[Dysfunctional Play] At the end of my rope...

I think this is an intereasting phennom. It's been my expiereince that how abusive people are in a game has nothing to do with what they're like out of a game. Hope you're so lucky.

I've been described as not the nicest person in real life, but in a game, I'm very big on my character's being supportive of others and adhering to the social contract as much as possible. If I want my character to have an attitude, I express it towards the non player characters.

But not so much with most people I know... like this friend, she apoligizes to people who are playing air hockey if she thinks her conversation is too loud for them. She seems to have self-esteem problems alot of the time. But her characters are usually focused on pointing out what's wrong with other characters, giving them derogatory name-variations, you know.

Infact, every female gamer I know gravitates towards this style of play, or GMing. Watching a small, sickly girl in an anime shirt GM people into situations out of a S&M flick is kind of a strange thing... I think it's funny because you usually asort this sort of play with a collection of psuedeo-frat boys.

Personally, I'd say you should be aggressive about getting the players you like out of this group, and find another one to play in. It's been my observation that once people get used to this style of play, they often have a hard time letting go of it voluntarily, after a year or two they feel like they're just starting to be in the in-crowd.

Not saying that this is some sort of an inherently bad thing, but it's bad for -you- if you don't attempt to help you and the friends who's style you like to go to a setting where you can have fun gaming.

Also, in this new group you're joining, you should consider finding people that you can talk to about roleplaying when you shoot the breeze. It'll make you reframe from talking about it to these people which will just be a headache in the future.