Stillwater Branch. My first DitV town; Ive created a monster!

[Temple]

So I was sitting at work today with the book in front of me, and I realised I wanted to try my hands at making a town. Id never tried it before, so I decided to make it all the way up to Hate and Murder to see the whole process in action.

Im not sure how I feel about the result. The town is horrifying. And In dont mean that in the qualitative sense, I mean that it inspires true horror in me. Ive created a monster.

Id appreciate some comments on it, to point out flaws, potential problems or improvements and general feedback.

Stillwater Branch

Pride: The widower Brother Zebediah is neglecting his oldest son Cornelius in favour of his much younger daughter.

Injustice: Cornelius is not getting a proper upbringing in the Faith, and is a burden to his community because of it.

Sin: Cornelius is forcing himself sexually on two young women in the Branch, Sister Bridget and Sister Edwina.
- Demonic Attacks: The demons are making local animals attack women of the Branch, harrassing and assaulting them sexually.

False Doctrine: Cornelius believes that unmarried people can have sex if the act is consecrated in the name of the King of Life.

Corrupt Worship. Cornelius, Bridget and Edwina are meeting in secret to practice extra-maritalsex at the Branch temple.They have lured the Branch Steward Phineas into conducting the ceremony in exchange for sex.

Sorcery: The Steward is sorcerously stealing into peoples homes at night,to have sex with the wives of sleeping men. The wives have only hazy, dreamlike recollections of the events.

Hate and Murder: A husband of one of the raped wives has learned of her sexual "dreams," and contacted the Steward for advice. Fearful of his secret being exposed, he has killed both the man and his wife in their sleep.

The People:
Zebediah wants the Dogs to bless his daughter.
Cornelius wants the Dogs to take his sister away.
Bridget wants the Dogs to marry her and Cornelius.
Edwina wants the Dogs to kill Cornelius and the Steward.
Steward Phineas wants the Dogs to punish Cornelius so he can have Bridget and Edwina for himself.

The Demons want the sex to contiunue, and the Dogs to participate if possible. They will try to place the blame on the girls if the Dogs get close to Cornelius or the Steward.

If the Dogs never came, the Steward would start recruiting the people of the Branch to the cult. Those who refuse will die in their sleep...

[JC]

(holy smokes, my parents almost called me Cornelius!)

anyway... could you elaborate a little on how the first five steps lead to the corrupt worship?

I\\\'m especially not clear on Bridget and Edwina\\\'s motivations for agreeing to have sex with Cornelius in the church

[Temple]

The first step is the father neglecting the son, which leads to the son not recieving a proper education in the Faith. The son, sexually frustrated as teenagers are wont to be, creates a small heresy to justify his sexual assaults on the young girls. The girls are both ashamed of the affair and drawn to the wild young man, and by convincing them that there might be somethign to his idea that the union if sacred if it is blessed in the Kings name he has drawn them into a web of sin that they are too afraid and ashamed to escape from.

Thats the way it works in my head, atleast.

[wreckage]

That's one wildly sordid town. It certainly sounds very dramatic and... visceral.

[JC]

The girls are both ashamed of the affair and drawn to the wild young man, and by convincing them that there might be somethign to his idea that the union if sacred if it is blessed in the Kings name he has drawn them into a web of sin that they are too afraid and ashamed to escape from.

OK, that clears it right up

I think the town works fine the way you wrote it

I have two ideas, which you might or might not like:

1/ since lots of people will probably want to see the Dogs kill Cornelius and the Steward already, it might be interesting to have Edwina want to marry Cornelius too, and to have both girls want Cornelius to themselves

to get rid of her rival, one of the girls could then accuse the other of bewitching poor Cornelius, for example


2/ perhaps the Steward\\\\\\\'s goal could be altered a little, from having Cornelius punished to having him killed

after all, if Cornelius is punished, but the cult\\\\\\\'s activities are revealed, the Steward is in trouble himself

but perhaps you meant \\\\\\\"eliminated\\\\\\\" when you said \\\\\\\"punished\\\\\\\"

[Temple]

1. That was the way I wrote it up initially, but then I thought maybe having two girls wanting to marry him coould confuse things. But now that you put it that way, I think maybe thats a better route to take it!

2. Yes, "eliminated" is indeed what I ment by "punished." Sorry for the confusion.

The weird thing about this town is that it sort of made itself! I just started with the initial Pride, and everything was built on that. It was looking at the end result and then back at the beginning that sent chills down my spine.

Is making a town always like that? Because thats awesome!

[JC]

1. That was the way I wrote it up initially, but then I thought maybe having two girls wanting to marry him coould confuse things. But now that you put it that way, I think maybe thats a better route to take it!

great minds, yada yada...

The weird thing about this town is that it sort of made itself! I just started with the initial Pride, and everything was built on that. It was looking at the end result and then back at the beginning that sent chills down my spine.

Is making a town always like that? Because thats awesome!

I usually have to go back to a town several times before it feels \\\"right\\\"

but when it does, yeah, it usually gives me goose bumps too