Athala RPG

[Clarn]

Hi all

Let me introduce you Athala, a free fantasy role playing game I wrote. I am not a native English speaker so be indulgent, as it may (must ;) )remain some mistakes. You can find it at this url : http://www.athala.org

I would appreciate some remarks/suggestion about it, play test and so.
I wrote this game wishing it to be both realistic and simple, I hope had reach this goal, let me know what you think of it !

[Mike Holmes]

OK, cool looking art, and site, but... where are the files? I couldn't find the game. Wherever you're hiding it, the game should be easier to get. :-)

Mike

[Keith Senkowski]

I found the files.  They are in the section labeled downloads (forth circle from the right).

I have to also say the art is pretty cool and I like the layout.  Nice and clean.  I hope to be able to read through the books/manuals this week.

Keith

[Clarn]

Thanks to you two.


Do you think I must do something more explicit for downloading the game ?
Perhaps it's a network problem (sometimes the icons don't load as fast as it should).
Anyway tell me how you find it and be indulgent with the inside English ;-)

[Clarn]

I found it.
I forgot to put some icons picture in 'preload mode' and so, some section buttons didn't  work well. It's all ok now.
At least this feed back will have permit me to find this mistake ;)

[Mike Holmes]

Cool, that sounds like exactly the problem. Some of the circles wouldn't do anything for me. I should be able to find it now? Excellent.

I do think that a link on the home page saying "get em here" would be a good idea. Personally I'd want people having the simplest way of finding the files. A person like myself coming to your site - forgive me but - I don't want to read anything about the game but the text itself.

But maybe that's just me.

Mike

[Clarn]

A person like myself coming to your site - forgive me but - I don't want to read anything about the game but the text itself.

But maybe that's just me.

Mike

You don't have to forgive anything ;) Thanks to you :)

[Mike Holmes]

I've looked it over.

As far as "Remarks/Suggestions" go, what sort of feedback are you looking for? If it's about the game's design, then you might want to post to the design forum with specific questions. If it's just playtests that you're looking for, then nevermind this comment.

Mike

[Trevis Martin]

Clarn,

I've looked at the files a bit.  I have to say that your production values are fantastic for an amatuer game!  It really looks nice.  Its obvious that you guys really love it.  That said, I'll write up a list of mistakes for you, you definately need some editing.  (However I know I wouldn't do even half as well trying to put my game into French.)

The system seems servicable and straightforward but not terribly remarkable. I get the sense that I could play the game with another system and not necessarily loose anything. I like the bits about choosing combonations of runes for the spells.

It seems to me that the great emphasis about 'what's cool' about your game is probably in setting but the three files you have available for English speakers don't really discuss it much.  There are a few hints in character cheation like this

 The Sepharim are the wardens of the lost technology. They  are few and live mainly in huge temples, true fortress cities.  However some few Seraphim live outdoors. Kingdoms which  can afford their services use them for wide-ranging tasks from  research to consulting. These take a vow of silence about  Varlan technology. Even if they know quite less of it than  the indoor Seraphim Varlan. Their shared goal is to gather  information about the outside world and keep an eye on the  progress of man. They communicate available information to  the ones who are inside when they can.

which sounds like you might have some interesting meat in the setting.  Can you describe it at all?

The Rules file illustrates how to do basic action checks and combat so I get the sense that you pretty much run around and kill stuff.  Is that what you would describe as the players main activity?

And finally, how did you decide to write Athala?  Was it a world you invented and played in another system, then wanted to make rules for?  Were you disatisfied in some particular way witht another game you were using and so decided to write your own?

regards,

Trevis

[Clarn]

@Mike Holmes : I did post in the game design forum. As far as I don't know the english free RPG fellowship, I would like comments/playtesting about this game in particular. I mean do I have to continue translating all the stuff or it's enough, we got far more better oh this game style.

@Trevis Martin : Thank you to had a look on it. Yes I know I need editing, it's not so easy for me and I take all the help I could find about this point ;-)
About the setting. In fact, the whole game stands in two separated parts : Athala which is the system and Rayhana which is the world, the setting. The main problem is that the setting (3 atlas books and 2 others with world history and explaination) is all in French language and have very much more text than the system (with hardier sentences construction).

Athala was written because I didn't find any system as realist & simple to use than I wish to. So I write this system and later an imaginary world called Rayhana. This all only for me & my friends until internet came home ;-) This game was now written 15 years ago. Today I would like to make it more accessible to English speaker people, if it's worth it.
At this time I got few good feeds back.

Regards,


Clarn