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Inactive Forums => Forge Birthday Forum => Topic started by: Keith Senkowski on April 06, 2006, 10:52:14 AM



Title: Snyder Has No Cell Phone
Post by: Keith Senkowski on April 06, 2006, 10:52:14 AM
What the fuck is up with that?  He is some sort of luddite or some shit?  I don't know.  What is your theory as to why he has not joined the rest of humanity?


Title: Re: Snyder Has No Cell Phone
Post by: Josh Roby on April 06, 2006, 10:55:18 AM
No cell?  Does he have internet access?  Does he have electricity?  Does he have indoor plumbing?  Does he live in a house with a roof and not some wattle-and-daub thing made out of tree roots?


Title: Re: Snyder Has No Cell Phone
Post by: Marhault on April 06, 2006, 11:02:42 AM
Fucking technophiles.  Those things will give you cancer, and shit.  If I didn't have to have one for work, I wouldn't carry one either.

Be strong, Matt.  Don't give in to the bullshit rat race that is modern society!


Title: Re: Snyder Has No Cell Phone
Post by: timfire on April 06, 2006, 11:06:11 AM
Ron Edwards has just barely saved himself---he just a cell phone, what? A month ago? A month and a half ago?


Title: Re: Snyder Has No Cell Phone
Post by: Bryan Hansel on April 06, 2006, 11:09:00 AM
I'm with Matt! No cell phone needed.  Don't give into the hype.


Title: Re: Snyder Has No Cell Phone
Post by: Andy Kitkowski on April 06, 2006, 11:36:07 AM
My wife and I have no cell phone. We are probably the last people both in NC and Japan that don't have cell phones.

A monthly phone bill is like the price of a dinner at Vespa.
http://www.zspotlight.com/establishment.asp?zWhat=music&EstID=9158

Vespa > 4 Phone Calls a Month

-Andy
(I've got Vonage at home, too. $15/mo for virtually unlimited talking)


Title: Re: Snyder Has No Cell Phone
Post by: Matt Snyder on April 06, 2006, 11:53:06 AM
No cell?  Does he have internet access?  Does he have electricity?  Does he have indoor plumbing?  Does he live in a house with a roof and not some wattle-and-daub thing made out of tree roots?

Everything but the roof. Roofers were supposed to come this week.

Mrs Snyder: We should get cell phones.
Mr. Snyder: We should not let rain spill on our bedspread.
Mrs. Snyder: Good point.


Title: Re: Snyder Has No Cell Phone
Post by: Keith Senkowski on April 06, 2006, 11:54:21 AM
Everything but the roof. Roofers were supposed to come this week.

Mrs Snyder: We should get cell phones.
Mr. Snyder: We should not let rain spill on our bedspread.
Mrs. Snyder: Good point.

Why do I feel that the convesation was reversed in roles?  You just aren't that bright Matt...


Title: Re: Snyder Has No Cell Phone
Post by: Ron Edwards on April 06, 2006, 12:00:15 PM
Here's my speculation regarding the real conversation:

Mrs. Snyder: We should get cell phones.
Mr. Snyder: Ooohhhh, pretty Dust Devils cover.
Mrs. Snyder: I really need a cell phone, to keep track of you at all hours of day and night, and to make sure you buy the right brand of personal products when you're wandering helpless in the grocery store.
Mr. Snyder: Can we play Dust Devils with my mom again? Honey?
Mrs. Snyder: Get away from me.

Best, Ron


Title: Re: Snyder Has No Cell Phone
Post by: Keith Senkowski on April 06, 2006, 12:10:15 PM
Here's my speculation regarding the real conversation:

Mrs. Snyder: We should get cell phones.
Mr. Snyder: Ooohhhh, pretty Dust Devils cover.
Mrs. Snyder: I really need a cell phone, to keep track of you at all hours of day and night, and to make sure you buy the right brand of personal products when you're wandering helpless in the grocery store.
Mr. Snyder: Can we play Dust Devils with my mom again? Honey?
Mrs. Snyder: Get away from me.

Best, Ron

I think Ron has a webcam set up in Matt's house.


Title: Re: Snyder Has No Cell Phone
Post by: Matt Snyder on April 06, 2006, 12:16:00 PM
I think Ron has a webcam set up in Matt's house.

