Okay, let's hear it.

What is the twinkiest/cheesiest/most min/maxed character that you will admit to having played?

What game was it in?

What made this character so bad?

Did you enjoy playing it?

Did others object to you playing it?


Stuart

Bob Homoginize, rival to that pathetic excuse for a milk scientist Louis Pasture. He stole my work and gets all the credit.

Call of Cthulu. Yes, I enjoyed playing him - but he was just one big running joke.

My very first character. Playing D&D, and the only gaming book I'd read was GURPS, and I was under the impression that 'interesting character' meant 'quirky'.

And, um, kinda took 'quirky' to the point of 'insanity'. I ended up with a pyromaniac ecoterrorist sorcerer-cook who was afraid of the dark and clowns, fought with enchanted cutlery, and had nothing but the most useless spells. (Oh, did I mention that at the time I also mistook 'not making a combat-effective character' for 'being a better roleplayer'?) He died two or three times, did nothing useful unless the entire party was roped into it, and mostly annoyed other PCs. I think his best (worst?) moment was when, during the dramatic prophetic dream sequence where a god asked us to help her, my PC and another PC spent the entire time bickering with each other in the dream to the point of telling the god to shut up, they were busy fighting.

It was kinda enjoyable in the "I've never gamed before, this is neat!" sense, but beyond that, not the greatest experience ever.

Grakvar, grey elf wizard of ill repute and powerful magicks in Rolemaster.

Oh, yes, I munchkined out in amazing ways. At around 20th level, Grakvar became a lich, but retained all his spell-casting abilities. At around 30th level, he started learning how to be the world's greatest sword-fighter as well as an amazing wizard. At 40th level (I shit you not), he learned the secret to transform himself into an ice dragon at will, which the Vulfen fighter-bad-ass in the party would ride into battle.

One of Grakvar's major plans was to clear out hell of all the major demons and run it himself. He thought his house (built out of a mountain he hollowed out) just wasn't big enough. He never quite pulled it off, though.

Well I have this friend. He sometimes runs games. I am known far and wide (well amongst like 10 people) to be the role-playing guru. Not only that I'm this guy's best friend. Well, sometimes these add up to some awkward situations.

Situation 1) Twist-Top
This was a cross-over World of Darkness game, there was this elder Malkavian NPC named Iggy. I didn't play Twist-Top until my third character. Twist-Top was invented by Iggy. He's an android, whose head unscrews (this never actually came into play). He was immensely strong. So strong that WEREWOLVES! quivered in fear from his might. He was also incredibly fast and so forth and so on. Well this guy wanted me to play him, and I tried to get him to tone down his abilities, but he said, "Eh, I know you won't abuse it." I was ashamed of playing such a overpowered character. Poor werewolf who wouldn't behave. Poor poor werewolf.

Situation 2) Nikkie
I wanted to make a character that was based off of one of this guy's older characters. She is basically a cyborg. I designed the character normally (this was Star Wars d20). Then gave it to this guy so he could do any changes (cybernetics aren't really a big thing in Star Wars) that I would have. I got it back and I almost collapsed from the power. I played it nevertheless (well it was my character) and tried to hide how strong she was, some of the older players (who are really into the old school ideas of game balance, team play, and anti-metagaming) started to notice. This made me uncomfortable and ashamed of my massively cool character (well not really :P).

-Joshua

I am frightfully ashamed of the character I had just before my I quit the game. I was trying to "show 'em" I guess when it would be best to just stop because I wasn't having any fun. I'm ashamed as hell about that.

I am ashamed of playing the Obstetrician character from the original In Utero demo as it was written up by Paul and Scott. Not because of any twinkieness. Just because of what happened in-game. I blame Ron, Paul and Scott. :-)

Mike

I have so many characters to be ashamed of, I've lost track. I don't think it was until my mid-20's I started really role-playing and trying to make a character interesting between the guidelines presented by the game.

But then again, that's what most games demanded.

I suppose I should post mine before the forum closes.

Caleb Albertszen (later Milliner, still later Giovanni)

I got back into roleplaying in grad school (I'd done a bit of Rolemaster and Champions in college, and a lot of stuff before that) through a vampire LARP (in One World by Night). I'd heard of them and wanted to try it out.

My first character was a Gangrel. After playing him for a couple months, he ended up as Prince of the city. It was an accident, really. I didn't enjoy the princedom: it made it impossible to pursue my own story (which I had planned on being non-political ::sigh::).

So I declared that my next character would be non-political. A nearby city had just been 'liberated from the Sabbat.' I decided to play a revenent on the run. My Storyteller insisted that I be on a Path of Enlightenment. There's a story behind that, but I ended up on Power and the Inner Voice, focusing upon being the perfect servant.

I fully expected the character to last for, maybe, a month. He wore a skirt, had facial tattoos (that changed), talked like a naughty child, and didn't hesitate when asked what happened to his last master to tell the inquiring vampires that he put a stake through her heart and cut of her head. My first couple games were great fun.

Then the Giovanni got a hold of me.

They decided I would be their special little tool. I had to look and act the part, though. They made me wear a suit. They made me look them in the eye (I naturally stared at the floor). They told me I was better than others.

Being on the Path of Power and the Inner Voice, I tested my limits. I started telling the (very highly respected) Giovanni who I had been assigned to what to do. She listened to me.

That was the end of it.

I ended up getting embraced by an even more respected Giovanni (whom I chose myself), marrying into the family for legitimacy, and taking control of a major branch of the Giovanni family organization.

It was just so wrong.

(although, I will say that the combination of Vicissitude and Necromancy was a whole lot of fun...)

Stuart

Oh, there are a couple. Let's see...

Okay, Quacky Kantaro, the kobold beserker I played in an AD&D 2nd game online; totally delusional character, he regularly challeneged inanimate objects to duels and proceeded to hack them to pieces with the broadsword that was bigger than he was.

Then there was Sunbow, the trippy hippy Nosferatu that I played in a WoD LARP. His attempt to create a breeding pool (which was itself inspired by someone who was out of game but still involved in the conversation myself and another character were having IC, which we decided meant he was a hallucination of our) resulted in the domain being overrun by uncontrolled, ghouled, giant cockroaches.

Then there was the Nos I made who was short, really stocky with lots of stamina and potence, who was Embraced in the dark ages and was skilled in smithing. His concept as written on the character sheet? AD&D Dwarf.