PC sheet - criticism welcome

[Emiricol]

I've made my first real PC, and I'd welcome a critical review by you fine folks.  The sheet is here but comes in at    just under 2 megs (sorry).  Next time I will take time to make an HTML sheet rather than simply posting scans.

Anyway, the idea behind him is that he's a low-born commoner, and a pretty good raider.  When not raiding, he's either fishing or herding.  Mostly fishing.  I tried to set the SAs up in such a way that they could be played out in a large number of directions, and I paid particular attention to the points.  I wanted them to be a reflection of what (so far) he's chosen when SAs conflict.

Not reflected in the sheet is his bonus CP, because I wasn't sure if that applied to a specific pool, or whether he could apply it to whichever pool was relevant for what he was doing at the time.

[Mike Holmes]

Looks like a fine (if somewhat typical) character. What kind of criticism were you looking for?

Mike

[Emiricol]

Well, I didn't want to get too creative my first time out the gate.

For input, did I get the shield coverage right?  I couldn't find a listing of shield coverage areas so I guessed.  Are the combat pools too low for a raider type, or pretty much where they should be?  From a raw numbers point of view, are the temporal/mental attributes reasonable for the PC concept?  I think they are ok in terms of modeling the PC, but again, this was my first real attempt at a character...

Most importantly, do the SAs listed give a seneschal the ammunition he'd need to craft a story around them, or are any of them too specific, or too vague? I wanted something that gave him a reason 1) to travel and 2) to explore the Savaxen culture in-game.  These are to an extent conflicting goals, but I think travel (raiding especially and also commerce, intrigue etc) is an integral part of the Savaxen culture based on the world guide.

[Tash]

Be a successful raider is kind of vague.  Why does he want to be successful?  Does he want money, glory, to become a Jarl himself?  All of the above?  Knowing these helps you and the Seneschal craft the story.  Likewise with the destiny, does he know he is going to become a Jarl (i.e. is it something he is seeking or something that will happen later on but that he doesn't know aobut yet).  I'm not saying your SAs are bad, just that you and Seneschal should discuss the details behind them to allow the story to have more depth.

Also, how do these SAs tie with the other players in the group?  Is his Jarl a PC?  What about the daughter?  Are they Savaxen or from other lands?  How do they feel about his desire to go raiding?

I have a player in my campaign with simillar SAs: he is from Angharad and wants to become a cheiftan so he can marry the daughter of a the leader of the Highland tribes.  So he has joined a mercenary troop in Stahl trying to earn money and renown.  Knowing these things I really can make the story interesting for him and the rest of the group.

[Lance D. Allen]

I have a feeling that this character is, like my own first, a character without a game.. A first date with the chargen system, so to speak.

[Emiricol]

Indeed, Wolfen.  I hope to use him, but he wasn't created specifically for a game (thus the light background - it might need to change if he ever gets into a game).  I like making characters, though, so if he doesn't get used, I'll live :)

For the SAs as they currently stand, I don't think he has any idea he is to be a Jarl (Destiny).  I think the simplest outcome of the listed SAs would be to have his high loyalty and high drive coincide, making him the Jarl's man and upping him to Thane.  From there, earning the Jarl's daughter's hand in marriage.  Then, either slowly assuming leadership in the community (he has good Ettiquette (Clan)) or being sent by his Jarl to found a new little realm.

I'd really like to know whether the numbers are "in theme", appropriate to the type of character.  And also, if the Shield numbers are right on his armor diagram - I guessed at that.