This explains much. Ron, that night-time incident with the mayonaise jar? Let's just forget about it.


Title: Re: Snyder Has No Cell Phone
Post by: jrs on April 06, 2006, 12:16:39 PM
Quote
I really need a cell phone, to keep track of you at all hours of day and night, and to make sure you buy the right brand of personal products when you're wandering helpless in the grocery store.

Hrumph.  Using a cell phone to meet the challenge of picking up the right brand of personal products is cheating.

Julie


Title: Re: Snyder Has No Cell Phone
Post by: Marhault on April 06, 2006, 12:18:32 PM
Hrumph.  Using a cell phone to meet the challenge of picking up the right brand of personal products is cheating.

Julie
Only in a gamist relationship.


Title: Re: Snyder Has No Cell Phone
Post by: Larry L. on April 06, 2006, 01:15:15 PM
Keith, if you pay me a stipend, I'll gladly hang around Snyder with my cellphone, and be his personal cellphone. "Ring ring! Ring ring! It's Keith dude. Ring ring!"

He doesn't keep weapons around, does he?

Only in a gamist relationship.

*snort!*


Title: Re: Snyder Has No Cell Phone
Post by: Thor Olavsrud on April 06, 2006, 01:26:54 PM
What the fuck is up with that?  He is some sort of luddite or some shit?  I don't know.  What is your theory as to why he has not joined the rest of humanity?

Do they have electricity out there yet?

About three weeks ago:

Thor: Awesome! Give me a ring when you land. Here's my cell phone number. What's yours, in case I need to get in touch with you?

Matt: ... I don't have a cell phone.

Thor: ... ::scratches head:: ... Watchoo talkin' 'bout, Willis?!


Title: Re: Snyder Has No Cell Phone
Post by: Thunder_God on April 06, 2006, 01:39:07 PM
Hrumph.  Using a cell phone to meet the challenge of picking up the right brand of personal products is cheating.

Julie
Only in a gamist relationship.

That's also my reply about, "Is your mother Gamist/Narrativist/Simulationist?" She is what she believes will let her win. We're Polish Jews, what you say about Jewish grandmothers we say about Polish grandmothers, I have two Polish Jewish grandmothers.
Woody Allen has nothing on my grandmothers.


Title: Re: Snyder Has No Cell Phone
Post by: droog on April 06, 2006, 02:00:03 PM
Can any of you trendoids explain exactly why you need a mobile phone? Apart from trying to be cool and all that?


Title: Re: Snyder Has No Cell Phone
Post by: Thunder_God on April 06, 2006, 02:03:48 PM
Till I finished High School I only used my cell phone about 5 minutes a month, now in the army I use it a lot more.

These days I use it to contact other medics, be available when they don't find the morphine(truly sad), etc...


Title: Re: Snyder Has No Cell Phone
Post by: Thor Olavsrud on April 06, 2006, 02:07:11 PM
Can any of you trendoids explain exactly why you need a mobile phone? Apart from trying to be cool and all that?

How else do you make phone calls, take pictures, and keep your calendar in the future?

In my world, there are no wires. Who needs a phone jack?


Title: Re: Snyder Has No Cell Phone
Post by: Josh Roby on April 06, 2006, 02:14:23 PM
Can any of you trendoids explain exactly why you need a mobile phone? Apart from trying to be cool and all that?

Because I spend four hours a day in my car or running around a largish corporate campus, and the ability to call other people or send myself text-message emails or put things on my calendar when I'm not sitting next to a computer and/or phone is... well, absolutely essential to the way I live my entire life.


Title: Re: Snyder Has No Cell Phone
Post by: Ron Edwards on April 06, 2006, 02:15:22 PM
My wife bugged me to get one for some years. I balked.

We were in Sweden last July. She is native Swedish and can speak that foreign talk they use there. In my presence, she exploited this ability to make me buy a cell phone. Fellow husbands will understand; the rest of you can bask in your blissful ignorance.

The phone's instructions were unaccountably also written in Swedish, baffling my efforts to use it beyond one or two calls; it was not clear, for instance, how to turn it on or off. Also, it needed a new brain or pancreas or something upon returning to the U.S. My wife suggested I download English instructions from the website and purchase the U.S. version of the missing organ. I balked.

