Forum changes: Editing of posts has been turned off until further notice.
Started by Ben Lehman, July 01, 2004, 01:55:36 PM
Quote from: lumpleyAlso: how'd the "How to GM" chapter do for you?-Vincent
Quote from: lumpleyYeah, I'm writing to Betty. All that remains for Adam is the opening three or four paragraphs.-Vincent
Quote from: Ben LehmanSeperatelyThe colloquialism -- it's fine, but perhaps a bit overused.
Quote from: Ben LehmanIt is never, ever a good idea to toot your own horn (this game's resolution system rocks on toast) in prose form. I don't know why, but in prose it just sounds worse. It is even worse for older RPGers, who have seen (and been let down by) this claim many times.
Quote from: Ben LehmanI think I want the setting earlier. At least, some parts of the setting. Some idea of what it means to patrol the faithful. I don't even know who they are until I'm done with the conflict resolution section, and by that time, I'm really confused.
Quote from: Ben LehmanOn coats: The parenthetical phrase "I have this picture in my head" is just awkward. I would change it to "there is a..." Wham! You've just given the GM a great NPC for the training scenes that they can also safely ignore if they want to. You can even say: This guy doesn't have to exist, he's just cool enough that he ought to.
Quote from: Ben LehmanWhy are there no Indian women in the Dogs? Is it a whole thing where the female dogs' role is social, and indians don't fit into society? That setting bit just gets under my skin, for some reason probably having to do with my liberal upbringing...
Quote from: Ben LehmanI feel that the "That shopkeeper from back east" needs some sort of introduction. Very sudden. I find this a lot in your writing. It's not bad, necessarily, just potentially confusing.
Quote from: Ben LehmanSeriously -- skip the design manifesto. I know that Ron does it in Sorcerer, but here I don't think it works.
Quote from: Ben LehmanIt falls in with the "rocks on toast" thing. If people play the game, and play it like you tell them, they'll get that out of the game. If people don't want that, they won't like the game from the second they read the mechanics. I just don't see why this is here at all.
Quote from: lumpleyHe and I mean a "what movies to watch" section. It'll go at the end with the acknowledgements.-Vincent