Gay gamers

[taalyn]

Just curious - how many gay gamers are there? That you know, or are here at the Forge.

A.

[Adam]

Well, the Gaymers YahooGroup has a membership of 216.

Best,
Adam

[Mike Holmes]

I'm certain that at least six individuals that I've gotten to know somewhat are either gay, or at least non-straight. Why do you ask?

Mike

[Ron Edwards]

Hey,

Some folks spoke up in this regard in the Gay culture / Gamer culture thread, although the thread topic itself wasn't about outing or announcing.

Best,
Ron

[Jonathan Walton]

Also important to note that many modern ideas about sexuality don't strictly fit into the categories of "gay" or "straight."  It's more like a continuum in my experience.  Like in A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, where the author rates himself as a "3" on a 1-10 scale of "straight-to-gayness."  I would imagine there's probably a great many gamers who are, to some extent, attracted to members of the same sex.  That's just human sexuality at work.  Now, how many of them would describe themselves as being "gay" is another issue entirely.

Maybe it's just because I go to Oberlin, but a lot of the people I know (including myself and my current girlfriend) identify outselves, when asked, as being "mostly straight" :)

[szilard]

It was pointed out to me after the last game we had that (particularly since my girlfriend stopped playing regularly) I am the only exclusively straight person who regularly plays in our Wraith LARP (which has about 10 regular players).

Stuart

[taalyn]

I'm certain that at least six individuals that I've gotten to know somewhat are either gay, or at least non-straight. Why do you ask?

Mike

  I ask because besides myself, I've only ever met 1 other gaymer.  I see roleplaying as a particularly gay thing for some reason (maybe it has to do with the idea of roleplaying femininity, as in drag, or masculinity, as in gay military men (to which category i also belonged)). At any rate, I wondered if there were others.

Jon, I totally agree, though I think there are more people at the extremes than the Kinsey continuum and its adherents generally allow for.

Ron, thanks for the link - I'll go read it "straight" away!

Adam, an even better link - thanks a bunch!

Aidan

[Ron Edwards]

Heh! Glad to know you're not bent out of shape!

Seriously, though, I wonder if Lon has seen the Birthday Forum yet; he hasn't been posting much lately. He's provided several articulate & powerful points about sexual preferences, referring to his own lifestyle (is that what we call it these days?) without using it as a Me-Right-Cause-I-Live-It club.

Best,
Ron

[Jonathan Walton]

Also, historically, theater and its offshoot communities have been among the safer places to be openly or semi-openly gay.  Something about pretending to be other people that makes you more open to people who might be different from you, or the possibility of being different than you always imagined yourself to be.  I do think that roleplaying has, historically, embraced social outcasts of all kinds (which could be an interesting topic to dicuss under Theory sometime), so I don't see why queer people would be any less welcome.  Still, I can't say that I know many openly gay gamers.  Strange...

[taalyn]

Well, Jon, I will say this: One of the reasons I think there are less gaymers than one might think - VERY FEW cute naked men on the covers of RPGs (or among fantasy in general). They're all women in bronze bras, or less. Slaine was an exception - there's some great art with a handsome man there... That and gay men tend to be a lot more image-conscious than gamers, and since roleplaying is often seen as "weird"- they don't. Drag is another issue entirely, I think....

Aidan

[Jonathan Walton]

That and gay men tend to be a lot more image-conscious than gamers, and since roleplaying is often seen as "weird"- they don't.

Hmm, I hadn't considered that, but you're totally right.  It took me a long time to feel comfortable and confident about telling other people that I roleplay.  Honestly, my experience here at the Forge has made me believe that roleplaying is something that I can feel proud of.  Experiences like mine, I think, are what led to the RPGnet article a while back that talked about "closeted" gamers.  I can see, though, that many queer folks wouldn't want to go out of their way to make themselves seem "weird," with society already branding them as such.

[Othyem]

My wife and I used to live with a gay couple. Both of the guys played ICE's Rolemaster (Pre mid nineties, before they changed it up), and a lot of their gay friends that they knew, and introduced to us, also played. I must say that without a doubt that it was the best gaming experience we ever had! I never thought about the 'Gay Factor' untill now. That really answers the question of why it was sooo much more fun than any other time I had role played with other close friends.

Othyem

[Anonymous]

I think its more then that.  There are alot more variables then even being conscious of image and artwork.  I am  not sure images of the human bodyhave brought a significant number of gamers into the game.

I got a wake up call a few years ago when I attented a game with a bisexual girl, a full on lipstick lesbian, and a MtF transgendered person. The game group was fairly large and an eclectic group but all 3 tended to be... shunned is not the right word but it is safe to say I, the straight catholic, was more popular then any of them for various reasons.

Afterwards several people went out and the situation was discussed. Essentially, I was told that there is a level of prejedice within the LGBT community against the three strereotypes above. I said yeah ok you hear of that but... but apparently it is.

So not only is there the gaming prejudice
The Fear of Homosexuality / Alternative life styles.
Then the different cliques within the Homosexual/Alternative community
Of ocurse I have also been told I was not welcome in a game because I am a "breeder" despite the fact that I have no children.

So its hard to know really how many GLBT gamers exist because all the prejudices of the bad ol world still make their way into gaming. We are often not as open minded as I think we would like to be.

Just my 2 Lunars

Sean
ADGBoss

[ADGBoss]

The above was posted by me, even though me was not logged in like a dumb axe

Sean
ADGBoss

[Ron Edwards]

Hey,

I just remembered a relevant point.

A couple of months ago, I met a really nice guy, a friend of one of the women in our role-playing group - funny, etc, three-dollar-bill campy. We were talking about all sorts of things, as he was getting ready to take off so the bunch of us could start role-playing ...

... and I asked him, whether of his friends (implication, the gay guys he knew, hung out with, etc, a very theater-type bunch), did those who role-played admit it to anyone else.

Hell no, he said. They will never come out of that closet.

He left, with a flourish, and I nodded, quietly, to myself. I'd thought not.

Best,
Ron

P.S. I paraphrased a bit; Maura, check me on the details.