Micro Slush: A Beer & Pretzels freebie

Micro Slush

One GUI to Run Them All, One GUI to Frustrate Them,
One GUI to Rule them All and in our Cult Bind Them!

by Kester Pelagius

INTRODUCTION

You are a �End User�. The lowliest of the low in the lexicon of Micro Slush. In the computer market place you are surrounded by nimwits and dimbulbs all trying to sell you this months factory direct, almost enough Mhz with nearly enough RAM to still be useful in six month�s time, Micro Slush preinstalled comp. (Upgrades available sometime next week.) They are enemies all.

You have one goal: Kill them before they turn you into a mindless Micro Slush drone! Well, ok, maybe not really kill them but you definitely want to take out Phil Grates. The world will just be a better place if you can him out. Just once.

ANGST

Every player has a secret desire, something that they want to do to those vacuously smiling sales weasels, no service demons working the phones in customer service, and people who just in general make their gum seem to loose its flavor all that much more quicker. Some possible �desires� have been placed into the list below. Read them thoroughly and pick the list which you think best describes your character on their worst �Not another blue screen of death!� day. Write the number of the list down on your character sheet next to the word Angst.

1. Feels sudden burning desire to find Phil Grates and crew in order to Gut, Impale, Skewer, and otherwise Disembowel them.

2. Feels the need to Behead, Lop off an Arm or Leg, Crush Skull, or otherwise Slash someone, anyone�s, Jugular Vein.

3. Feel rather like they have been Stabbed in the Heart, puked on, bent over the banister and ravished like a chamber maid. Now where�s my shotgun! What did I do with that box of shells?

4. Feel rather like they have been Stabbed in the Heart, puked on, bent over the banister and ravished like a chamber maid. But realize that violence isn�t the answer, so they take the time to unload their shotgun and put it away.

5. Feels helpless about it but realize their really isn�t anything that they can do, things are how they are.

6. Don�t really care one way or the other. (Likely not a PC owner.)

Got that all written down?

Good. That is your one Attribute in Micro Slush. So long as you can roll a single d6 equal to or under that score you are fine. (Note to GM: Angst checks should be made regularly and at random.) Otherwise you flip out and start looking for things to kill.

Drawbacks to flipping out: If you flip out in a public place prior to finding Phil Grates the cops will catch you, eventually. You loose.

Taking Out Phil Grates

Assuming you have not Flipped Out and been pounced on by the cops this is your sole goal in the game. Find and take out Phil Grates. Ah, but it�s not to kill the bugger! Nope, your goal is to take Phil Grates out behind the wood shed and deliver a message to him from the End User Corporal Punishment Gods. Only then, with cheeks a rosy red, will your Angst be once more at a tolerable level.

Who Wins?

Winner is the either the first character to reach Phil Grates and whack his arse but good, or the last player left after everyone else has Flipped Out.

Setting up for Play

Players gather together as usual, everyone thanking the host for allowing the use of their home, politely agreeing to keep the length of the game to something reasonable. Then again an average game of Micro Slush shouldn�t outlast the first round of soda and chips. In fact most games of Micro Slush shouldn�t last longer than the typical card game.

Flipped Out Characters

Characters who have Flipped Out are literally given the green light to act as nuts-- in character only, of course-- as they can. In fact the more foamy at the mouth they can pretend to be, spouting about the evils of Micro Slush and it�s plans for world domination, the better. Of course as soon as a Flipped Out character comes within arms reach of sharp objects or firearms, well, the more dangerous they become.

Of course even when Flipped Out a character�s sole goal will be to �Take Out� Phil Grates. Albeit in a grisly sort of way which the maker of this game would not condone. But what can you do, they are Flipped Out and not thinking clearly. Of course they may not be a problem for long.

Cops

We know this is a burden for the Game Master but all Cops in the game are NPCs. Thus, by definition, the GM has to role-play them. Luckily the Cops role in Micro Slush is simple. Capture or �Drop� any and all characters that have Flipped out. It�s that simple. Of course the Cop may use a Taser, Revolver, Semi-Automatic Pistol, or Shotgun in their attempt to �Drop� the character. Obviously the lethal methods outweigh the non-lethal methods. Best to stay as far away from the coppers as possible. Otherwise better hope that cop doesn�t have an itchy trigger finger!

Outfitting Cops

Cops are easy to outfit. First roll 1D6. Record this score on a sheet of paper or index card next to the Attribute rating of �Itchy Trigger Finger�. Second roll 1D6 to determine the officer�s primary weapon. Results are as follows: 1 Taser; 2-3 Revolver; 4-5 Semi-Automatic Pistol; 6 Shotgun. In fact it is suggested that the GM roll up several officers, just in case.

Combat

You knew this one was coming, stop whining! Should, Heaven Forbid, there actually arise the necessity for combat (hey those Flipped Out characters might just try something!) then you will need to have the player roll 1D6 and add their Angst score. Now take the current Officer they are fighting, roll 1d6, add their Itchy Trigger Finger score. Whoever rolls higher wins. For what it�s worth.

Hits are automatic. All hits are lethal, with the exception of the Taser. Taser hits render a player character unconscious. Players hit by a Taser are marked as �Captured� and removed from play.

Suggestions for Keeping Track of Play

If you have any old hex maps or dungeon floor plans feel free to reuse them. Just mark off a place where Phil Grates is located and give the players some vague idea about his general whereabouts. Play will progress relatively quickly so there shouldn�t be any need for a lot of record keeping, though miniatures can be used to provide a visual of the whereabouts of players and cops if desired. Otherwise wing it. You know your players likes and dislikes better than anyone else just remember that, above all else, Micro Slush is meant to be fun! It�s satire. Try not to turn it into a splatter fest. ;)

[EDIT: Oops! Didn't get it all up the first time!]