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Your Mom - Gamist, Simulationist or Narrativist?

Started by DevP, April 06, 2005, 01:56:42 PM

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First, GNS (and name dropping):

Yo mama so Gamist, Wink Martindale left the last session crying.
Yo mama so Sim, Stephen King has nightmares when they play Call of Cthulu.
Yo mama so Sim, Donald Rumsfeld started videotaping their Twilight 2000 games for inspiration.
Yo mama so Nar, Steven Speilberg keeps trying to get rights to her gaming sessions.

Now, resolution mechanics:

Yo mama so ugly, she she done spent her whole karma pool to get an NPC sailor in bed.
Yo mama so fat, she keeps rolling everyone else's dice with the flab on her arms.
Yo mama so dumb, she won the right to narrate any outcome and killed her whole party.

Relating mama to different games:

Yo mama smell so funky, no Garou would touch her.
Yo mama so old, some Ventrue dropped to his knees to pay her proper respect.
Yo mama so fat, we had to leave her in the dungeon when she got knocked out. All seven of the rest of us didn't have the encumberance to drag her butt out.
Yo mama so fat, when she falls on someone she does MegaDamage.
Yo mama so sweaty, her touch does MegaDamage to vampires.
Yo mama so dumb, gully dwarves taught her to count.
Yo mama so clumsy, she hurt herself just searching for a trap to disarm.
Yo mama so ugly, her alley cat totem hisses at her.
Yo mama such a slob, her rat totem chose her for the crumbs.
Yo mama so crazy, some Malkavians tried to have her committed.
Yo mama so mean, she sent a Brujah home crying.
Yo mama so slutty, she has +12 save vs. STDs.
Yo mama so pretentious, Toreadors make fun of her art.
Yo mama so fast, she uses celerity to get undressed.
Yo mama so easy, every guy in the world may as well have 18 Charisma.
Yo mama so easy, it's a target number of 2 on any social skill to lay her -- and that's just because all ones would be a botch.
Yo mama so fat, she gives any vehicle she's in a -5 to its manuever rating.
Yo mama so hairy, it takes two dice to tell she's not a Wookie.
Yo mama so hairy, she gets an AC of 4 from the extra effort it takes to cut through it all.

And some general ones:

Yo mama so dumb, she attacked a gazebo.
Yo mama so short, she needs a spear to hit someone in the same hex.
Yo mama so gassy, I summoned a fire elemental just to follow her around.
Yo mama so cross-eyed, a mage tried to cast a blinding spell on her and ended up blinding everyone in the room but her.
Yo mama so fat, someone's gotta hit her with a boffer weapon three times for it to count or it'd be too easy.
Yo mama so dumb, she tells her opponent which R/P/S choice she's going to make ahead of time so they don't choose the same one.
Christopher E. Stith



-Yo mama is Mike's Standard Rant #32- "Just shoot the heifer already!"
-Yo mama complain "Hungry Hungry Hippos" got too many points of contact
-Yo mama's teeth break Social Contract
-Yo mama's ass cheeks gotta Calvinball for a turn on the chair
-Yo mama just Unabashed, Vanilla Ugly
-They drew back the Veil on yo mama and got the damn game banned in 37 States
-Yo mama got a search time to write her own damn name
-Yo mama teeth so crooked, it look like they fighting over IIEE
-Yo mama diagonosed with GNS- "God No! Syndrome"
-Tell yo mama to stop applying Force to the earth's gravity field
-Yo mama be deprotagonizing the word "Fugly"

Doug Ruff

I got something for yo mama. I got her... a haiku

I don't want to play
this game is incoherent
just like yo mama
'Come and see the violence inherent in the System.'


It's been done on before but...

My life with Yo Mama.
Pete Darby

C. Edwards

Your momma so Nar, she never misses a PtA meeting.


Frank T

Quote from: Gordon C. Landis on April 07, 2005, 12:27:52 AM
Yo momma so confused about our parts and her hole, she gave us all her sinnin'-door key.

Frag. I get it now. You are a sick person, is what you are. ;-)

- Frank

Larry L.

Quote from: Gordon C. Landis on April 07, 2005, 12:27:52 AM
Yo momma so confused about our parts and her hole, she gave us all her sinnin'-door key.

Okay. I spend a WHOLE FUCKIN' YEAR trying to figure this one out. Does it involve synechdoche? I think I'm missing a step somewhere. Why's this awful? Arrgh!

Gordon C. Landis

Yes, that's all it is - a lousy pun (not even that, really) on synechdoche (sinnin-door key).  Our parts, her hole, and a key to get in the sinnin door.   And . . .do some sinin'.  With yo momma. (under construction)