Mid-project "review editor" needed - Secret Identities

[HeTeleports]

Normally, talking to my wife and talking to myself fulfills this job requirement for my project.
However, she's gotten herself busy with her own projects and -- well, talking to yourself too much can be draining.

I need someone willing to read through my half-done rulebook (18 pages, two-columns with partial art) and then do these things:
- discuss the structure of the document (where, in the document, certain rules are brought up)
- discuss whether the play concept (what players will be doing to make the game happen) is evident at all in the document
- discuss what missing rules should be added/what present rules should be dropped

To spare readers, I'll trim the description way, way down.
"You and other players take on roles as amateur/young super heroes -- and each of your characters protects their secret identity from the people in their lives while cooperating to keep crime down in the city."

Please private message me if you're interested.
Note: I have the document prepared in .pdf, though without a lot of bells and whistles at present.

[HeTeleports]

A note of clarification:

A good "review editor" will give this half-done rulebook the same sort of treatment many readers and posters in the "First Thoughts" forum give each other: feedback, sometimes misguided.

I would ask for a "collaborator," but I'm not really looking for a partner on the project.
I'm looking for someone I can talk to about this game -- and the only qualifications are that the person has basic Forge understanding and reads the entire document (as is.)
Don't expect this to be hard work.
Thanks,
-Youssef

[Simon C]

Hi Youssef,

I'm tentatively interested.  This sounds kind of rude, but can I read the game first? I don't want to sound like a snob, it's just I think it's more likely my feedback will be useful to you if I'm genuinely interested in and excited by the game.  Superheroes are not a huge draw for me, but I like the premise in other respects - young people struggling with issues of identity.  I can see that being a fun game.

Also, you might want to check out some of the stuff I've done to see if we're gonna have compatable aesthetics.

Some of the older stuff I've done is here: http://simoncarryer.googlepages.com/gameindex

I think my writing, especially in the areas you're interested in, has improved a lot since then.

[HeTeleports]

I should also mention this:
I've discussed this game quite a few times on First Thoughts. Run a search with "Secret Identities" and you'll find something.