Real Names on the Forge

[Le Joueur]

When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things including the fear of being seen as childish.

Not I.

I remain young in all eyes.  When young, I noted people who felt they were 'too old for that' were called 'grown-ups.'  Like the Pippy Longstockings of the live-action film of my youth, I chose to never grow up.  In daily life, I play the chivalrous knight and all respect my honor, consistency, and integrity.  I never fail to stop and play every chance I get; I see no reason to "put away childish things."  Every day I wake to the wonder of the world with a mind open to new experiences and adventures; I don't 'have a job,' I help people.

I watch little other than cartoons, I go to the zoo, I draw, I play games; see no reason to 'grow up,' if it means I have to 'stop having fun' because I'm 'too old for such things.'

And I still don't see how any of the 'uses their real name' stuff has anything to with being an adult.  Whether people here use handles or not, the important point is they don't hide behind them.  Your username is irrelevant; it's whether it becomes a crutch for childish behaviour (not childlike), that counts.

And being honest and responsible (as in 'able to respond') is what's important here, too many grown-ups let names get in the way because 'that's how its done.'

Fang Langford

[Jack Spencer Jr]

As I believe as attributed to CS Lewis



When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things including the fear of being seen as childish.

CS Lewis might said or written that, but he was quoting Paul. Like it matters.



I think we're losing sight of where we're going here. We encourage members to go ahead and use their real names, if they wish. No pressure, but this is a site where you can use you real name, and we recommend you do so since it feels a little better. To some of us, anyway. But again, no pressure.

[Sidhain]

CS Lewis might said or written that, but he was quoting Paul. Like it matters.

Yes he was quoting Paul for 90% of that, its the last amended part he added that was the important part

No pressure, but this is a site where you can use you real name, and we recommend you do so since it feels a little better. To some of us, anyway. But again, no pressure.

"Feels a little better" implies those of us who aren't are doing something /wrong/ somehow--which I don't believe any of us are other than being /ourselves/.

I don't think entirely you meant it as pressure, but it is indeed what I percieve it to be.

[Valamir]

Here's the thing about perceptions.  Only you are responsible for what you perceive.  What you choose or don't choose to read into someones words is entirely up to you...whether they intended it to be there or not.

It is the speaker who says, but it is the listener who interprets.

Ron has never been shy about encouraging people to use their real name.  But you know, he's never made it policy for a reason.  So I wouldn't spend too much time worrying about it.

[Maurice Forrester]

I'm guessing that Ron responds to pseudonymous posters using their real names (where he can) because he wants to exert a gentle pressure on people to use their real names.

I've noticed Ron doing that.  It always strikes me as rude.  Being called what you want to be called is a fundamental human right.

I've used my real name on the net for a long time and my name is in my signature on this forum.  If someone wants to use an obvious handle, it's not my place to call him or her anything different.

[Eric J.]

Strange.  I've always found Ron's greetings to correlate with an amout of politeness.  Why else would he greet any one anyway, but to dictate who you're talking to.  I've actually tried to alter my greetings to be less polite than Ron's so that it can better reflect my personality.

I have to get between:

Hello X,

and:

X,

It can be really frusterating.  I don't think that we should place any blame on Ron untill he started to call people by their real names after they ask him not to.  Untill then, I think that we should give him the benefit of the doubt.  He's done the same for me more than once.

(How is it insulting by using some one's real name anyway?  There are few exceptions.  Just taking the time to learn one's name is a gesture of respect.)

[Steve Dustin]

I think handles do put a layer of seperation between you and what you say in a forum versus what you would say attached to your real name.

I've got a handle on RPGnet and found it easier to be "assholish" over there because of it. I have this odd idea that I can do that there, even though the handle has the same sig. Better change that right away, so that none of the upscale Forgites recognize me over there.

And please no comments about "assholish" and RPGnet. I know someone is bound to want to (RPGnet has a quite a few "real name regulars" actually). I'd hate to burn any bridges I might actually have at RPGnet.

Take care,
Steve Dustin

[Kester Pelagius]

Greetings wyrdlyng,

Well, I took up my handle back in '91 when I first started on the Internet. It was my MUSH name on OmegaMOO (for those who recall it). Since then I've kept it because trying to get alex.hunter, alex or hunter as a username is freakin hard on most ISPs or registrations. Therefore I have always been wyrdlyng@xxx.xxx. There's not many wyrdlyngs with my spelling anyway.

Interesting you should mention that.  I've been reading and haven't been sure how to apply my 2 cents... but that's about how I cam to use my current handle.  If you can call it such.

My name is rather common, too, but rather than dredge up an old handle or invent a new one I just took my name and surname and converted them to Scottish/Celtic (Christopher) and the nearest Greek equivalent (Pelagius and Morgan are apparently similar breeds of horses, or some such).

Have many others done this?

