you and anyone else who doesn't want to download that nasty mediafire thing. Although there are some play aids and a couple more pages of "How to Prep" and advice and such, the whole game it pretty much right there.

Leonard, thank you so much for your comments.

I agree with Leonard, you do a great job of jumping right into the games world, and I definitely felt drawn in and ready to play. It's also an effective way to transition the players into getting into their roles, and great for anyone who would rather jump right into the game without having to sit around and read the rules first.

I really can't think of any complaints, this is a beautiful concept and it's well written. I also enjoy your light humor injected into the questions at the end, combined with gently managing any frustrations that might come up, like a friend telling us, "It's no big deal, we'll still have fun."

I can also see some of your inspirations here and I feel like you've grown and learned a lot as a designer since last Game Chef.

As far as a name, Coyote Won't Talk is good, it's mysterious enough to create interest, and then it has a nice payoff when it gets repeated in the text. The only other thing I can think of is something that mentions that people are gone, Something like, "Sometimes we still talk about people." or "We haven't forgotten people". But yeah, Coyote Won't Talk is good.

Thanks for your comments, Orion. I'm starting to stress less about the name. Although I am still open to suggestions.

A little thing I didn't mention in our playtest session, I was slightly confused that mimic meant transform into meant play in scenes (but not faithfully, only wearing their skin).

Yeah... I'm confused about that difference myself. I guess... it's like... they transform their faces to look more human and then mimic the words and actions of people to each other. I'm trying to pull off that same My Daughter Queen of France thing where you are an actor and the character they are playing because I really like that space. Also, it's not confusing. There's like a void there. Full of fruits. I'm a real grown up game designer.

Mathalus wrote:
Here's a link to the current draft of my game chef game. The layout is... well, I'm having a friend step in and help me.

I'm curious if:

You have a better name for this thing.

What seems fun to you.

What seems unfun to you.

If you think you could play this just by reading the lines at the beginning.

If you think you could play this by reading all the text involved (basically, do you have any questions not explicitly answered by the text).

Any thoughts you could give me would be eaten by a hungry feedback monster (me).

http://www.mediafire.com/view/?rvi2h7kn76ygzc0

Excuse the nasty mediafire thing.

It matters a lot why the people are gone, but that question could be answered during game play, but doesn't have to be. We'll figure it out one way other another in a few months, amirite?

HOLY SHIT I JUST READ THIS THREAD AND THIS GAME IS PERFECT AND THE NAME IS PERFECT AND I GET THE IDEA OF WEARING THEIR SKINS AND MIMICKING AND I MUST PLAY THIS RIGHT NOW

Here's the version I submitted to game chef:

https://docs.google.com/open?id=0B1i-9Dgf-sKNQ0ZHdVRFQTRUQ3M

The final design looks great. Give whoever helped you a pat on the back!

Aaron Gaponoff was a real trooper. I bugged him on Thursday and said, "Um, can you make this prettier? By Saturday?"

He did so, because that is his Way.