Confession: I really am not much of a gamer anymore

[Ace]

That last thread, Subject Uh yeah,  got me to thinking about my own gaming habits

I want to say that I find talking about RPG's much more satisfing than actually playing them.

Now I do play from time to time (once a month on average, a little less) but I am not in any regular campaigns.

Its not a question of time, I have enough of that, or even campaigns but more of a disatisfaction with the gaming I have been doing over the last few years.
 By and  large the groups I have been able to find are mostly "Gamers. Period and aren't really into what I would call Roleplaying either Sim or Narrativist (at least in a mode that interests me)

I really enjoy the socializing but the hastles of getting everyone together and the sheer montony of the games has soured me on the gaming experience as a whole.

The Forge and Sorcerer have helped me understand my gaming preference better and given me the tools I need to explain to my friends why I don't want to game with them.

No hurt feelings that way.

Groupless currently my gaming Fix is  nowadays easily satified with talking about gaming, getting together with my gamer friends (but not gaming) and collecting a few games.

As a matter of fact I find myself moving away from gaming as a hobby and to  well, I don't know as gaming has been my social hobby  for a long time.

I don't know if anyone here has been through this (I would bet some have) but I am very close to just dropping out of the gaming scene for a while.

Its weird to be on a site all about enjoying gaming and realize exactly why you aren't enjoying gaming and that you might be better off not gaming at all.

No this would  not be the first time I quit gaming when I felt burned out and the first time in which I pre decided to find a new social hobby proactivly

Howver before I join the non gamer crowd I am going to give a new group playing TROS a shot and see if it reinvigorates my gaming interest.

The fault in fact dear Brutus may be in me or in the stars who is too know such a thing.


If I don't find out  the fault lies in other and its just my lack of interest  I will probably still be enjoying this site  and I will just be the token ""armchair" gamer.  

You can of course apply a filter to my posts and mock them if you like

Nyah Nyah He doesn't play what does he know ;)

Wish me luck

Anthony

[joe_llama]

Anthony,

Don't be afraid to take a break. Sometimes it's the best solution. It will give you time to establish a new perspective on your hobbies and interests. But before leaving, please read this message.

"Role Playing Game" is a very uninformative label when you have games like Rifts, Champions and Sorcerer under it. No wonder many gamers are dissatisfied. They all play "RPG's" when each player looks for a vastly different experience. That's why Ron came up with GNS - to show the difference in experience of games with a role playing element. Everyone knows the difference in feel between Poker, Bridge and Hearts even thought they're all "card games".

Most dissatisfaction with RPG's comes from having the wrong expectations about each game. When you sit down to play Monopoly, you know exactly what kind of experience you will have. How come RPG's are any different? Because they're more complex? Because they're unique? Sounds like lame excuses to me. It's usually a combination of misleading advertisement and self-applied brainwash on how RPG's should behave, how they form a "niche" in society, and other philosophical babble.

The average RPGamer shouldn't be all that different from any other gamer. Most of us have a copy of Monopoly or Diplomacy at home but it doesn't mean we play them three times a week. In fact, we see them as no more than another kind of leisure activity. Only Monopoly enthusiasts play it three times a week. Most people who own the game take it out once in a while and have some fun. Why should RPG's be any different? "Campaigns" and long-term gaming are no excuse. You can still run "oneshots" and have a lot of fun.

So why not keep "poker night" on Wednesdays, go out on Friday nights, have a Saturday afternoon of Inspectres/Monopoly/Diplomacy and play Basketball with your buddies on Sunday? We can be normal people after all (if we try real hard). You don't have to be an enthusiast to play games.

Good luck in all your ways.

With respcet,

Joe Llama

[Paul Czege]

Hey Anthony,

Psychologically speaking, the Forge is a stressful place. Witness the number of individuals, John Wick prominently among them, who have in one fashion or another announced that they are no longer gamers, or that they haven't been gamers for a long time. You know what that reminds me of?

I'm sure you've seen the dissolution of romantic relationships among your friends. You find yourself in a conversation with a guy who's added a swagger to his walk, and to his speech. "Yeah, I never loved her." When just a week previous the two of them were a clingy, kissy, always-together couple.

What's happening there is about identity. People build their identities and their self-esteem around their relationships and the things they do for work and fun. When a relationship ends, a person takes a self-esteem hit. But everyone learns at a young age that the hit can be mitigated by retroactively editing the relationship to de-significate it. Everyone does it. Of course, from the outside looking in, it comes across as completely disingenuous.