Can't speak to what impression my username leaves with the rest of you here.  Save that, from the threads I've participated in, I don't recall any churlish behaviour.  'Sides, with all the Chris' we have on The Forge people might start to think we are all gathering here as part of some dark and sinister plot!  ;)

All in all I think my current choice (which is also on my e-mail account) is much better than my ancient BBS handle...  Mudge.  Ah, the days of Fidonet, which few here probably remember?   *mock sigh*


Kind Regards,

Kester Pelagius

[Maurice Forrester]

(How is it insulting by using some one's real name anyway?  There are few exceptions.  Just taking the time to learn one's name is a gesture of respect.)

I think I already addressed that:

Being called what you want to be called is a fundamental human right.

In the absence of any other information, I assume that the name or handle that is being used for the post is what the user wants to be called on this forum.  It seems like the polite thing to do.

[Jack Spencer Jr]

No pressure, but this is a site where you can use you real name, and we recommend you do so since it feels a little better. To some of us, anyway. But again, no pressure.

"Feels a little better" implies those of us who aren't are doing something /wrong/ somehow--which I don't believe any of us are other than being /ourselves/.

I don't think entirely you meant it as pressure, but it is indeed what I percieve it to be.

Not doing something right does not automatically imply wrongdoing.

If you or anyone else here perceives this as pressure, then let us end this thread now because that is not what it's about. What it's about is in Jake's opening post, about how it "feels" better, more adult here on the Forge because several users post under their real name. Is that why it feels better? As has been pointed out, several have posted using handles with no real problem.

You know what, forget it. It's not worth arguing about. If you post here on the Forge, the membership encourages you to post under your real name. But you don't have to if you don't want to.

That's it.

Well, one more thing:

Being called what you want to be called is a fundamental human right.

And being called what other people decide to call you is just how it is.

Jack "Shut up, Jack" Spencer Jr.

[Maurice Forrester]

Well, one more thing:

Being called what you want to be called is a fundamental human right.

And being called what other people decide to call you is just how it is.

Sure, you can't force someone to call you what you want to be called.  You just have to decide how to respond, or not respond, to that person.  I'm not sure I understand your point.

[Ron Edwards]

Hello,

I agree with Jack in every word, concept, particular, and syllable.

Best,
Ron

[Jake Norwood]

Um...

Ever noticed that any thread I start out in the non-TROS forums ends up doing this? Do a search, check it out.

I think what I wanted to say was that when I joined the Forge the encouragement to use a real name was tangible but not expected. As such there were lots of people with names that I at least thought might be real names, so I felt like I was talking to real people. I really liked that and therefore changed my traditional handle--Geralt--to my real name (or rather, what people in the real world call me day in and day out).

What I think has happened is that in the recent membership burst many people didn't realize that the real-name thing was encouraged (such as myself when I first joined). I'm glad that there are so many real names here at the Forge--it's part of the reason I'm comfortable here. Forums with real names just feel more legitimate. One of the things that I think the Forge tries to do is add a degree of legitmacy with being gamers. When I discuss the Forge with outsiders they always groan--"ah, it's some dorky game forum."
"Nah," I say, "it's populated with real people and real names having intelligent discussions."
"Wow, that's pretty cool. I thought all gamers were dorks who wanted to be called Arwen57 and LegolasTheAvenger."
"Nah, there's lots of reasonably well adjusted people in gaming."

See, the thing is, as much as we want to "be comfortable with ourselves," we're not in a bubble. As long as we pretend to be things aren't going to get better (and recent threads have shown that we're not happy with our hobby's station in the world). It's just a step, is all.

Note that I do use a handle on RPG.net, because it seems wrong to do otherwise over there.

Jake

[kamikaze]

My philosophy on names is that a nickname is more real than any given name or family name.

Your family name is an accident of which ancestors you had; it says nothing about *you*, unless you're one of those sad people who lives only in the reflected glory of their ancestors.  Your given name was chosen by your parents, probably under stress and with absolutely no information about your future personality.  Combine them, and you may as well have random numbers for all it says about you.  They're baby names.  A real adult should choose a new name that means something.

A nickname, chosen either by yourself or by others, is about who and what you are.  It's the truth.

I got mine for the way I played computer games on the old online services and rode a skateboard - the same friends pegged me with the name for both traits, 18 years ago.  I have no sense of fear, and I'm willing to throw myself utterly at an enemy to destroy them.  Every so often, I do something archetypically kamikaze, and realize that yes, the name still fits, and I may as well keep it.  On the day when it no longer fits, I'll change to another name.

I don't object to anyone knowing that my random citizenship ID is "Mark Hughes", and I list in in my .sig, but it's not my true name.  I don't really appreciate being addressed as "Mark" online.  I use it in person, especially with strangers, but those more familiar with me usually start calling me "Kamikaze" or "Kami" (but not "Commie", ya know?)

I also don't object to other people continuing to use their baby names - it's your life, do what you want.  Just extend the same courtesy to me, or I'll pick a new nickname for you.

[Jared A. Sorensen]

"Wow, that's pretty cool. I thought all gamers were dorks who wanted to be called Arwen57 and LegolasTheAvenger."

Clinton, please change my user name to LegolasTheAvenger.

- LtA