Baal and Easter Platte: Working up a planet-town

[Brendan]

I've been wanting to play DitV for months, and my gamer friends got much more into the idea once I mentioned that we could play it in a Fireflylike setting (about which I read here, of course).  This is my first attempt at a Job / Town / Planet:  Let's Be Bad Guys, in Easter Platte, on Baal.

The Progression

Pride:  Len Sho, a reef miner on the water planet Baal, wins the Shinepenny lottery and buys a home on one of the planet's rare and valuable surfaces--Easter Platte.  Errol Wu, who ran the lottery as a scam, is forced to pay and hide the fact that he's gone bankrupt doing so.  The rich mine owners resent Sho's new money and want him and his crude manners off the island.

Injustice:  Twenty-year-old Brianna Donnell's little sister Lily was born with a genetic condition that makes her the equivalent of a constant burn victim.  Their parents, miner Sayle and seamstress Verdy, marry Brianna to Len Sho in exchange for money for Lily's medication.  With his beautiful new trophy, Sho starts trying to integrate himself into the rich mine owners' society.  They snub him.  His first wife, Mai, forces Brianna to work and live with their new servants. 

Sin:  Sho takes out his frustration by beating Brianna, and threatening to stop paying for Lily's medicine if she tells.  Mai is seduced by Errol Wu and becomes pregnant with his child (her first; Sho is infertile).  Brianna finds out and begins blackmailing her, first to get out of service, then for the money she can't otherwise access.

Demonic Attacks:   A storm tears up the reef-mining platform that Wu owns and where Sayle Donnell works, trapping him and fifty-two other miners under a collapsed platform with little air.

What They Want

Len Sho wants the Dogs to make him a hero by robbing Errol Wu's home while Brianna is visiting (she'll deactivate the security), taking Wu's money, and letting Len Sho "rescue" Brianna and Wu; the Dogs can escape and keep the money they get.  He's the one who calls the Dogs in the first place.

Brianna first wants the Dogs to rescue the miners and her father, then wants the Dogs to leave and take her with them; she'll pay with some money she's squeezed out of Mai, and leave the rest with Verdy.

Mai wants the Dogs to kill Brianna in the course of the "rescue," and make it look like an accident.  She'll present a very different story of the situation in their household than Brianna, and has burned her own arms repeatedly to make it believable.

Errol Wu wants the Dogs to rescue a few of the miners, leave the rest, then lie that it was obviously sabotaged so he can collect the insurance money.  (If the Dogs do hold him hostage, he'll offer to split it.)

Sayle Donnell wants to be rescued, and for the Dogs to protect him while he makes public the fact that Errol skipped mine safety inspections.  He also wants Brianna to stay where she is, believing that Sho will protect her.

Verdy wants the Dogs to take Lily and a trumped-up DNA test indicating she's Sho's child to the core planet Ariel, where she might be cured, on his tab.

Lily wants the Dogs to kill her, releasing her from her pain and her parents and Brianna from their obligations.

What Would Happen If The Dogs Never Came

Sayle and the miners would die.  Errol Wu would blame them for the collapse, collect the insurance and pay Len Sho, who is rapidly spending himself out, to divorce Mai.  Brianna would kill Sho in his sleep and be imprisoned (but not executed) by the mildly grateful mine owners.  Mai would get the remainder of Sho's estate.  Verdy would kill Lily, then herself.

Thoughts?  Is this too thick for a first town?  Too thin?  Am I misunderstanding any of the steps?

[Brendan]

I should mention that although I talk about the PCs as Dogs, above, this is going to be a game--like Brandon's Firefly in the 'Verse, from which I'm stealing enthusiastically--where the Crew are just people with a job to do, not agents of the King.  We'll very likely use a similar set of ceremonies to his, too, and probably modify them after the first game depending on which ones seem useful and which don't.   And Kitbashing and the Faith was so helpful to me in explaining the town creation steps that I'm not even bothering to change their names.  We haven't decided where to set the supernatural dial yet, either, so it may end up that "bad luck" actually is a demonic attack.