Then I went to Berlin last December. This involved much Adept Press type business negotiation and much unpredictable socializing, which means assumptions regarding me + cell phone. I had to call folks and triangulate and negotiate, while zooming on the U-Bahn or gawking at the Wall. My wife had, originally, suggested that I'd need a phone which could function in Europe, back during the original purchase. I could feel her gentle smile across the Atlantic, thank you very much.

So there in Berlin, I discovered that my Swedish-innards cell phone forced everyone to make long-distance calls, which is No Good, so again, in Berlin, where you can buy anything you want and the people are very awesome, I was able to effect an organ transplant on my phone. Thus it served its purpose in life. I learned to work more than a couple of buttons on its surface and even learned about recharging (i.e. feeding) it.

Upon returning to the States, and having obviously suffered brain damage due to alien radiation from the phone and hence convinced I still needed it, I then found the proper body-chop shop for phones and purchased, at long last, American innards for the thing. Hence now I use it with fear and trepidation, and have even bothered Luke or Clinton on occasion because I was bored on the train.

And yes, the whole phone/relationship thing has begun. I still keep it turned off almost all the time. I can stop any time I want to. Beware, youngsters, beware. It seems like just plain fun at first, then you do it harder each time, and more often. You can tell yourself you're just taking care of it, because it needs you, but really you need it. It's a road to perdition. It's just like that story by Ray Bradbury, which affected me profoundly as a child but whose salutary message has finally been overcome by wife-rays, phone brain-rays, and all you fuckers out there who have them too.

A tragic tale, Ron


Title: Re: Snyder Has No Cell Phone
Post by: talysman on April 06, 2006, 02:54:43 PM
Every once in a while, I buy a cellphone, then let it lapse. I have two dead cellphones lying around. I should have three, but I can't figure out where the third is. That was the good one, because it had a pay-as-you-go plan. You eurons don't realize that in Soviet America, cell phone company purchases YOU, and most cell phone plans are not pay-as-you-go or even remotely moral. Pay-as-you-go is a very new thing in America.

The problem I have had with cell phones is that I just don't use phones in general that much, so cell phones don't seem like that great of an investment. Also, I'm never sure where to put it. It doesn't seem right in my pants pocket. I had that problem with a PDA, too.

Also, I hate being interrupted.


Title: Re: Snyder Has No Cell Phone
Post by: greyorm on April 06, 2006, 03:30:33 PM
In my presence, she exploited this ability to make me buy a cell phone. Fellow husbands will understand; the rest of you can bask in your blissful ignorance.

Indeed. I know the look on your face, Ron, I can imagine it perfectly as the same look on my face when Jen bought us cell phones while I was saying, "But...do we really need them?" and various strangled sounds as all my attempts at reason were smoothly disassembled. Cue expressive sigh of rueful surrender.

Then I found how damn useful it was just to stay in touch: "Hey. Where are you, you said you were going to be home an hour ago? The children have taken over and I don't know what they're doing to the cat. Help me! Come home now!" Or more typically, "What did you say you wanted me to get at the store again? This brand? OH. Ok, good thing I called you." Saves me trips back to the store and/or sad sighs when I have purchased the wrong product.

Also, when you are regularly driving an hour to work and the same back through miles of utterly deserted wilderness during the middle of a Minnesota winter, it is an absolutely wonderful item to have on hand should anything go wrong...like your radiator blowing out on you. "Hi, client? I won't be able to make it today. Can we reschedule? What? No, my car is currently on the side of the road due a bit of an accident. There's smoke coming from it. No, I'll be fine; calling a tow. Tomorrow? Sounds good, I will see you then." and then "Jen? Get the phone book and find the number for the tow for me, please." Actually, I would say it is essential in that situation, especially given that we typically have winters of 40-below, and you don't want to be stuck out in that for too long.

It is also incredibly useful when you have four children, three of them are in school, and one of them has serious problems that between occasionally-and-regularly require you to get to the school immediately to either take them home or help the teachers deal with the problem by talking your insane monkey down from the desktops.