The Forge problematizes people's identities the same way. Suddenly, gaming isn't what you thought it was, and you're not who you thought you were. You've invested a lot of time and energy in something, in being a certain person, and now you feel betrayed by that investment. A friend of mine, the guy who got me gaming again in 1990 after a five year hiatus, stopped gaming last year upon me exposing him to GNS theory and indie games. Know that if your continued involvement and enthusiasm with the hobby has gotten friends gaming again, or if you've written a game, or published a game, or if you own more than one game convention T-shirt, or if you so love talking about gaming that you can't give it up, statements like "I'm not interested in gaming" or "I haven't been a gamer in a long time" will come across to many here as fairly disingenuous.

We don't hate you. We just know what you're going through.

Paul

[Ron Edwards]

Hi Anthony,

I think everyone sets his or her own limits on what they want to do with their time. Role-playing is a hobby, a leisure social activity. I think that a functioning human adult needs to decide just whether, when, and how much, and with whom he or she is going to do it.

No one can tell you whether (etc) to role-play. No one can expect it of you. I also think it's a valuable insight to dissociate role-playing as an activity from the social label (especially self-imposed) of "gamer."

For instance ... Is role-playing something I do? Yes. Is it my primary social activity? No. Is it the crux of my social identity? No. Do I organize my life so it, as well as other things, get the time they require? Yes. Have I taken "time off" from any of these things if they were not paying-back? Yes.

In other words, I really think people get hung up about this issue in ways they don't have to. Consider some other leisure things that people do: work out regularly, travel when they get the time and money, see movies, have company over for dinner, watch TV, take their kids to do activities with other kids and their parents. Role-playing is a leisure time activity; it strikes me that it gets performed and managed just like any other ... or if it's special or problematic in some way, in these terms, then something internal or self-imposed is gumming up the works.

For instance, you might review why you began this thread. The following questions are rhetorical, or rather, for your own interest; I am not interested in the answers and request that you do not post any.

Does it matter what "we" think of you?
Why continue to read and post here if you are removing the self-imposed label of "gamer" from yourself?
What specific value does role-playing add to your life?
Is "down-time" different from "quitting?" Why and how?

Best,
Ron

[Blake Hutchins]

Hi Anthony,

I've taken numerous breaks from gaming and haven't gamed since my X-gamer fling with The Pool last October.  I'm still here, though, and I feel free to offer my nickel on any number of subjects.  Don't sweat it, have fun contributing here, and thank you for your candor.

Otherwise, the fellas before me said all that needs to be said.

Best,

Blake

[Valamir]

I guess I've never experienced Role Playing Burnout because its never been by only gaming outlet.  My gaming concentrations tend to cycle, RPGs, wargames, historical miniatures, computer games (mostly of the 4X nature), European import board games.  I've gone through a period of many years where I didn't play a single RPG, but I never thought of myself as no longer being a "gamer" or active in the hobby because during those years I was playing a horde of Avalon Hill games.

I've never really participated in the often self imposed wall between different gameing styles (frex the wargamers hating how the RPers ruined Origins and running off to start their own con on the same weekend).  I've always shifted back and forth pretty freely.

I think its like any hobby, whether its movies or mountain climbing.  If you only ever watch one kind of movie, or only ever climb the same mountain over and over, eventually the novelty wears off and interest wanes.  I imagine being a "gamer" who only plays RPGs is something similiar.  

If you're looking to set aside role playing awhile but don't really want to turn your back on a hobby that's been a big part of your life, may I suggest trying some other games.  The European import (and import-esque) games like Settlers of Cataan, or Lowenhertz, Ra or Vinci is a great way to include the social aspects of gaming without the pressures of Role Playing.

[Laurel]

Personally, I consider anyone who reads RPGs and likes to sit around in Dennys or a forum like the Forge discussing games and game design to be a "gamer" regardless of whether or not they have a current chronicle going on.

Playing in a great RPG session is well... great.  But there's more to gaming at this point than having one, and as long as you're happy with the existing situation, why change it?  Not like you're going to be kicked out of the Gaming Geek Society and paraded around GenCon dipped in molasses.  

Now, if the problem is you aren't playing, but you really wish you were and you are unhappy, that's another matter entirely.

[TSL]

Anthony,

Beats talking about the weather.

Walking away once in a while is not a bad thing - I suspect most of us will still be around for your return.

And I agree with Val, playing multiple different types of game is a great way to go.  I've been playing WizKids new HeroClix line like a fiend.

"And then, my Hulk, he picks up the fork-lift and bashes you for... whoa, 5 clicks!!! Hulk smash, Hulk smash!!!!

Ahem,