Well, I'm finally beginning to get ReCoil into something resembling a finished format, but I'm having my doubts with layout. I think it looks alright, but perhaps a little... drab. Of course, I know it's not going to look immensely exciting without artwork, and the first "full-up" product won't have any, but I'm not sure if it's just the lack of artwork, or if the lay-out itself could be made to look a bit more.. dynamic.

Well, take a look.

This chapter, while very short, is a good example of how I currently intend the rest of the book to look. Also, I'm beginning to think I might touch 25-30 pages, tops even with the running story, charts and actual examples of play which will fill it out, so this won't be a hefty book.

Any suggestions on improving the layout of the pages would be appreciated.

OK, initial impressions.

The use of grey makes it look drab. This may be the effect you're shooting for.

I'm not wild about the block under the title "introduction" The look of a big grey block might work for Ten Commandments the RPG, but here it seem...much. On second look I notice the swirl pattern on the block. Change the graphic to remove the block but leave the swirl and see how it looks. Try the swirl with a white background as well.

The text looks kind of blocky and workmanlike

The third page looks horrible with barely 12 lines on it and lots of white space. If you break up page 2 with art or something, you could get more text on page 3. Whatever you do, fill that space.

First off, you've got a fine start. The layout is such that it does convey an identity, a vision. The problem I often see with PDF games is that the layout has no visions -- they're often utilitarian and quite readable, but often boring and do not help the game's vision in any way. That turns me off, thought it's less of an issue with others I'm sure.

So, with that starter, here are some issues to consider:

You've got a border that bleeds to the edge, plus folio bits (titles, page numbers) that edge right up to the border of the page. How will this document be used? If you intend for it to be printed on people's printers, much of the border and important bits of your "navigational" text will get cropped in the print out.

Also, you've got very little space between the edge of text and the graphical border. Give it some breathing room -- this is way too tight. In fact, give everything a bit more breathing room. This is better than crammed text. You're creating a PDF, so space is hardly an issue. You've got all the space in the world. Use it. Generous negative space will actually HELP you in a document with no art. (Oh, and you do have art with these graphics and borders -- you just don't have illustrations or images. You're still ahead of the pack, I say).

On type: Your typeface certainly is evocative. It has a very techie feel. However, I find it very hard to read as body copy. Perhaps you could go with a simpler typeface and use this one for "color" -- subheads, quoted passages, and that kind of thing.

Also, you’ve got these columns force justified. That's fine, but one effects is that you get some really ugly word spacing. For example, the last two paragraphs on the second pages just BEFORE the final "blackbar" graphic -- these two paragraphs have huge gaps between words. You might try to adjust the tracking / kerning to make these work a bit better.

Nitpicky bit -- why is the large swirling graphic with "introduction" have a bevel? It appears as a raised button. Why? I don't think this is necessary -- the large graphic already makes that image / section jump out. The shadowed bevel / raised look just seems to be redundant. I think it'd actually look better flat or perhaps with a funky edged border, like brushed strokes, static-like fade out, or something similar.

Jack,

The use of grey is mostly a matter of printing. I would like to see the book in print one day, and I'm aware that it's a lot more expensive to use color... so I'm using greyscale and black and white, because that's what it'll eventually look like.

I'll see what I can do with the block. I can see your point about lightening it up, and removing the bevel effect. The image is a modification of the one I'm using (in a pretty light blue-green) as a background for the character sheet.

Matt,

I thought about the edging, so I did a test-print, without any sort of modification in the print settings. It did not crop the edges, it just sort of shrank the image down a bit, and left a white margin all around.. Somewhat frustrating, as I didn't want the margin, I wanted it printed clear to the edge. It's possible this was a fluke, however.. As for usage, I intend to distribute the "final" copy as a free-pdf at first, and print out a few spiral bound copies (ashcans, I believe they call them on the Forge) for distribution hardcopy.

As for breathing room, I can see the sense in that. I'll move it in a bit more. It'll also help kill a bit more of that blank area Jack mentions on the final page, as would a little interior art.. when I can collect enough to make it worthwhile.

As for the type, it's one I'm quite fond of. Despite the fact that the game deals with souls and some very supernatural topics, it still has a very techy feel to me. I dunno why. I'll experiment with a few other ideas for body copy, though, and see how it turns out.

::mutters something about force justification, thinking it was only regular justified::

As for the coil graphic, I did it bevel because it looked out of place just normal. I'm going to try a few things with it though, so we'll see what the second attempt looks like.

Thanks a bunch, guys.

I thought about the edging, so I did a test-print, without any sort of modification in the print settings. It did not crop the edges, it just sort of shrank the image down a bit, and left a white margin all around.. Somewhat frustrating, as I didn't want the margin, I wanted it printed clear to the edge. It's possible this was a fluke, however..

For books and brochures that have a "bleed" to the edge they actually print it on bigger paper and trim it down to normal size. If you want to do that with your print version, it'll probably add a bit to the price.

A little messing around with layout, incorporating most of the suggestions here, as I can.. But I'm not finding any other font that I like with it. Does anyone else find the font I am using as the body copy difficult to read? If it's only one man's opinion, then I'd like to keep it, but if it's a common thing, I'll bow to good sense and find something else.

Lance:

I think if you've incorporated most of the other ideas, you can slack in one or two areas. The goal is for it to be readable. If you really want to use that font, make sure you reinforce the other ease-of-reading elements.

Second on the typeface. Honestly, I think that body copy shouldn't be "evocative" or in any way interesting, visually; it alomst unfailingly detracts from its readability. Look at House of Leaves, for example. Fascinating book, but a nightmare to just sit down and doodle through; it takes participation to read. Similarly, anything except a proportional, serifed typeface is a mental effort to read for long periods of time, particularly if you're going to do something like what you have, where a naturally monospace font is pulled in all directions by justification.

I fully support its use as a titling font, though. It's interesting and highly legible, in small doses.

Shreyas Sampat wrote: Similarly, anything except a proportional, serifed typeface is a mental effort to read for long periods of time, particularly if you're going to do something like what you have, where a naturally monospace font is pulled in all directions by justification.