Though it has become less useful now that I am no longer in school myself, nor running my tech consulting business, since I'm usually either at home or at work and can be easily reached via a land line. But since we don't have long distance on our landline, I now use mine to call parents and (recently) friends. It has actually been cheaper for me than paying long distance charges, but I don't use it all that often. Mainly, I use it to schedule appointments, keep track of phone numbers and similar junk, set alarms when I nap before midnight shifts, and that sort of thing.


Title: Re: Snyder Has No Cell Phone
Post by: jburneko on April 06, 2006, 04:19:58 PM
A tragic tale, Ron

Oh, dear god, this does not bode well for me.  I am in phase one (wife forces one upon me) of this story.  Is there no hope?

Jesse


Title: Re: Snyder Has No Cell Phone
Post by: HMT on April 06, 2006, 04:56:29 PM
What's a cell phone?


Title: Re: Snyder Has No Cell Phone
Post by: greyorm on April 06, 2006, 05:33:55 PM
Oh, dear god, this does not bode well for me.  I am in phase one (wife forces one upon me) of this story. Is there no hope?

Our entirely-not-premature condolences.


Title: Re: Snyder Has No Cell Phone
Post by: Bankuei on April 06, 2006, 06:00:56 PM
No wife, no cell phone.  I will savor the freedom while it lasts.


Title: Re: Snyder Has No Cell Phone
Post by: Luke on April 06, 2006, 08:32:08 PM
Quote from: Ron
and have even bothered Luke or Clinton on occasion because I was bored on the train.

::choke::

On occasion? Try every day, like clockwork.

But you know what? It's like I've got my own personal Ron Edwards calling me personally to say, "Hey fuckwad, do shit! Think shit!"

Wait. It's not "like that." It is that.

And I love it.

Anyway, to stay on topic, I too witnessed Snyder's lack of cell phone. He tried to be all Iowan about it. We just shrugged. At this point in NYC, you need a cell phone like you need sneakers: Just to get around comfortably.

Hey Snyder, what happens if there's a big scheduling snafu or something while you're out to dinner or something tomorrow, huh? Huh? How you gonna be a good organizer? Huh?! Huh?!

-L


Title: Re: Snyder Has No Cell Phone
Post by: drozdal on April 06, 2006, 08:43:16 PM
Can any of you trendoids explain exactly why you need a mobile phone? Apart from trying to be cool and all that?
Yesterday I did my laundry and after all the clothes were removed I found my cellphone lying at the bottom of washing machine all wet and smelling like TIDE. I thought that I'm finally free from cell opression, but after some time i plugged it in and the blasted thing worked. Screen is a bit foggy, but shit works just fine. Here's my point - You need cellphone to remind Yourself that after all those years spent on this planet You didin't really learnt a thing (i would learn my lesson, but as i said phone works fine so i'm like whatever).


Title: Re: Snyder Has No Cell Phone
Post by: talysman on April 06, 2006, 09:13:45 PM
Yesterday I did my laundry and after all the clothes were removed I found my cellphone lying at the bottom of washing machine all wet and smelling like TIDE. I thought that I'm finally free from cell opression, but after some time i plugged it in and the blasted thing worked. Screen is a bit foggy, but shit works just fine.
I want to thank you for this story. I've been trying to write lyrics for a song named "When You Lose The Cell You Love" (ok, the *second* song with that title) and couldn't think of anything beyond the first verse. This gives me an idea for at least one more verse.


Title: Re: Snyder Has No Cell Phone
Post by: Thunder_God on April 06, 2006, 09:45:29 PM
Israel has the second highest Cell phone per person in the world, right after that country that came up with saunas and Nokia.

When I need to jot down people's numbers into the medical network, there are people with no home-number, there are no people without a cell-phone.

We have about, what, 1.3 cell phones per head?


Title: Re: Snyder Has No Cell Phone
Post by: contracycle on April 06, 2006, 11:51:47 PM
Can any of you trendoids explain exactly why you need a mobile phone? Apart from trying to be cool and all that?

Tsk tsk.  Think of it this way, the phone number is your IP address.  It used to be your houses network address, now its yours.  I expect a network address will eventually be issued automatically as soon as a citizen is registered for social security or whatever universal lists there are.

