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Author Topic: Blood River Valley  (Read 3008 times)
Glendower
Member

Posts: 182

My name is Jon.


« on: March 27, 2007, 08:45:12 PM »

When I designed Blood River Valley, I first asked my three players what they really hated about society and the people in it.  I wanted to find out what would fire people up. The responses were cruelty to animals, racist attitudes harming others, and not acting to help a person in need.

I used these to create Blood River Valley, which suffered from one huge problem.  There is way too much going on, and it became a confusing criss cross of problems that they almost needed a flow chart to figure out.  Anyhow, I will present the town in it's entirety, and then my comments at the end on what I think I should have done.

Blood River Valley<
  • Brother Abel Patience - Steward
  • <<<<
  • Sister Malvina Widmore - Daughter of Thomas
  • <<<<<<<


Pride:

    <
  • Thomas believes that men work harder with a strap to them, just like the horses.
  • <<<

Injustice:

    <
  • Elanor is being propositioned by Thomas for a better deal on horses.
  • The men of the mine and the horses are suffering from the whips of Thomas and his men.
  • <<

Sin:

Worldliness<Violence<Violence<Sex<Sex<Deceit<Disunity<Faithlessness<Demonic Attack:

    <<

False Doctrine: <Corrupt Worship:

    <
  • Every day, Thomas beats his remaining horses, and has his overseers beat the Miners if they are below quota, which due to poor equipment they almost always are.

False Priesthood: <Sorcery:

Thomas is in charge.  He wants more money, and will not let anyone stop him.  His desire for wealth led him to sell his own daughter to a marriage to hide his sins, and he believes he deserves all this.  Thomas has a 3D10 Relationship to Greed (I get what I want), and a 1D10 Relationship to Violence (no one can stop me) he can use in any challenge.

Hate and Murder: 

Joseph confronted Thomas for his treatment of the mine workers, Adam, the horses, and Elanor.  Joseph was unarmed. Thomas shot him in cold blood, and later convinced Brother Abel to plant a weapon on Joseph to claim he drew first.  No one was arrested.

What they want from the dogs:

Steward Abel Patience<Sister Caroline Patience<Brother David Patience <Brother Thomas Widmore<Sister Emma Widmore<Sister Malvina Widmore - Wants The Dogs to help her in getting David away from Thelsa.  She also wants out of her marriage to Abel.  She also wants them to marry her to Thelsa, or at get their blessing to continue seeing each other.
Brother Micah Israel<Sister Pamela Israel<Sister Thelsa Israel<Brother Adam Morning Brook<Sister Elanor Morning Brook<Brother Steven Morning Brook<Brother Joseph Morning Brook<Demons: For David to be arrested, and then lose all faith whatsoever. For the marriage between Malvina and Abel to happen.  For the Marriage between Abel and Elanor to happen.  For the horses to waste away and die. For the miners to revolt.

If the Dogs didn't come:

David is discovered and arrested and forsakes the King completely, Thelsa finds another man to pretend to court while continuing the relationship with Malvina.
Thomas kills Adam, and seals Steven up in a mineshaft to die. Elanor kills herself.  Malvina is married to Abel, and Malvina kills Abel in his bed, which leads to David breaking out and killing Malvina.  Thomas kills David, Thelsa tries to kill Thomas but is killed by Thomas, leading Micah and Thomas to kill each other.  Caroline and Pamela kill each other in vengeance of their dead husbands and children.

-----

The Malvina-David-Thelsa triangle is another town I quite liked (the name of which I don't remember) but one that didn't quite have the punch I needed.  I layered things together far too thickly, any one or two of these situations would, on their own, make a great town.  I did way too much with the town, and it was an unfortunate but useful mistake.

Gut reactions to the town and any other advice would be welcome!  I'll have an AP of this beast up in the next few days, which harp on my way too many layers of problems in the town turning things confusing. 
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Hi, my name is Jon.
oliof
Member

Posts: 449

Harald Wagener - Zurich, Switzerland


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« Reply #1 on: March 28, 2007, 05:34:49 AM »

I'd try to cut down the number of NPCs, possibly without interrupting any of the themes. For example, take out David and have the Steward himself court Malvina, make Micah a widower (to increase the pressure on his wish to marry off his daughter to get the hungry brat off his back) and thus bind things more closely together.
Animal cruelty could come directly from the working conditions. The demons have turned the hearts away from  the horses' plight, excepting Adam to further the theme of disunity.
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