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Baileyfield Branch - Looking for a critical eye
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Topic: Baileyfield Branch - Looking for a critical eye (Read 2547 times)
caramida
Member
Posts: 8
Baileyfield Branch - Looking for a critical eye
«
on:
March 13, 2006, 01:22:31 PM »
Ok. This is my first attempt at creating a Branch of my own. Is this grabby enough for an first Branch for a new group? Should I instead use one of the many towns already written to introduce the players to
Dogs
.
Pride:
Brother Josephus is a prosperous farmer. He believes his daughter, Obedience, is too good for young suitors, wants to marry his daughter off to Steward Willem, as Steward Willem's second wife.
Injustice:
Young Brother Micah, a cobbler and Obedience's childhood best friend wishes to ask for her hand, but is terribly afraid to do so. He fears if he were to say anything, that Brother Josephus would forbid her to see him at all.
Sin:
Obedience and Micah are seeing one another in semi-secret. The children have not sinned, per se, as their relationship is heretofore innocent, but Brother Habakkuk Bailey, a farmer, recently saw them together and in covering for the two, he told Brother Josephus he had not seen her at all. A tiny innocent lie, but a lie nonetheless.
Demonic Attacks:
Corn blight has ruined a great deal of Brother Habakkuk's expected harvest. Townsfolk have burned breaks around the blighted fields, but they fear the blight may continue to spread.
NPCs:
Brother Josephus, proud of his daughter, wants the Dogs to perform Obedience's wedding to Steward Willem.
Steward Willem wants the Dogs to go away and leave his Branch in peace. Believes he can handle the Branch without aid from outsiders.
Obedience loves Br. Micah, her best friend, but hasn't quite realized that the feelings she has for him are perhaps romantic. She wants the Dogs to convince her father not to marry her off to the old Steward.
Br. Micah, wants to marry Obie, and wants the Dog's help.
Br. Habakkuk wants the Dogs to help with the blight. Doesn't understand that his little fib could have brought down demonic attacks.
The demons want someone, anyone, blamed for the corn blight and seek to place everyone in a bad light. They also want Obedience and Micah to consummate their growing relationship.
If the dogs didn't show, Br. Micah would convince Obedience to run away with him, with Brother Habakkuk's aid. The blight will spread to other fields and threaten the whole Branch. Demons will raise the stakes and with the intent of destroying the Branch entire.
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lumpley
Administrator
Member
Posts: 3453
Re: Baileyfield Branch - Looking for a critical eye
«
Reply #1 on:
March 13, 2006, 01:52:40 PM »
Hey, welcome!
Right now, the Dogs can solve the whole problem by blessing the cornfield and marrying the two kids - too easy. So if it were me I'd maybe have it so that Steward Willem really badly wants Sister Obedience for a second wife. Or maybe I'd have it so that Sister Obedience
isn't
interested in Br. Micah, but in some other young man. Maybe both!
But then, my advice would be to keep everything you've got and carry it all the way up to sorcery, with hate and murder looming. Maybe introduce another farmer, so afraid of the blight that he's started preaching against Br. Habakkuk or pestering Steward Willem to disfellowship Br. Habakkuk in some way. He gathers his two brothers and their wives, and that's a cult...
Anyway yeah, for new groups, I strongly recommend a town up to sorcery at least. You've got a solid start on one, just keep climbing.
-Vincent
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caramida
Member
Posts: 8
Re: Baileyfield Branch - Looking for a critical eye
«
Reply #2 on:
March 13, 2006, 02:46:05 PM »
Quote
Anyway yeah, for new groups, I strongly recommend a town up to sorcery at least. You've got a solid start on one, just keep climbing.
Alright. I'll see what I can do and get back to y'all. Thanks for the recommendations.
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caramida
Member
Posts: 8
Re: Baileyfield Branch - Looking for a critical eye
«
Reply #3 on:
March 27, 2006, 04:54:40 PM »
Pride:
Brother Josephus (believes his daughter, Obedience, is too good for young suitors, wants to marry his daughter off to Steward Willem.
Injustice: Young Brother Micah, Obedience's best friend wishes to ask for her hand, but is afraid to do so.
Sin:
Obedience and Micah are seeing one another in semi-secret. The children have not sinned, per se, but Brother Habbakuk, a farmer, recently saw them together and in covering for the two, he inadvertantly told Br. Josephus he had not seen her at all. A tiny innocent lie, but a lie nonetheless.
Demonic Attacks:
Corn blight has ruined a great deal of Br. Habakkuk's expected harvest. They've burned breaks around the blighted fields, but they fear the blight may continue to spread.
False Doctrine:
Habakkuk's neighbor, Br. Amos is terrified of the blight, and blames Br. Habakkuk for the blight. He believes that he can tell the sinners from the righteous. Br. Amos has been pestering Steward Willem to disfellowship Habakkuk and his family.
False Priesthood:
Br. Amos has gathered two friends and their wives, and is praying for Br. Habakkuk's 'just reward'.
Sorcery:
The demons have stricken Habakkuk's wife with an illness, and have blighted Steward Willem's fields, along with one or two others who have had conflict with Br. Amos over the years.
NPCs:
--Brother Josephus, proud of his daughter, wants the Dogs to perform O's wedding to Steward Willem.
--Steward Willem wants the Dogs to go away and leave his Branch in peace. Believes he can handle the Branch without aid from outsiders.
--Obedience loves Br. Micah, her best friend, but hasn't quite realized that the feelings she has for him are perhaps romantic. She wants the Dogs to convince her father not to marry her off to the old Steward.
--Br. Micah, wants to marry Obie, and wants the Dog's help.
--Br. Habakkuk wants the Dogs to help with the blight. Doesn't understand that his little fib could have brought down demonic attacks. He sincerely wishes to do right.
--Br. Amos wants the dogs to add pressure to the Steward to disfellowship Habakkuk. He wants the Dogs to use whatever means they choose to rid him from the Branch.
The demons want someone, anyone, blamed for the corn blight and seek to place everyone in a bad light. They seek to make Br. Amos look as pure as they can make him, causing things to break or go wrong wherever the Dogs might suspect someone, except Br. Amos. The demons are beginning to suggest to Br. Amos that if the Dogs are shirking their duties, perhaps someone else should shoot Habakkuk for them.
If the dogs didn't show, Br. Micah would convince Obedience to run away with him. The blight will spread to other fields and threaten the whole Branch. One of Amos' people would murder Br. Habakkuk, then the Steward with more murder for any others perceived to be in Amos' way.
How's that for climbing further?
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