Steampunk Mafia game up for analysis and improvements

[pointyman2000]

Hello!

I'm fairly new to the forge and I'd just like to offer a free RPG I came up with for everyone's review, comments and suggestions.  It's currently a work in progress, and I'm looking for feedback on how to improve it.

It's essentially a rules-lite rpg mixing steampunk elements with the mob, and I've been trying to pull it off as an "entry level" game for people who aren't familiar with RPGs as of yet.

I've put up a pdf of it  in http://websolutionsmd.com/jast/pdfs/Steampunk%20Mafia%20RPG-1.1.pdf

Thanks![/url]

[coxcomb]

Intersting.

It looks like D20 simplified and given a curve for resolution.

If you want this to be aimed at new folks, I would suggest the following additions:

Have an introduction session that describes what is like to play the game. From the way the rules are put together is seems that you are assuming people know about RPGs.

Provide callout boxes where appropriate to summarize the rules introduced. The combat section could really use this.

You have a GM section, but I didn't notice a lot of advice for players.

I would expand the example of play to give a broader slice of what the game is like.

All in all, though, the rules are pretty clearly presented and seem to make sense.

I would suggest you look around here at the forge, read the articles (yes, I know they're long and somewhat dry, but they can give you lots of perspective). You may get some ideas on how to better target your game to the audience you are going for.

<edited for clarity>

[pointyman2000]

Thanks for taking the time to give some advice! :)

I think I see what you mean about the need to put a better introduction to RPGs since I'm targeting newbies.  It seems that I've been a little too preoccupied with the rules that I've neglected the other important stuff.

Callout boxes are an excellent idea as well, thanks for pointing that out. :)

I'll read up on the articles and see what I can do to improve it.

Thanks again!