This does have reall utility; one of the most significant reasoinis for takeup is the ability to call the emergency services.  Then there are people who get rescued at sea or from mountains becase they were able to call in their own plight.  Swome contracts specify bthat phones are not insured against damage inflicted by enemies in wartime becuase of the propensity of troops to carry their own mobiles.  More prosaically, there is the calling of cabs by clubbers on the way home and so forth.  Or, booking tickets by phone rather than standing in a queue.  Being able to call people whan arrangements are suddenly cancelled, etc.

This is a genuine case of network externalities, and a variety of the correct context for that argument.  The more phones there are the more benefit you get from your phone, the more services are geared to phones.  The only surprising thing is that the phone manufacturers seem determined to go down a particlar path of more media, TV and so on, whereas what the phone is more likely to become is a universal device that talks to your TV, fridge, light switches, home media server and orders your groceries from the supermarket.


Title: Re: Snyder Has No Cell Phone
Post by: Matt Wilson on April 07, 2006, 05:09:37 AM
Quote
whereas what the phone is more likely to become is a universal device that talks to your TV, fridge, light switches, home media server and orders your groceries from the supermarket.

I'm sure it'll happen eventually. I saw plans for that kind of stuff when I worked for Motorola.

Carriers are into media right now because it's data transfer using the network, which they can bill for in the same way they can charge 99 cents for a ringtone. Using your phone to talk to your TV is probably a matter of the phone's initial cost and not a recurring expense.


Title: Re: Snyder Has No Cell Phone
Post by: Sydney Freedberg on April 07, 2006, 07:45:36 AM
Agreeing with Gareth on the "cell phones go to war" bit:

I just spent a day (Tuesday) at Fort Benning, Georgia, watching Army recruits run through basic and not-so-basic infantry training, and all the drill sergeants seemed to be carrying cellphones along with their walkie-talkies, to better keep in touch as they ran the recruits around in the woods or from one exercise site to another (the mock-up village, the land of pop-up targets, whatever). One drill sergeant went so far as to tell me that his cellphone and his radio are his most powerful weapons.

Plus most of the cops and homeland security officials I deal with rely on their cellphones as their primary means of communication. Some departments are even buying specific brands (won't advertise for them here) whose text-messaging features still work when some kind of natural or unnatural disaster takes down the voice network.

Communications = good.


Title: Re: Snyder Has No Cell Phone
Post by: Thunder_God on April 07, 2006, 07:48:48 AM
Soldiers also use cell-phones to stay in touch with home. You have no idea how much money is gained when the recruits call home every night in these parts.


Title: Re: Snyder Has No Cell Phone
Post by: droog on April 07, 2006, 09:52:48 AM
So...good for authority and the capitalist economy. Must rush out and buy one.


Title: Re: Snyder Has No Cell Phone
Post by: Ron Edwards on April 07, 2006, 02:17:43 PM
Hey wait a minute, Luke, that doesn't count. Spider people were involved.

Best, Ron


Title: Re: Snyder Has No Cell Phone
Post by: contracycle on April 10, 2006, 03:11:21 AM
So...good for authority and the capitalist economy. Must rush out and buy one.

Sigh.  You shouldn't be surprised that capitalism pursues advances in technology, nor should you be surprised that these advances have genuine function.  Building and selling for a one-year replacement cycle is indeed typically capitalist, but this does not alter the underlying utility of the universal network.  And in the not too distant future, all connections may have to be encrypted as a necessary part of using virtual private networks, as with Skype.

There is a great deal of commodity fetishisation in the marketing of handsets, granted, but the basic functionality and investment therein should be seen in the same light as that in canals or railways.


Title: Re: Snyder Has No Cell Phone
Post by: droog on April 10, 2006, 04:35:41 AM
Oh, I'm not surprised. I doubt that most people are thinking in your terms, however.

I think it's a bit rich to be knocking people for not having one, though, even if it is a joke. Note the 'functionality' described here. Chats on the train, calling taxis, turning on your TV, pursuing frenetic lifestyles, police, war...it's either trivial or authoritarian. Oh dear, I might miss a dinner engagement.

No thanks. And we still don't know if they cause cancer.